the zipper
@zipzipskins.bsky.social
"the" "zipper" | officially "late" 30s | any/none | writing, reading, music, games, puzzles, math, food, drinks | a small bird (lying about every part of that) | pfp by uncertaintycrossing
prices guy at the supermarket launching the third consecutive month of sale on celery
Dude working at GameStop said “We’re only putting stuff on sale that nobody wants” and I appreciate his honesty 💀
December 26, 2025 at 8:12 PM
prices guy at the supermarket launching the third consecutive month of sale on celery
ngl i dont give a damn about the kennedy center when this government is trying to completely unperson trans people
December 20, 2025 at 1:41 AM
ngl i dont give a damn about the kennedy center when this government is trying to completely unperson trans people
gonna take this moment to remind everyone that there is scarcely a more craven, deluded, self-serving, circle-jerking, miserable crop of responsibility-dodgers than the people who post on estranged parent forums
they're the lowest of the low. don't forget this
they're the lowest of the low. don't forget this
December 17, 2025 at 3:53 AM
gonna take this moment to remind everyone that there is scarcely a more craven, deluded, self-serving, circle-jerking, miserable crop of responsibility-dodgers than the people who post on estranged parent forums
they're the lowest of the low. don't forget this
they're the lowest of the low. don't forget this
Reposted by the zipper
Primary them all and block anybody who comes with the “at this crucial juncture the most important thing is that we win.” if they believed that they wouldn’t do this and with friends like them nobody needs enemies
Here are the 28 Dem Senators who voted to advance the first federal ban on trans athletes & a federal definition of sex that would make trans & intersex people non-existent: Angela Alsobrooks (MD), Tammy Baldwin (WI), Richard Blumenthal (CT), Lisa Blunt Rochester (DE), Chris Coons (DE), ->
By a vote of 76-23, S 1071 passes the motion to proceed to the motion to concur. Won't know who voted for this until the roll call is uploaded, but safe to say it passed with the support of at least 24 members of the Democratic caucus. (Rand Paul probably voted nay and Steve Daines has been absent).
December 16, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Primary them all and block anybody who comes with the “at this crucial juncture the most important thing is that we win.” if they believed that they wouldn’t do this and with friends like them nobody needs enemies
Mike's Hard Boiledeggs. (*sweats profusely, nervously checks the react-o-meter*) M- Mike's Hard Pill to S- Swallow
December 14, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Mike's Hard Boiledeggs. (*sweats profusely, nervously checks the react-o-meter*) M- Mike's Hard Pill to S- Swallow
Reposted by the zipper
“Yes,” said Frog, reaching for a cookie, “we need will power.”
“What is will power?” asked Toad.
“Will power is trying hard not to do something you really want to do,” said Frog.
“What is will power?” asked Toad.
“Will power is trying hard not to do something you really want to do,” said Frog.
December 10, 2025 at 5:37 AM
“Yes,” said Frog, reaching for a cookie, “we need will power.”
“What is will power?” asked Toad.
“Will power is trying hard not to do something you really want to do,” said Frog.
“What is will power?” asked Toad.
“Will power is trying hard not to do something you really want to do,” said Frog.
Reposted by the zipper
Cis people:
Oh you're just overreacting! No one would ever do that!
Oh it's not that bad, it's just a minor clarification!
Oh stop going on what rights have you really lost?
Oh well you shouldn't have been accepted in the first place.
Oh you never existed before 2015 anyway.
You never existed
Oh you're just overreacting! No one would ever do that!
Oh it's not that bad, it's just a minor clarification!
Oh stop going on what rights have you really lost?
Oh well you shouldn't have been accepted in the first place.
Oh you never existed before 2015 anyway.
You never existed
December 3, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Cis people:
Oh you're just overreacting! No one would ever do that!
Oh it's not that bad, it's just a minor clarification!
Oh stop going on what rights have you really lost?
Oh well you shouldn't have been accepted in the first place.
Oh you never existed before 2015 anyway.
You never existed
Oh you're just overreacting! No one would ever do that!
Oh it's not that bad, it's just a minor clarification!
Oh stop going on what rights have you really lost?
Oh well you shouldn't have been accepted in the first place.
Oh you never existed before 2015 anyway.
You never existed
Reposted by the zipper
Lord I see what You’ve done for others
But if the court finds OpenAI knowingly trained on pirated books and deleted the evidence to to avoid scrutiny, that could mean actual consequences to the tune of billions of dollars.
November 29, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Lord I see what You’ve done for others
Reposted by the zipper
ME: (shivering, stripped naked and tied to a chair) Drag queens have pretty privilege…
CIA AGENT: Again. Do another.
