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Gian D’Oh

@giandoh.bsky.social

2.9K followers 810 following 2.3K posts

Chronic masticator. My Inanities: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3k6pticv2dusa7t3xjwmd56n/feed/aaafkkulmi2pq My “Music”: https://youtube.com/@giandoh1427?si=0DNr9IffmIn4tqT5

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Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · Jan 25

This is the dumbest apocalypse.

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 11h

The dough rises in the yeast.

-my kid actually said that at 5yrs old. Not too shabby!

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Adam @adamurb.bsky.social · 20h

Me: Are you ready for my cavity search?

Dentist: please stop calling it that

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Frank Conniff @frankconniff.bsky.social · 2d

Antifa, like Steely Dan, is not really a group.

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 1d

His beard was like a temper tantrum. Her breath was better than her playlist. They made love in the Kohl’s parking lot.

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Django Wexler @djangowexler.bsky.social · 1d

My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking?

Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 1d

Got kicked out of my work’s holiday party planning committee for suggesting the theme be “man’s inhumanity to man”

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · Apr 4

Someone who does a good Putin impersonation, call up the White House and tell him to stop with all the tariffs

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · May 30

[Sex Shop]

Me: *holding 37 dildos*

Shopkeeper: may I help you?

Me: where are the fitting rooms?

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 1d

They should give Trump the piece prize…

… because he’s a real piece of fucking work.

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 1d

The mass of men lead lives of loud desperation.

-Thoreau, on social media

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 1d

What do you mean those weren’t edible underpants?!

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 2d

Man I can’t process any of this bullshit and now you want me to wear pants?

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 2d

The options include:
1) Upside-down
2) In coffins
3) They don’t because they’re nocturnal

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 2d

My other car is a CPAP machine I found in the alley.

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 2d

🤣🤣🤣

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

redherringbear @qutzupalotl.bsky.social · Nov 20

I before E, because fuck E.

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

redherringbear @qutzupalotl.bsky.social · Nov 18

I don’t know about you, but I am TERRIBLE with names!

Just ask my children, Griselda and Aloysius.

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 2d

I get by with a little help from my phone

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 2d

Pfizer is using The Ramones’ “Blitzkrieg Bop” for vaccine ads because nothing says preventative healthcare like

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 2d

Maybe I hate shopping because only that and shootings occur in sprees.

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · Jun 3

I have nothing in common with people who "forget to eat".

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 3d

Let’s meet at the sand-pit. We’ll listen to REO Speedwagon unironically and drink Boone’s Farm until we see balloons

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 3d

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets up from their desk whether their teacher is mid-thought or not.

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 3d

The ends justify the burnt