🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
@toddalio.bsky.social
Everyone's favourite free-range, locally-sourced, organic, friendly-neighbourhood Linux admin.
Take off, eh?
Neither related to Samantha, nor made of actual bees.
He / Him / His
Take off, eh?
Neither related to Samantha, nor made of actual bees.
He / Him / His
Pinned
🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
@toddalio.bsky.social
· Nov 22
The worst thing about getting older is that you have to take a fibre supplement if you want to shitpost regularly.
Reposted by 🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
What is the real world equivalent of a dark souls merchant located in a hard to reach place in the middle of nowhere with deadly enemies right next to them, complaining about how little business they get lately
December 24, 2025 at 8:46 AM
What is the real world equivalent of a dark souls merchant located in a hard to reach place in the middle of nowhere with deadly enemies right next to them, complaining about how little business they get lately
If Mrs. Claus has fed goddamn beans to those goddamn reindeer again, she's getting served with divorce papers on Boxing Day.
#TootsToAndFromTheNorthPole
#12DaysOfChristmas
#HashtagGames
#TootsToAndFromTheNorthPole
#12DaysOfChristmas
#HashtagGames
December 24, 2025 at 5:17 AM
If Mrs. Claus has fed goddamn beans to those goddamn reindeer again, she's getting served with divorce papers on Boxing Day.
#TootsToAndFromTheNorthPole
#12DaysOfChristmas
#HashtagGames
#TootsToAndFromTheNorthPole
#12DaysOfChristmas
#HashtagGames
I hope y'all have been good, so that Robot Santa doesn't have to punish you with extreme prejudice.
J/K - we're ALL naughty in Robot Santa's eyes.
J/K - we're ALL naughty in Robot Santa's eyes.
December 24, 2025 at 5:08 AM
I hope y'all have been good, so that Robot Santa doesn't have to punish you with extreme prejudice.
J/K - we're ALL naughty in Robot Santa's eyes.
J/K - we're ALL naughty in Robot Santa's eyes.
Reposted by 🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
"Yes RAM is expensive, there are shortages and it may delay your order. So to help you out we are offering computers without RAM, and you can try to find it yourself."
December 23, 2025 at 3:17 PM
"Yes RAM is expensive, there are shortages and it may delay your order. So to help you out we are offering computers without RAM, and you can try to find it yourself."
BREAKING: Trump authorizes drone strike on Toronto's Corus Quay head office of Global News in retaliation for airing of 60 Minutes CECOT story.
</parody, in case it wasn't obvious>
</parody, in case it wasn't obvious>
December 23, 2025 at 6:03 AM
BREAKING: Trump authorizes drone strike on Toronto's Corus Quay head office of Global News in retaliation for airing of 60 Minutes CECOT story.
</parody, in case it wasn't obvious>
</parody, in case it wasn't obvious>
Romancing The Stone is my favorite movie which shows that though you can't get blood from one, it still might be interested in a committed relationship.
December 22, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Romancing The Stone is my favorite movie which shows that though you can't get blood from one, it still might be interested in a committed relationship.
Today I learned there are birds known as "Great Tits" 🙃🤣
December 22, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Today I learned there are birds known as "Great Tits" 🙃🤣
Jocks: I'd never associate myself with a turn based strategy game. What a bunch of nerdy losers!!
Also Jocks: Go football!
Also Jocks: Go football!
December 22, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Jocks: I'd never associate myself with a turn based strategy game. What a bunch of nerdy losers!!
Also Jocks: Go football!
Also Jocks: Go football!
Reposted by 🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
Waymo is lobbying Canadian officials to enable a fully autonomous ride-hailing service in Toronto and is preparing to operate self-driving taxis despite winter climate challenges.
Save What Matters
Curate Feeds | Make Collections | Customize Email Briefs
briefly.co
December 22, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Reposted by 🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
BLUESKY HAS OFFICIALLY BANNED THE USE OF GOATSE
December 22, 2025 at 12:53 PM
BLUESKY HAS OFFICIALLY BANNED THE USE OF GOATSE
Reposted by 🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
Everyone who drinks coffee has at some point wondered whether they could brew a pot of coffee using coffee instead of water.
The ones who actually did it, found themselves magically transported to 5th century Finland
The ones who actually did it, found themselves magically transported to 5th century Finland
December 22, 2025 at 10:21 AM
Everyone who drinks coffee has at some point wondered whether they could brew a pot of coffee using coffee instead of water.
