Someone explain the fine print, in terms a preschooler can understand...
That $50,000 sign up bonus for ICE agents is paid after 5 years of service. ICE will not last another 5 years…
Suckers! 😂
Suckers! 😂
January 13, 2026 at 7:48 AM
Someone explain the fine print, in terms a preschooler can understand...
I was amazed to find out that he could read, then realized that he can only read out loud, like he's sounding out the words, like a preschooler.
January 13, 2026 at 12:58 AM
I was amazed to find out that he could read, then realized that he can only read out loud, like he's sounding out the words, like a preschooler.
You're not going to find the special paper in the enormous size you can get sketch pads in, and in my experience, there is nothing a preschooler is more awed by than Giant Paper.
January 13, 2026 at 12:53 AM
You're not going to find the special paper in the enormous size you can get sketch pads in, and in my experience, there is nothing a preschooler is more awed by than Giant Paper.
That mom running by with her preschooler in her arms...
January 12, 2026 at 10:09 PM
That mom running by with her preschooler in her arms...
A floppy-disk-based physical controller lets a preschooler start specific streaming content by inserting labeled disks.
Save What Matters
Curate Feeds | Make Collections | Customize Email Briefs
briefly.co
January 12, 2026 at 9:49 PM
A floppy-disk-based physical controller lets a preschooler start specific streaming content by inserting labeled disks.
I've never even parented a preschooler and I still find all these various "absurd homework for your parents" things ridiculous.
If the kid's too young to manage their own "on Tuesdays we wear pink" situation, they're too young to do it; leave their parents in peace
If the kid's too young to manage their own "on Tuesdays we wear pink" situation, they're too young to do it; leave their parents in peace
In extremely low stakes outrage, my friend's daycare has declared that tomorrow is "everything but a bag!" day.
They're supposed to send the kids (babies! toddlers!) in with all their stuff in anything other than a bag.
They're supposed to send the kids (babies! toddlers!) in with all their stuff in anything other than a bag.
January 12, 2026 at 8:51 PM
I've never even parented a preschooler and I still find all these various "absurd homework for your parents" things ridiculous.
If the kid's too young to manage their own "on Tuesdays we wear pink" situation, they're too young to do it; leave their parents in peace
If the kid's too young to manage their own "on Tuesdays we wear pink" situation, they're too young to do it; leave their parents in peace
I got towels older than ICE; I used them to warm up a preschooler after swimming who is now a former federal employee/aspiring MSW
semi-regular reminder that ICE was only created in 2003
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
January 12, 2026 at 8:36 PM
I got towels older than ICE; I used them to warm up a preschooler after swimming who is now a former federal employee/aspiring MSW
My preschooler has better handwriting than me 🤣
January 12, 2026 at 8:32 PM
My preschooler has better handwriting than me 🤣
"Yes, my preschooler has been improvising sonatas at the piano for at least two years now, and he's just started reading chapter books and cooking Ottolenghi recipes on his own; how is Timmy doing?"
January 12, 2026 at 8:10 PM
"Yes, my preschooler has been improvising sonatas at the piano for at least two years now, and he's just started reading chapter books and cooking Ottolenghi recipes on his own; how is Timmy doing?"
I used to pull my preschooler around Seattle in a bike trailer attached to an old road bike with a traditional road double crankset. Lowest gear was 48×28.
Not to brag.
Not to brag.
January 12, 2026 at 6:31 PM
I used to pull my preschooler around Seattle in a bike trailer attached to an old road bike with a traditional road double crankset. Lowest gear was 48×28.
Not to brag.
Not to brag.
it’s the little moments that gut me. like standing there staring at boxes of Gogo Squeez pouches for your preschooler and thinking to yourself that the mom who was executed in broad daylight should be doing this very same thing today.
January 12, 2026 at 5:56 PM
it’s the little moments that gut me. like standing there staring at boxes of Gogo Squeez pouches for your preschooler and thinking to yourself that the mom who was executed in broad daylight should be doing this very same thing today.
My son got an autism dx at age 5, but no one thought anything about my daughter who I recognize now had many clear autistic traits as a preschooler (speech delay, sensory issues, difficulty with social dynamics in school, etc.). I had to fight to get her an ADHD dx when she was a teenager.
January 12, 2026 at 5:39 PM
My son got an autism dx at age 5, but no one thought anything about my daughter who I recognize now had many clear autistic traits as a preschooler (speech delay, sensory issues, difficulty with social dynamics in school, etc.). I had to fight to get her an ADHD dx when she was a teenager.
I was given the mental image of Creek holding the preschooler outfit too and I can't stop giggling about it
January 12, 2026 at 3:02 PM
I was given the mental image of Creek holding the preschooler outfit too and I can't stop giggling about it
I offered to make cookies but the family requested fluffy cinnamon rolls instead. When the preschooler strives enough to sound out an 11 letter word [kanelbullar] perfectly & without help, that’s a desire which ought to be fulfilled.
