Author | Lightnews

unironic Starry Zero drinker

@chambraigne.com

200 followers 88 following 650 posts

This product is not for everyone. Only for those who buy, and choose to use, the product.

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unironic Starry Zero drinker @chambraigne.com · Nov 12

There she is, Bob. Brains!

unironic Starry Zero drinker @chambraigne.com · 21h

Awoōo

Capcom USA @capcomusa.com · 1d

We got more Halloween costume pitches in our inbox. We'll let them down easy...

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Kayin @kayin.moe · 1d

I'm so mad that this was actually just Saruman what the fuck this was supposed to be an off-brand wizard

Arif Hasan, but NFL🔨⚒️🛠️ @arif.bsky.social · 2d

I FOUND THE BOOK WITH THE ORB

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Joey Alison Sayers @joeyalison.bsky.social · 2d

There's a hole in the bottom of the trashcan and he grows underground like a big green ginger root. Jim Henson confided that in me before he died.

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Roborosewater Masters @roborosewaterm.bsky.social · 2d

Counteric Bau.
Submission by CocoaMix

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bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 2d

is it secret. is it safe. ohhh you’ve fucked me on this frodo. they are going to have my ass. i can’t lose this job

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unironic Starry Zero drinker @chambraigne.com · 2d

alright hold on. when the joker dehydrated the united nations, why is everyone’s dust bright neon colors

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Part Bear, part Fish, all Pie @bearfishpie.bsky.social · 2d

Happy birthday Cow Tools! Here’s Gary Larson explaining how it made him “want to crawl into a hole somewhere and die”

A page from Prehistory of the Far Side, explaining the reception to the strip. Copy/paste to the rescue:

The "Cow tools" episode is one that will probably haunt me for the rest of my life.
A week after it was published
back in 1982, I wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere and die.
Cows, as some Far Side readers know, are a favorite subject of mine. quintessentially absurd animal for I've always found them to be the situations even more absurd. Even the name "cow," to me, is intrinsically funny.
And so one day I started thinking back on an anthropology course I had in college and how we learned that man used to be defined as "the only animal that made and shaped
tools."
Unfortunately, researchers discovered that certain primates and even some bird species did the same thing—so the definition had to be extended somewhat
to avoid awkward situations such as someone hiring a crew of chimpanzees to remodel their kitchen.
Inevitably, I began thinking about cows, and what if they, too, were discovered as toolmakers.
What would they make? Primitive tools are always, well,
primitive-looking-appearing rather nondescript to the lay person. So, it seemed to me, whatever a cow would make would have to be even a couple notches further down the "skill-o-meter."
I imagined, and subsequently drew, a cow standing next to her workbench, proudly displaying her handiwork (hoofiwork?). The "cow tools" were supposed to be just meaningless artifacts- only the cow or a cowthropologist is supposed to know what they're used for.
The first mistake I made was in thinking this was funny. The second was making one of the tools resemble a crude handsaw-which made already confused people decide that their only hope in understanding the cartoon meant deciphering what the other tools were as well. Of course, they didn't have a chance in hell.
But, for the first time, "Cow tools" awakened me to the fact that my profession was not fust an isolated exercise in the corner of my apartment.

at
"Cow tools." Someone sent me the front page of one newspaper
3 B14.)" T was mortified.
which, down in one comer, ran the tease, "Cow Tools: What does it mean? See In the first year or two of drawing The Far Side, I always believed my carter perpetually hung by a thread. And this time I was convinced it had been finally
severed.
Tenically, when the dust had finally seuled and as a result of aft
"aise" it made,
"Cow tools" became more of a boost to The Far Side than
ayahing else.
so, in summary. I drew a really weird, obtuse cartoon that no one understood edwasn't funny and therefore I went on to even greater success and recognition.
Yeah—T like this country.
"The Far Side, a single-panel cartoon by Gary Larson, obviously went too far to the side some time af0 and threw great chunks of the populace into panalto confusion." - Newspaper Columnist, Chicago
"Tasxed 37 people to explain the 'Cow tools' (cartoon) of last weok but with
D0 luck. Could you help?* -Reader, Califomia
"Enclosed is a copy of the 'Cow Tools' cartoon. I have passed it around. I bave posted it on the wall. Conservatively, some 40-odd professionals with detoral degrees in disparate disciplines have examined it. No one understands it. Even my 6-year-old cannot figure it out...We are going bonkers.
Please help. What is the meaning of 'Cow Tools'? What is the
meaning of life?
-Reader, Texas
'We give up. Being intelligent, hard-working men, we don't often say this, but your cartoon has proven to be beyond any of our intellectual capabilities.
•..Is there some significance to this cartoon that eludes us, or have we been completely foolish in our attempts to unravel the mystery behind 'Cow Tools'?" -Reader, California