The ones who actually did it, found themselves magically transported to 5th century Finland
The ones who actually did it, found themselves magically transported to 5th century Finland
Fuck a Christmas gift, I need a Christmas rift <opens a portal to an alternate & hopefully better universe>
Fuck a christmas gift, I need a christmas stiff ::pops viagra::
Fuck a christmas gift, I need a christmas grift
December 20, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Fuck a Christmas gift, I need a Christmas rift <opens a portal to an alternate & hopefully better universe>
So, what I hear you saying is I could sell my free run, organic penis for at least $150,000, and get a good down payment on a house?
Dr Oz: "The creation of a penis costs on average in America $150,000 per child ... if you add testicles, that's extra"
December 19, 2025 at 3:53 PM
So, what I hear you saying is I could sell my free run, organic penis for at least $150,000, and get a good down payment on a house?
Reposted by 🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
they're trying to normalise everything bad they're doing; flood the world wi' evil greed and stupidity so we have to pick our battles and choose the lesser of evils, over and over...
until life is only a blurry memory of decency and equity.
this is not how it should be.
remember how it should be.
until life is only a blurry memory of decency and equity.
this is not how it should be.
remember how it should be.
December 19, 2025 at 3:27 PM
they're trying to normalise everything bad they're doing; flood the world wi' evil greed and stupidity so we have to pick our battles and choose the lesser of evils, over and over...
until life is only a blurry memory of decency and equity.
this is not how it should be.
remember how it should be.
until life is only a blurry memory of decency and equity.
this is not how it should be.
remember how it should be.
If you sneeze, and don't rattle the windows, are you even a dad?
December 19, 2025 at 3:48 PM
If you sneeze, and don't rattle the windows, are you even a dad?
Yeah
One, two Grinches here before you
That's what I said now
Grinches, Grinches who abhor you
Just go ahead now
One, two Grinches here before you
That's what I said now
Grinches, Grinches who abhor you
Just go ahead now
December 19, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Yeah
One, two Grinches here before you
That's what I said now
Grinches, Grinches who abhor you
Just go ahead now
One, two Grinches here before you
That's what I said now
Grinches, Grinches who abhor you
Just go ahead now
January 2026: TikTok deal closes, Oracle becomes part owner.
February 2026: Oracle contacts all TikTok users; demands $5000 in license fees from each of them.
February 2026: Oracle contacts all TikTok users; demands $5000 in license fees from each of them.
December 19, 2025 at 12:33 AM
January 2026: TikTok deal closes, Oracle becomes part owner.
February 2026: Oracle contacts all TikTok users; demands $5000 in license fees from each of them.
February 2026: Oracle contacts all TikTok users; demands $5000 in license fees from each of them.
Reposted by 🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
Reposted by 🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
I’m done dropping a review every time I take a breath. “How did we do?” Dear >insert store here<, “we” didn’t do anything. I found the item in the store, I checked myself out, I bagged my items. So the last thing *I* want to do when I get home is answer your damn survey! #EnoughAlready
December 18, 2025 at 3:19 AM
I’m done dropping a review every time I take a breath. “How did we do?” Dear >insert store here<, “we” didn’t do anything. I found the item in the store, I checked myself out, I bagged my items. So the last thing *I* want to do when I get home is answer your damn survey! #EnoughAlready
Reposted by 🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
see the thing about the holidays is that they’re the fucking holidays
December 17, 2025 at 6:52 PM
see the thing about the holidays is that they’re the fucking holidays
Reposted by 🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
santa came to the office christmas party and spanked my bare ass raw for attaching the wrong version of a spreadsheet
December 17, 2025 at 6:56 PM
santa came to the office christmas party and spanked my bare ass raw for attaching the wrong version of a spreadsheet
Reposted by 🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
How The Grinch Filled a Dedicated Water Cup with Sprite
December 17, 2025 at 4:36 PM
How The Grinch Filled a Dedicated Water Cup with Sprite
How The Grinch Brewed Coffee For The Office But Secretly Used Decaf
How The Grinch Filled a Dedicated Water Cup with Sprite
December 17, 2025 at 5:43 PM
How The Grinch Brewed Coffee For The Office But Secretly Used Decaf
Reposted by 🇨🇦 Todd Bee <🖕🍊>
I really hate that my phone automatically capitalizes Mac whenever I type Mac and cheese.
December 17, 2025 at 5:11 PM
I really hate that my phone automatically capitalizes Mac whenever I type Mac and cheese.