Bob Gurnett
@bobgurnett.com
An adult man who still refers to himself as "a nice boy." Brooklyn Comedian. NBA free agent.
Pinned
Bob Gurnett
@bobgurnett.com
· Nov 24
Every conservative on Twitter: "Elon Musk has all these leftists so TRIGGERED they had to go to their safe space on bluesky! You can hear them REEEing from here!"
Everyone on Bluesky: "Jon Bon Jovi's full name is Jonathan Bonathan Jovi."
Everyone on Bluesky: "Jon Bon Jovi's full name is Jonathan Bonathan Jovi."
Reposted by Bob Gurnett
Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
January 21, 2026 at 2:36 PM
Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Listen, I'm gonna wake up and he won't be dead, but I'm going to go to sleep thinking he might be and that's gonna be nice.
January 21, 2026 at 6:44 AM
Listen, I'm gonna wake up and he won't be dead, but I'm going to go to sleep thinking he might be and that's gonna be nice.
Reposted by Bob Gurnett
Stephen Miller and JD Vance are inseparable from President Donald Trump at Davos this year. Constantly tightly flanked by his two closest advisors, he’s sporting a fashionable new pair of sunglasses and looking healthier than ever
January 21, 2026 at 5:50 AM
Stephen Miller and JD Vance are inseparable from President Donald Trump at Davos this year. Constantly tightly flanked by his two closest advisors, he’s sporting a fashionable new pair of sunglasses and looking healthier than ever
Trump and his team showing up at Davos.
January 21, 2026 at 4:39 AM
Trump and his team showing up at Davos.
Is tonight the night?
INBOX: Air Force One (tail number 29000), which was carrying President Trump from Washington, D.C. to Davos, Switzerland, appears to be turning back. (h/t @PollTracker2024/X)
globe.adsbexchange.com?icao=adfdf9
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January 21, 2026 at 4:12 AM
Is tonight the night?
Not to be alarmist, but this is how concentration camps become death camps. It is the first step. You let the sick die and when you mistreat people in confinement for long enough, "the sick" eventually contains everyone.
1. ICE has STOPPED PAYING for medical treatment for its 73,000 detainees
ICE has not paid its bills to 3rd party providers since OCTOBER and the situation will likely persist for MONTHS, a Popular Information investigation reveals
Meanwhile, critically ill ICE detainees are not receiving care
🧵
ICE has not paid its bills to 3rd party providers since OCTOBER and the situation will likely persist for MONTHS, a Popular Information investigation reveals
Meanwhile, critically ill ICE detainees are not receiving care
🧵
ICE has stopped paying for detainee medical treatment
ICE halted payments in October, and the situation will persist for at least several more months
popular.info
January 20, 2026 at 6:04 PM
Not to be alarmist, but this is how concentration camps become death camps. It is the first step. You let the sick die and when you mistreat people in confinement for long enough, "the sick" eventually contains everyone.
Everyone's parents own an entire city block worth of homes. This normal, middle class behavior.
Bessent: "Someone, maybe your parents for their retirement have bought 5, 10, 12 homes."
January 20, 2026 at 5:18 PM
Everyone's parents own an entire city block worth of homes. This normal, middle class behavior.
I always wonder how this stuff plays with normal people who don't know who this freak is and don't know why the US gov is talking about whole milk so much.
"Drink whole milk, you'll come in 5th place" is an incredible ad campaign.
January 20, 2026 at 4:49 PM
I always wonder how this stuff plays with normal people who don't know who this freak is and don't know why the US gov is talking about whole milk so much.
This is crazy because my stand up comedy career also faltered because it didn't have a wider adoption, and it is 100% the audience's fault and not mine for being bad at stand up.
AI boom could falter without wider adoption, Microsoft chief Satya Nadella warns
AI boom could falter without wider adoption, Microsoft chief Satya Nadella warns
Big tech boss tells delegates at Davos that broader global use is essential if technology is to deliver lasting growth
www.irishtimes.com
January 20, 2026 at 4:27 PM
This is crazy because my stand up comedy career also faltered because it didn't have a wider adoption, and it is 100% the audience's fault and not mine for being bad at stand up.
It is crazy because he wouldn't even have to play games. He'd have to simply look at the front store page of steam and remember what he saw. He can't even do that. Hell, just know what games won GOTY. Award season was like 3 weeks ago! His answers are Roblox and PUBG? Is he 12?
"What's your favourite Beatles album, then?"
