It's only Game of the Year if it comes from the Game of the Year region of France.

Jimmy Fallon would host the Hunger Games.

Read this as NVIDIA earrings and was very confused for a second. Like, what kind of meta glasses bullshit are they doing now?

i am running for president on a platform of national lie-down lunch. everyone, not just white collar WFH workers, should have the opportunity to lie down on a comfortable mattress or couch on their lunch break and maybe even sneak in a little nap if they want. this should be a universal human right

Using ChatGPT

"why does restaurant food taste better than food cooked at home"

The cook does not care if you live or die and uses salt and butter accordingly

Y'all notice they're rounding up most of these "freeloading" immigrants AT WORK???!!

when i grow up i want to stop spilling things on my clothes

you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.

This Metro article about "Trump" firing air traffic controllers has the most low-key 9/11 mention I've ever seen.

We're going to make it through this 🩷💙
Let's turn our fear and rage into community action.

Somehow "Elon Musk Is a Genius" and "Elon Musk Doesn't Know How Hands Work" are being said by a lot of the same people

My hot take for that subway interviewer guy is: if you list bacon as an ingredient on your sandwich/burger, it better have enough bacon for there to be bacon in every bite.
Looking at you, sandwich I just ate.