ME: Please, I can’t, I—
CIA AGENT: (dousing me with a bucket of ice water) Another take! Hotter!
ME: (sobbing) Dating someone who needs glasses is a predatory power imbalance…
CIA AGENT: Again. Do another.
ME: Please, I can’t, I—
CIA AGENT: (dousing me with a bucket of ice water) Another take! Hotter!
ME: (sobbing) Dating someone who needs glasses is a predatory power imbalance…
November 29, 2025 at 6:07 AM
ME: (shivering, stripped naked and tied to a chair) Drag queens have pretty privilege…
CIA AGENT: Again. Do another.
ME: Please, I can’t, I—
CIA AGENT: (dousing me with a bucket of ice water) Another take! Hotter!
ME: (sobbing) Dating someone who needs glasses is a predatory power imbalance…
CIA AGENT: Again. Do another.
ME: Please, I can’t, I—
CIA AGENT: (dousing me with a bucket of ice water) Another take! Hotter!
ME: (sobbing) Dating someone who needs glasses is a predatory power imbalance…
i mean when they named them peanuts. i mean. the people who did that. i mean look at it. you gotta wonder what they were thinking
November 29, 2025 at 3:50 AM
i mean when they named them peanuts. i mean. the people who did that. i mean look at it. you gotta wonder what they were thinking
Reposted by the zipper
Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷
November 26, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷
Reposted by the zipper
The feeling I felt watching was familiar but I couldn't place it for a few minutes....then I realised....I felt the way I feel when I'm at a party and Cards Against Humanity comes out.
Everything about this might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen
November 24, 2025 at 1:36 PM
The feeling I felt watching was familiar but I couldn't place it for a few minutes....then I realised....I felt the way I feel when I'm at a party and Cards Against Humanity comes out.
Reposted by the zipper
This really reticulates my splines
November 24, 2025 at 4:52 AM
This really reticulates my splines
i'm not taking that goddamned innocence test because people who know me might be surprised that ive lived my fucking life
November 24, 2025 at 5:02 AM
i'm not taking that goddamned innocence test because people who know me might be surprised that ive lived my fucking life
it's so quiet in here
November 23, 2025 at 1:34 AM
it's so quiet in here
it's a remarkable testament to the power of generative ai that it is making something as awful as advertising even worse
November 21, 2025 at 10:17 PM
it's a remarkable testament to the power of generative ai that it is making something as awful as advertising even worse
Reposted by the zipper
Breaking character: I am open to the idea the media's coverage of Biden's age and mental acuity was fair or perhaps not even tough enough. But the fact that it was so much tougher than the coverage of Trump's (more severe) mental decline is damning and I can't see how anyone could argue otherwise.
NYT isn’t worth reading because they are in the bag for Trump
November 21, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Breaking character: I am open to the idea the media's coverage of Biden's age and mental acuity was fair or perhaps not even tough enough. But the fact that it was so much tougher than the coverage of Trump's (more severe) mental decline is damning and I can't see how anyone could argue otherwise.
Reposted by the zipper
when a drej is being so Bob-phobic you gotta hit em with that cosmic castaway stare
November 21, 2025 at 4:20 PM
when a drej is being so Bob-phobic you gotta hit em with that cosmic castaway stare
help! the medication didnt make my kid a compliant automaton!
trying to start a moral panic and the stories are all like “the ADHD meds really helped but didn’t solve everything”
November 20, 2025 at 6:13 PM
help! the medication didnt make my kid a compliant automaton!
i think i should be allowed to spin very fast like a top or Bay Blade and jump very high like a cricket or the opposite of chunky kong. if they let me do it nobody could stop me
November 20, 2025 at 5:33 AM
i think i should be allowed to spin very fast like a top or Bay Blade and jump very high like a cricket or the opposite of chunky kong. if they let me do it nobody could stop me
Reposted by the zipper
dick and cock are synonyms
tail and butt are synonyms
cocktail and dickbutt are NOT synonyms
tail and butt are synonyms
cocktail and dickbutt are NOT synonyms
November 15, 2025 at 1:21 PM
dick and cock are synonyms
tail and butt are synonyms
cocktail and dickbutt are NOT synonyms
tail and butt are synonyms
cocktail and dickbutt are NOT synonyms
you're right and you should say it louder. i've been beating this drum for like fifteen years now
November 15, 2025 at 1:36 AM
you're right and you should say it louder. i've been beating this drum for like fifteen years now
Reposted by the zipper
Phantom Menace rewatch continues 🧵
Alright it's 7 AM and my computer's starting to act weird so I'm going to bed, later
November 12, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Phantom Menace rewatch continues 🧵