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dendy crew @dendycrew.com · 2d

i want america to be this crazy about literacy

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Ed Boooooo-mila @edburmila.bsky.social · 4d

Kudos to the guy in my fantasy football league who chose the team name explicitly to set up this joke

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Cian @witchcian.bsky.social · 4d

LUCASARTS PRESENTS
Columbo in:
SCUMM of the Earth
#pixelart

a pixel art scene of Columbo doddering around rendered in a style reminiscent of LucasArts' Point and Click adventure games. Columbo is looking at a dog resting on the ground, with the inspect dialogue: "You're a real friendly boy aren't you? Oh, you're a girl." In his inventory is a cigar, an egg, some sunflower seeds and some dog treats.

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bakoon @bakoon.bsky.social · 4d

polymarket has partnered with chan zuckerberg hospital for new maternity program where fathers can bet on whether the child is born head or foot first, stillborn etc. winners get reduced hospital fee, loser babies go up for auction the next day on a metaverse storefront

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unironic Starry Zero drinker @chambraigne.com · 4d

men fear the labubu because there is an innate recognition that those are dick splitting teeth and i do not want my junk destroyed by the creature

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Nate @crows.bsky.social · 4d

I just want a fuckign cupcake man

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Cats with Jobs ⚒️ @catworkers.bsky.social · 6d

Architect's assistant.

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unironic Starry Zero drinker @chambraigne.com · 6d

you arrive at the amazon side business nexus

everybody into the pool. or nobody. that’s cool too

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unironic Starry Zero drinker @chambraigne.com · Aug 19

Bare minimum for holding a conversation:CHiPs, Banjo, Punch, Batmantis, Hungry, Fire Drill, Urges, Switcheroo, Jacksonville, Edelweiss, Mayonnaise, Brilliant Number One, Piledriver, Lawsuit, Warren, Chambraigne, Snatch, Kentucky Knightmare, Knifin Around, Flipmode, In Memory of Elizabeth Reed,Dreams

Daniel Kennedy @fliglman.bsky.social · Aug 16

going to go out on a limb and imagine this guy's not actually very good at conversations

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unironic Starry Zero drinker @chambraigne.com · 6d

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lydelle buster @babyshoes4cash.com · 6d

press F to poaljxy reopseot

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unironic Starry Zero drinker @chambraigne.com · 6d

zort

unironic Starry Zero drinker @chambraigne.com · 6d

“how is ur cookies sunny side up”

Author Myron J. Clifton @deardean22.bsky.social · 7d

The photo:

The comments you will laugh at:

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unironic Starry Zero drinker @chambraigne.com · 6d

thought it was kinda weird that everyone was so into this stuff but i went along with it. turns out i’ve been going to ScatGPT the past 3 years. whoops!

unironic Starry Zero drinker @chambraigne.com · 7d

dual wielding the ketchup and mayo titties onto my fries while making phbhbphpbphpht noises

Bethany Brookshire @beebrookshire.bsky.social · 8d

I have been traveling and today I present to you...the thing I saw in the Frankfurt airport.

Is it efficient? Undeniably. Does it probably work better than the normal way? Oh certainly. Produce less of a mess? Probably?

But the existence of Condiment Udders gives me a deep, aghast disquiet.

A hotdog and pretzel stand with large hanging bottles of mustard, ketchup, and mayonnaise. The bottoms contain squeeze tubes to dispense the condiments.

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Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social · Dec 15

It has been a, uh, difficult week but I have not laughed louder and harder at something in a very long time than at this.

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PlayStation Park @playstationpark.bsky.social · 8d

Spot The Chunk Loading
'Jet Moto'
PlayStation

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jawbroken @jawbroken.bsky.social · 9d

cat is radioactive

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