Gatsby that is Average
@averagegatsby.bsky.social
No fucking idea, and couldnt give a shit less either.
Genuinely curious: If your family is American, what brought them here?
Mine: religious nuttery & primogeniture
Mine: religious nuttery & primogeniture
February 3, 2026 at 12:17 AM
No fucking idea, and couldnt give a shit less either.
Is it okay to hate my neighbor purely because he had a sweet gum tree just on his side or the property line?
January 24, 2026 at 5:22 PM
Is it okay to hate my neighbor purely because he had a sweet gum tree just on his side or the property line?
Reposted by Gatsby that is Average
Oh, but when *I* go to bars and ask women to squat me I’m a creep. Smdh
I was teetering before but now I’m ready to say it: I’m full Jags-pilled.
January 5, 2026 at 6:47 PM
Oh, but when *I* go to bars and ask women to squat me I’m a creep. Smdh
Few things will ruin your day like getting kicked off a ride at a theme park for being too fat.
January 3, 2026 at 9:44 PM
Few things will ruin your day like getting kicked off a ride at a theme park for being too fat.
Nothing will prepare you for seeing Mike Lindell in the wild
January 1, 2026 at 8:50 PM
Nothing will prepare you for seeing Mike Lindell in the wild
Reposted by Gatsby that is Average
oh christ look at the time
December 12, 2023 at 9:21 PM
oh christ look at the time
Reposted by Gatsby that is Average
Reposted by Gatsby that is Average
me and my boys on the way to get 78 DUIs in one night
This looks like a group that tours with Morgan Wallen
December 20, 2025 at 3:33 PM
me and my boys on the way to get 78 DUIs in one night
The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go.
Well this is fucking terrifying...
Well this is fucking terrifying...
December 19, 2025 at 5:30 PM
The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go.
Well this is fucking terrifying...
Well this is fucking terrifying...
If I were somehow the next president, I'd undo all the dumb shit that Trump has done. I'd change the Department of War back to the Department of Defense. I'd get rid of all of his tacky gold shit. I'd plant a new rose garden... And I would name every toilet after him.
December 19, 2025 at 4:47 AM
If I were somehow the next president, I'd undo all the dumb shit that Trump has done. I'd change the Department of War back to the Department of Defense. I'd get rid of all of his tacky gold shit. I'd plant a new rose garden... And I would name every toilet after him.
I haven't gotten around to seeing it yet, but was Rob Reiner was the drummer in Spinal Tap 2?
December 15, 2025 at 11:23 PM
I haven't gotten around to seeing it yet, but was Rob Reiner was the drummer in Spinal Tap 2?
Reposted by Gatsby that is Average
I've been laughing at this all day. All three of these people nailed it. 10/10, no notes.
December 13, 2025 at 5:16 PM
I've been laughing at this all day. All three of these people nailed it. 10/10, no notes.
People say Paul Rudd never ages, but i think people should say Steve Buschemi never ages... dude has looked 65 for 25 years.
December 13, 2025 at 4:53 AM
People say Paul Rudd never ages, but i think people should say Steve Buschemi never ages... dude has looked 65 for 25 years.
I really wish for a slow painful death to the horrific monsters that unleashed elf on a shelf on the world.
December 12, 2025 at 2:10 PM
I really wish for a slow painful death to the horrific monsters that unleashed elf on a shelf on the world.
You will be visited by 3 spirits.
December 9, 2025 at 1:09 PM
You will be visited by 3 spirits.
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Me (a ventriloquist): what’s your favourite games console
My dummy:
My dummy:
December 8, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Me (a ventriloquist): what’s your favourite games console
My dummy:
My dummy:
Yeah... this checks out
December 3, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Yeah... this checks out
Is this a lot? It doesn't feel like a lot.
@averagegatsby.bsky.social has swears! They've used 177 profanities in their last 715 posts.
🥇 "fucking" (58 times)
🥈 "shit" (25 times)
🥉 "fuck" (20 times)
🥇 "fucking" (58 times)
🥈 "shit" (25 times)
🥉 "fuck" (20 times)
November 30, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Is this a lot? It doesn't feel like a lot.
How much of a foul mouthed degenrate am I? @profanity.accountant
November 30, 2025 at 12:24 AM
How much of a foul mouthed degenrate am I? @profanity.accountant
You can take the Pope out of Southie... but you cant take the Southie out of the Pope.
November 29, 2025 at 2:06 PM
You can take the Pope out of Southie... but you cant take the Southie out of the Pope.
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Finally getting some theological clarity on the ethics of reclining in one’s plane seat
November 29, 2025 at 12:13 PM
Finally getting some theological clarity on the ethics of reclining in one’s plane seat
5 concerts I’ve seen:
- Black Sabbath
- Metallica
- Huey Lewis and the News
- tool
- Deftones
- Black Sabbath
- Metallica
- Huey Lewis and the News
- tool
- Deftones
5 concerts I’ve seen:
- Rage Against The Machine
- Tom Petty
- moe.
- Eric Clapton
- New Kids on the Block
- Rage Against The Machine
- Tom Petty
- moe.
- Eric Clapton
- New Kids on the Block
5 concerts I’ve seen
Marty Stuart
Rancid/Bad Religion
Dwight Yoakum and Willie Nelson
Nelly Furtado
The Pogues
Marty Stuart
Rancid/Bad Religion
Dwight Yoakum and Willie Nelson
Nelly Furtado
The Pogues
November 28, 2025 at 1:41 PM
5 concerts I’ve seen:
- Black Sabbath
- Metallica
- Huey Lewis and the News
- tool
- Deftones
- Black Sabbath
- Metallica
- Huey Lewis and the News
- tool
- Deftones
Reposted by Gatsby that is Average
Any truth to the rumor that Harrison Butker is wearing NAMBLA cleats this weekend?
November 23, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Any truth to the rumor that Harrison Butker is wearing NAMBLA cleats this weekend?