Patrick Hynes
@tphynes.bsky.social
Former roadie for the global elite.
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
renaming mar-a-lago "black lives matter, trans rights are human rights, and no human is illegal" and then getting mad when kid rock declines to perform there
December 30, 2025 at 7:44 PM
renaming mar-a-lago "black lives matter, trans rights are human rights, and no human is illegal" and then getting mad when kid rock declines to perform there
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
[watching a pro athlete drop a pass]
me: *eating spaghettios for dinner* “what a loser”
me: *eating spaghettios for dinner* “what a loser”
December 30, 2025 at 3:30 AM
[watching a pro athlete drop a pass]
me: *eating spaghettios for dinner* “what a loser”
me: *eating spaghettios for dinner* “what a loser”
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax https://theonion.com/tech-billionaires-threaten-to-flee-california-over-proposed-vest-tax/
December 29, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax https://theonion.com/tech-billionaires-threaten-to-flee-california-over-proposed-vest-tax/
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
[werner herzog voice] these prefabricated mortal pastries, dying for cheap spectacle
December 28, 2025 at 12:15 AM
[werner herzog voice] these prefabricated mortal pastries, dying for cheap spectacle
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
bluesky is where elder millennials enjoying internet retirement meet younger millennials with untreated depression
December 28, 2025 at 1:54 AM
bluesky is where elder millennials enjoying internet retirement meet younger millennials with untreated depression
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
“The Snoop Dogg Arizona Bowl sponsored by Fresh Pet” is a series of words Pynchon or DeLillo could only dream of.
December 27, 2025 at 10:22 PM
“The Snoop Dogg Arizona Bowl sponsored by Fresh Pet” is a series of words Pynchon or DeLillo could only dream of.
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
[Van Halen “Panama” voice] Panettone, Panettone
December 26, 2025 at 10:51 PM
[Van Halen “Panama” voice] Panettone, Panettone
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
“The guy who made call of duty died crashing a Ferrari“ well yeah I think we can actually say that’s how he would’ve wanted to go in this case
December 23, 2025 at 3:26 PM
“The guy who made call of duty died crashing a Ferrari“ well yeah I think we can actually say that’s how he would’ve wanted to go in this case
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
A gritty reboot of ducktales where huey duey and louie help mine workers in south africa unionize and overthrow flintheart glomgold
December 23, 2025 at 2:31 PM
A gritty reboot of ducktales where huey duey and louie help mine workers in south africa unionize and overthrow flintheart glomgold
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
I’ve found it remarkably simple not to be in the same place as Jeffrey Epstein
December 18, 2025 at 9:37 PM
I’ve found it remarkably simple not to be in the same place as Jeffrey Epstein
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
Look a lot of people were at the Lucifer Foundation's annual Billionaire Vision Brunch in 2011. I didn't talk to all of them. Some of us just find the work the Lucifer Foundation does to be interesting.
December 18, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Look a lot of people were at the Lucifer Foundation's annual Billionaire Vision Brunch in 2011. I didn't talk to all of them. Some of us just find the work the Lucifer Foundation does to be interesting.
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
if you went to an ivy league school and traveled out to LA with a pilot in the peak tv/streamers era and couldn't get a solitary job in a writers room you must have been an UNBELIEVABLY bad hang
December 16, 2025 at 6:21 PM
if you went to an ivy league school and traveled out to LA with a pilot in the peak tv/streamers era and couldn't get a solitary job in a writers room you must have been an UNBELIEVABLY bad hang
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
In the USA even the very wealthy old men must perform as gladiators until death in inhospitable outposts like Indianapolis in order to provide their children with medical care.
December 16, 2025 at 12:27 AM
In the USA even the very wealthy old men must perform as gladiators until death in inhospitable outposts like Indianapolis in order to provide their children with medical care.
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.
December 15, 2025 at 8:18 PM
this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
Among the weirdest social media users is Assumes Everybody's Tummy Is Fragile guy. You say "I went to Chipotle" and this guy is like OH YIKES YOU'RE GONNA DIE SHITTING ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR. No actually I'm gonna go for a jog. What are you, a time-traveling Victorian child
July 3, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Among the weirdest social media users is Assumes Everybody's Tummy Is Fragile guy. You say "I went to Chipotle" and this guy is like OH YIKES YOU'RE GONNA DIE SHITTING ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR. No actually I'm gonna go for a jog. What are you, a time-traveling Victorian child
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
Michael C. Rockefeller got shipwrecked in 1963, washed up on an island, and was promptly eaten by cannibals.
December 13, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Michael C. Rockefeller got shipwrecked in 1963, washed up on an island, and was promptly eaten by cannibals.
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
AI companies: We can't have 50 state AI laws. There has to be just one rulebook for AI
EU: Here you go
AI companies: not like that
EU: Here you go
AI companies: not like that
December 12, 2025 at 7:24 PM
AI companies: We can't have 50 state AI laws. There has to be just one rulebook for AI
EU: Here you go
AI companies: not like that
EU: Here you go
AI companies: not like that
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
GOD: if my commandments get 50,000 likes, i will tell Abraham to kill his son
December 11, 2025 at 7:24 PM
GOD: if my commandments get 50,000 likes, i will tell Abraham to kill his son
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
loath to be too precious about this stuff but I want one lesson of defector to be "you can choose to not do stuff that sucks" even if "doing stuff that sucks" is the default
December 11, 2025 at 9:27 PM
loath to be too precious about this stuff but I want one lesson of defector to be "you can choose to not do stuff that sucks" even if "doing stuff that sucks" is the default
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
Werewolves of London is a great song on its own but the “AHOOOOO” is the stroke of musical genius that sends it into the stratosphere
December 9, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Werewolves of London is a great song on its own but the “AHOOOOO” is the stroke of musical genius that sends it into the stratosphere
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
It really is like this every time he does something horrible to someone in the documentary and then seconds later
December 10, 2025 at 5:01 PM
It really is like this every time he does something horrible to someone in the documentary and then seconds later
Reposted by Patrick Hynes
One terrible thing John Fetterman has done is cast suspicion on any guy who wears basketball shorts all winter despite most of them being really cool and nice
December 10, 2025 at 3:59 AM
One terrible thing John Fetterman has done is cast suspicion on any guy who wears basketball shorts all winter despite most of them being really cool and nice