a few small beers
@atomicgiant.bsky.social
1K followers 920 following 4.8K posts
alex gradet // he/him writer/producer/director/editor for hire gradet.com // fivegreatminutes.substack.com i could be smoking a joint and watching jan de bont's "speed" on dvd, yet i am here. Слава Україні // йди на хуй Краснов
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atomicgiant.bsky.social
HI NEW FOLLOWERS!

A few things about me:

1. My feed is my cocktail party, act right or get blocked
2. Trans rights are human rights
3. Nazis can eat shit
4. I once highfived Joseph Gordon Levitt at the SNL afterparty
5. I’m open to work for yr writing/directing/producing/editing needs (gradet.com)
gradet.com
gradet.com
atomicgiant.bsky.social
You wish to have the curse reversed?
I’ll need a certain potion first!
Go to the wood and bring me back:
One: the apple bottom jeans
Two: the boots with the fur
Three: the baggy sweatpants
Four: the Reeboks with the straps!
atomicgiant.bsky.social
Bc he doesn’t want victory, he wants subservience.
atomicgiant.bsky.social
It's probably 𝐂𝐎ol that the fine 𝐔𝐏stan𝐃in' g𝐄nerals who were at 𝐓h𝐀t Hegseth 𝐓alk last week aren't getting paid rn.
atomicgiant.bsky.social
Me (nonchalantly leaning against the giant cardboard headshot discs from the 1978 tokyo star wars marquee in the middle of my living room that I've hastily covered with a tarp):

Uh, I think if I'd *invented time travel* I'd tell people about it.
atomicgiant.bsky.social
No YOU thought that was a bigass t-rex at first glance
atomicgiant.bsky.social
1 From Dusk Till Dawn
2 Rosemary's Baby
3 Phantom of the Paradise
4 X
5 Hausu
6 Saloum
atomicgiant.bsky.social
Brain: You know what you need to do next --
Me: oh god not you too, i just woke up
Brain: 𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘳𝘺?
Me: come on, not --
Brain: ROZ AL GHUL
atomicgiant.bsky.social
brb building a gundam that’s just an 80’ david byrne suit
atomicgiant.bsky.social
Big fan. Haven’t been in a minute.
atomicgiant.bsky.social
Brain: Time to close the laptop for the night.
Vape Pen: Dr. Frasier Bane.
Brain: Come on, my eyes are exhausted--
Vape Pen: DR. FRASIER BANE.
atomicgiant.bsky.social
Bonkers way to do an admin reveal, Thomas Pynchon.
atomicgiant.bsky.social
I adore Rian Johnson but have to stay suspicious bc he has, to date, directed the final onscreen appearances of Angela Lansbury, Stephen Sondheim, Maximilian Schell & Christopher Plummer, now I'm not suggesting foul play, but who would ever suspect the guy writing m*rder mysteries ...?
atomicgiant.bsky.social
Meanwhile, in the timeline where the Academy doesn't hate horror:
atomicgiant.bsky.social
I'm putting together a team
atomicgiant.bsky.social
Danceable?

Star Spangled Banner: Technically you could waltz to it, bc it's in 3/4 time, but *would* you?

Praise You by Fatboy Slim: Your honor, I'd like to present Exhibit Alpha and Motherfucking Omega, the defense rests.
atomicgiant.bsky.social
Written by:

Star Spangled Banner: Francis Scott Key owned slaves

Praise You by Fatboy Slim: Seeing how he's been a famous white man for 30 years, the fact that Norman "Fatboy Slim" Cook doesn't have any allegations on him should be considered a goddamn miracle.
atomicgiant.bsky.social
Word Count:

Star Spangled Banner: 80 (and that's just the words we sing at sporting events), in a confusingly-phrased tangle of questions and statements.

Praise You by Fatboy Slim: 28, in three declarative sentences.
atomicgiant.bsky.social
Singable Melody:

Star Spangled Banner: ❌

Praise You by Fatboy Slim: Try *not* singing it