"Tough one! I think I'd have to say... The Best of The Beatles"
"Tough one! I think I'd have to say... The Best of The Beatles"
January 20, 2026 at 3:55 PM
It is crazy because he wouldn't even have to play games. He'd have to simply look at the front store page of steam and remember what he saw. He can't even do that. Hell, just know what games won GOTY. Award season was like 3 weeks ago! His answers are Roblox and PUBG? Is he 12?
The result of stupid people being surrounded by Yes Men.
January 20, 2026 at 4:07 AM
The result of stupid people being surrounded by Yes Men.
If Da Pope makes the Bears win the Super Bowl, I think we have to just accept Catholicism is right and convert.
January 19, 2026 at 2:39 AM
If Da Pope makes the Bears win the Super Bowl, I think we have to just accept Catholicism is right and convert.
Lol, who sent them there? A mystery! Absolutely rules that they are burying this during a playoff football game on a long weekend. Not even pretending to be an independent news network anymore.
INSIDE CECOT – Sharyn Alfonsi speaks with some of the Venezuelans sent to CECOT, one of El Salvador's harshest prisons.
January 19, 2026 at 12:34 AM
Lol, who sent them there? A mystery! Absolutely rules that they are burying this during a playoff football game on a long weekend. Not even pretending to be an independent news network anymore.
Reposted by Bob Gurnett
The absolute accuracy of this.
January 18, 2026 at 10:23 PM
The absolute accuracy of this.
Reposted by Bob Gurnett
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
January 18, 2026 at 3:53 PM
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
There is no way Zuck could have known that when he read Snow Crash in college it was going to cost him 77 billion dollars.
At what point does losing 77 billion dollars impact a business? The global box office for all movies, put together, in total, all movies everywhere in 2025 was 33.5 billion dollars. He lost more than double that on “legs”
The division has lost over $77 billion since its inception in 2020.
January 18, 2026 at 4:02 PM
There is no way Zuck could have known that when he read Snow Crash in college it was going to cost him 77 billion dollars.
Reposted by Bob Gurnett
Amazing what ancient people built even though they were all skeletons
January 17, 2026 at 4:31 AM
Amazing what ancient people built even though they were all skeletons
Reposted by Bob Gurnett
The phrase "don't quit your day job" is so funny to me because, honey, I'm also bad at my day job.
January 16, 2026 at 7:07 PM
The phrase "don't quit your day job" is so funny to me because, honey, I'm also bad at my day job.
The phrase "don't quit your day job" is so funny to me because, honey, I'm also bad at my day job.
January 16, 2026 at 7:07 PM
The phrase "don't quit your day job" is so funny to me because, honey, I'm also bad at my day job.
He let slip a little preview of what they are planning for midterms. Declare any close race "corrupt" and refuse to recognize it. There are not clever men and really only have one or two moves.
Trump: They have to clean up their elections in New Mexico because those elections are so corrupt, it's incredible. If they clean it up, we win by a lot but they are really corrupt elections. One of the more corrupt states in terms of that.
January 16, 2026 at 4:28 PM
He let slip a little preview of what they are planning for midterms. Declare any close race "corrupt" and refuse to recognize it. There are not clever men and really only have one or two moves.
Every NFL coach who is about to get fired.
January 16, 2026 at 3:41 PM
Every NFL coach who is about to get fired.
It is cool when apps bombard you with notifications but then when you try to open them, they are like, "I couldn't possibly work without an update, I'm just a widdle guy." You seemed to work fine when you sent me 6 back to back push notifications at 730 am!
January 16, 2026 at 3:35 PM
It is cool when apps bombard you with notifications but then when you try to open them, they are like, "I couldn't possibly work without an update, I'm just a widdle guy." You seemed to work fine when you sent me 6 back to back push notifications at 730 am!
All this tells me is 1 in 5 people hate their family which sounds about right.
January 16, 2026 at 3:08 PM
All this tells me is 1 in 5 people hate their family which sounds about right.
Dear Traitors, I will NEVER want to purchase items inspired by the show.
January 16, 2026 at 2:41 AM
Dear Traitors, I will NEVER want to purchase items inspired by the show.
I know this is mean, but why are they all so... greasy?
No. 2 US ICE official Madison Sheahan leaving agency to run for Congress reut.rs/4qZMrk8
No. 2 US ICE official Madison Sheahan leaving agency to run for Congress
U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Deputy Director Madison Sheahan is leaving the agency and running for Congress, she said in social media posts on Thursday.
reut.rs
January 15, 2026 at 8:08 PM
I know this is mean, but why are they all so... greasy?