Ben
@benbartlett.bsky.social
740 followers 410 following 5.2K posts
Aging nerd, office drone and recovering librarian. TTRPGs, retrofuturism, gushing about Pratchett and increasingly radicalised political takes. Please ignore my bad posts, unless they made you mad, in which case know that I meant every word.
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benbartlett.bsky.social
Me quietly reading this like 'Wait, those AREN'T normal you?'
benbartlett.bsky.social
His Knife Floor Room was the best part because it meant he had to spend 45 minutes arranging them or do it once and tiptoe in and out of the room every time he wanted to lie on the floor for a good ol' mirthless chuckle
benbartlett.bsky.social
The second guy might be a young Tory but already looks like he doesn't get unsupervised access to the kids
benbartlett.bsky.social
A slight amendment: Considering that a commoner has 4 hit points and the average person can lose 2000-2500ml before dying, I'd estimate about 500ml of blood per hit point, meaning a 20th-level barbarian can have about 165 litres of blood in him
benbartlett.bsky.social
Turns out there's a very good reason the cap guy is trying to hide his face from the camera
Photograph of a young white man wearing a blue 'Make Britain Great Again' baseball cap. He looks like a nervous sixth former who spent all year campaigning to be Head Boy but didn't get it because he got caught wanking under the desk.
benbartlett.bsky.social
He has a special function on his TARDIS that tracks the location of every school throughout time and space because he's not allowed to materialise within 200 yards of one
benbartlett.bsky.social
You never see her hanging out with Haim anymore so she should unequip them from her inventory and switch them out for The Last Dinner Party so she can benefit from the discourse buffs. Maybe add the singer from Maneskin who went trad to her loadout.
benbartlett.bsky.social
Ooooh, I can see Forged in the Dark working fairly well for this
benbartlett.bsky.social
A whole class of masculinity influencers yelling at you to do the carnivore diet and free bleed.
benbartlett.bsky.social
Watching Air Bud and having to reluctantly respect his hoop game even though I agree with the other team that a dog should not be permitted to play basketball
benbartlett.bsky.social
I saw someone saying that people can still enjoy media that they don't agree with and sure, ok. I can't think of many pieces of media I've enjoyed, however, that are vehemently opposed to every aspect of my personal morality and philosophy however.
benbartlett.bsky.social
Pretty Normal Activity
benbartlett.bsky.social
I... I think I'm too baffled to be properly infuriated
benbartlett.bsky.social
This is incredible, it's a better rip of Wes Anderson than the tiktoks that were explicitly trying to copy him
declouxj.bsky.social
What if Wes Anderson made the 10th entry in a DTV action series?

The answer is SNIPER G.R.I.T. (2023)
Reposted by Ben
ultrabrilliant.xyz
The Japanese Mario 64 official strategy guide is an incredible thing. "Can we make little hand-made dioramas of all the levels?" "Sure, why the hell not."
A model of the first level from Mario 64. A model of a snowy level from Mario 64.
benbartlett.bsky.social
Is 400 their combined prison sentence?
benbartlett.bsky.social
Don't worry Jamie, even if you're getting older you'll always be sexy to me
benbartlett.bsky.social
I'm just wondering what aspect of the ships he'd object to. Like we know he doesn't have a problem with age gaps
benbartlett.bsky.social
Which idiot showed him a Zumwalt?
factpostnews.bsky.social
Trump: I'm not a fan of some of the ships you do. I'm a very aesthetic person and I don't like some of the ships you're doing, aesthetically.
benbartlett.bsky.social
I hear she has enormous... ratings.
benbartlett.bsky.social
Oh so you want him to become Carrie? You want him to develop telekinetic powers and use them to murder a school full of students on prom night? You think murdering schools full of children is good?
benbartlett.bsky.social
Is it being out of touch, or is that genuinely the best they can do? I mean it's not like a Tom MacDonald alternative halftime show is going to get anything but laughed at
benbartlett.bsky.social
Ma'am that is not a family that is the Hellraiser and Friday 14th franchises added together, reboots included