#baking #breadmachine
www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/perf...
#baking #breadmachine
www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/perf...
January 12, 2026 at 2:02 PM
I offered to make cookies but the family requested fluffy cinnamon rolls instead. When the preschooler strives enough to sound out an 11 letter word [kanelbullar] perfectly & without help, that’s a desire which ought to be fulfilled.
#baking #breadmachine
www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/perf...
#baking #breadmachine
www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/perf...
We got sweet light-up Justice League sneakers for my AFAB preschooler, and another kid told him superheroes were for boys. Well, that lit me a fire, but I calmly coached him to say that supes were for girls too. Anyway he went back and told that to the little boy. They played supes and all was well.
January 12, 2026 at 4:17 AM
We got sweet light-up Justice League sneakers for my AFAB preschooler, and another kid told him superheroes were for boys. Well, that lit me a fire, but I calmly coached him to say that supes were for girls too. Anyway he went back and told that to the little boy. They played supes and all was well.
That's the run of a preschooler that shit his pull-ups, not surprised to see it on a self described alpha male ice agent. Not surprised at all.
January 12, 2026 at 12:17 AM
That's the run of a preschooler that shit his pull-ups, not surprised to see it on a self described alpha male ice agent. Not surprised at all.
If I didn’t have enough self-awareness I would say as an almost 30-year old European woman this character in a show intended for Japanese preschooler girls is literally made for me
January 11, 2026 at 10:51 PM
If I didn’t have enough self-awareness I would say as an almost 30-year old European woman this character in a show intended for Japanese preschooler girls is literally made for me
I know I'm healthy because at almost 35 I fell from a standing position on the couch, and stepped onto a toy monster truck, crumbling to the floor and... Nothing is broken or hurts that bad.
I still used it as a lesson, at my expense, not to rough house to my preschooler.
I still used it as a lesson, at my expense, not to rough house to my preschooler.
January 11, 2026 at 8:46 PM
I know I'm healthy because at almost 35 I fell from a standing position on the couch, and stepped onto a toy monster truck, crumbling to the floor and... Nothing is broken or hurts that bad.
I still used it as a lesson, at my expense, not to rough house to my preschooler.
I still used it as a lesson, at my expense, not to rough house to my preschooler.
It IS true that my preschooler has better impulse control than ICE fuckwads
The message from the White House this morning is that, once again, it falls on ordinary American citizens to remain calm and professional when dealing with the heavily armed agents of the government because they are very emotional and might fly off into a murderous rage at the slightest insult.
January 11, 2026 at 4:26 PM
It IS true that my preschooler has better impulse control than ICE fuckwads
Toddler causing the preschooler much consternation by referring to his Iron Man plush as “Spider” 😂
January 11, 2026 at 2:06 PM
Toddler causing the preschooler much consternation by referring to his Iron Man plush as “Spider” 😂
nearly had a whole crash out meltdown assembling a cheap as fuck coffee table bc the directions looked they were made by a preschooler holy SHIT
January 11, 2026 at 4:08 AM
nearly had a whole crash out meltdown assembling a cheap as fuck coffee table bc the directions looked they were made by a preschooler holy SHIT
alt text: how to even describe this... a nonsensical conspiracy scene seemingly drawn in the style of a preschooler with explosions and klan members with angry business man, swastika america flags. A giant yellow yokai is shooting lasers all over, caption "tis is what libertarians actual belief"
January 11, 2026 at 12:10 AM
alt text: how to even describe this... a nonsensical conspiracy scene seemingly drawn in the style of a preschooler with explosions and klan members with angry business man, swastika america flags. A giant yellow yokai is shooting lasers all over, caption "tis is what libertarians actual belief"
I like your Bluesky name. I'm in San Antonio and was a preschooler when everyone came to stay for Hemisfair.
January 10, 2026 at 7:04 PM
I like your Bluesky name. I'm in San Antonio and was a preschooler when everyone came to stay for Hemisfair.
1. i've always thought of my little age as somewhere in the 3-5 range, but i also really like pacifiers and diapers and being nonverbal so i don't really treat it as a strict thing. i guess preschooler who failed pottty training and still likes some baby stuff?
January 10, 2026 at 4:01 PM
1. i've always thought of my little age as somewhere in the 3-5 range, but i also really like pacifiers and diapers and being nonverbal so i don't really treat it as a strict thing. i guess preschooler who failed pottty training and still likes some baby stuff?
He's a 79-year old with the attitude of a preschooler. Everything is "Mine! Mine! Mine!"
January 10, 2026 at 2:27 PM
He's a 79-year old with the attitude of a preschooler. Everything is "Mine! Mine! Mine!"