Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Colin Girth @bonuseruptus.bsky.social · 1h

Also, when someone snitches, your brother needs to be dating the manager who will be searching you, so you can sneak off to the bathroom and hide the rolls of quarters under your balls, where she won’t search.

Colin Girth @bonuseruptus.bsky.social · 1h

you find one that’s owned by a Christian couple, and they are most likely going to use 2046 as their safe code (the sign of the cross), then you have to be in 1996 when they didn’t have cameras everywhere, and be severely underpaid and resort to stealing rolls of quarters out of the safe.

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Colin Girth @bonuseruptus.bsky.social · 2h

2025 watch #845: Roofman (2025)

Definitely not the comedy they're marketing it as, but kind of touching and still funny, and resonated as someone who stole a LOT from both Toys R Us and McDonald's as a kid.

A man strolls through a Toys R Us he's living in at night, stealing toys for his daughter.

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Colin Girth @bonuseruptus.bsky.social · 2h

2025 watch #844: Ghostbusters (1984)

Perfect with an audience full of drunks, and the hosts comparing the ghost librarian to Diane Keaton drew groans of "too soon" and the woman next to me freaking out, because that's how she found out she died.

Four ghost hunters look scared as they deal with a Sumerian demigod on a NYC rooftop.

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Isi Baehr-Breen @isibb.bsky.social · 3d

Imagine being told you’re significantly less charming than Megan McCain.

Raw Story @rawstory.com · 4d

Bari Weiss, the incoming editor in chief of CBS News, once auditioned for a role on the hit daytime television show "The View," but tested so poorly with audiences that she "wasn't invited back," according to a new report.

CBS News' new boss once auditioned for 'The View' — and 'wasn't invited back': report

Bari Weiss, the incoming editor in chief of CBS News, once auditioned for a role on the hit daytime television show "The View," but tested so poorly with audiences that she "wasn't invited back," according to a new report. Variety reported on Tuesday that Weiss auditioned for "The View" when host Me...

bit.ly

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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 7h

Sorry 1 day lmao

A tweet from Donald Trump that reads “Don’t worry about China, it will all be fine! Highly respected President Xi just had a bad moment. He doesn’t want Depression for his country, and neither do I. The U.S.A. wants to help China, not hurt it!!! President DJT”

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onion person @junlper.beer · 17h

we need to abolish this shit

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geoffrey, 💀 mode @parsnip.bsky.social · 19h

antifa can stop to use laser to crash aircrafts

lolltt.bsky.social @lolltt.bsky.social · 19h

If no one likes him there is not fascism threat. Antifa can stop to use laser to crash aircrafts. Portland Hospital helicopters are now banned to fly for security concern and the most weak, the ills are suffering. And no, JK Rowling or Bill O'Really are not Nazi who deserve to die as Mark Bray said.

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Farm Goth 🇵🇸 @poemsandfungus.bsky.social · Aug 14

Me if I ever made any piece of art 1/10,000th as good as any single frame from Lawrence of Arabia:

Bart Simpson as a young kid with a saucepan on his head. He's running down the hallway, hitting a frying pan with a wooden spoon and shouting "I am so great! I am so great! Everybody loves me! I am so great!"

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👁🌻🦊⚙️⚓ Bob, Engineer, Pusher of Paper @navmecheng.bsky.social · 1d

> It is 2025 BC. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis

> It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis

Soldiers at the Bass Pro Shops pyramid in Memphis, TN.

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Colin Girth @bonuseruptus.bsky.social · 1d

Now seating:

Master Pancake: Ghostbusters (1984)
Roofman (2025)

Three ghost hunters look up as they aim energy weapons at a ghost

A man with a gun and inner tube with a stuffed bear on his shoulders strolls through a toy store

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a monster in bushwick @zombie-nyc.bsky.social · 1d

cool cool

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HerRoyalBOO👻bies @ourflagmeansbeth.bsky.social · 1d

This but an entire country’s economy lol

toddkramer.eth
@toddkramer1
I been hacked.
all my apes gone. this just sold please help me
11:10 PM • 12/29/21

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jenny_tightpants🪑 @jtp.bsky.social · 1d

do not forget to feed your troops

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零Rei @othiym23.bsky.social · 1d

how is LinkedIn so bad at being what it is

LinkedIn notification saying "Based on your recent search, you may want to follow Bill Gates."

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🎃 Ichaborbs Crane 🎃 @ronninator.bsky.social · 1d

Watching Prometheus and thinking about the hubris of assuming that the chance circumstances that overlapped to lead to humanity would be both intentional and that the original intent would be to love the product after several hundred years of change

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Daniel Kibblesmith @kibblesmith.com · 4d

This also 💯 has the vibes of those Facebook ad t-shirts that say stuff like

“MY WIFE IS A MAMA BEAR WITH A HUSBAND (WHO IS ME) AND SHE MIGHT BE A LITTLE CRAZY BUT SO AM I AND IF SHE EATS YOU THEY WILL NEVER FIND YOUR BONES I LOVE THAT B-WORD AND GOD IN THAT ORDER IT’S A DOUG THING TRY TO KEEP UP.”

the corgi from cowboy bebop @realqrampage.fightins.online · 6d

LMAO LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH
EVERY TIME I DO IT MAKES ME LAUGH

Kash Patel in his own merch looking fucking embarrassing as hell lmao

he’s so fucking ugly

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🎃 The Pantastic Mr. Pox 🦠 @mrfox.bsky.social · 1d

I could easily beat up kid rock and I've never thrown a punch in anger before

Ian Forsooth, I am smitten by your spooky name @ianfortey.bsky.social · 1d

Kid Rock has a habit of calling liberal women ugly but rarely addresses the facts that he appears to be the malnourished ghost of a skeleton's bug-eyed penis.

A shirtless, decrepit Kid Rock with a hat on and a wrist brace drinking a Busch Light beer with no shirt on and staring slightly off center the way only a hapless, addle-brained miscreant can

Another image of shirtless Kid Rock with his wrist brace and Busch light. He looks like someone put him on a bus but he doesn't know where it's going

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George Pearkes @peark.es · 1d

They like what Trump is doing, this really isn't hard. It's not both-sideism, it's running cover for the regime by choice in order to reach a desired outcome. Can we please stop cutting this institution slack it does not deserve?

David Corn @davidcorn.bsky.social · 1d

A classic case of irresponsible both-sidesism from the NYT. The story is that Trump and MAGA propagandists are lying about Portland to incite a conflict, not that there are different views of the matter.

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Dennis B. Hooper @dennisbhooper.bsky.social · 2d

June, 1993. I exhale loudly and pat my brow. The desert is punishingly hot but we’ve had a magnificent expedition so far. Specimens we never could have imagined, and the best possible team. Yet nothing makes me happier than the chance to share my work with my son. He’s struggling a bit at school, being bullied over his weight and so forth, and trying out a new, more combative personality. It’s not totally working, if I’m being honest, but I’m glad he’s asserting himself. In any case, science requires confidence, and Dr. Grant, our team leader, will make a marvelous role model. But wait, what’s this? I look over and see Dr. Grant giving some personal attention to my son! And he appears to be showing him a dinosaur claw! Incredible! I can already tell that this is going to be one of the best weeks of my son’s life

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The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 1d

“YOU hit HER.”

CHICAGO - Trump’s ICE goons ram into a passing car after snatching someone, then brutally drag the female driver of the car they hit out of her car with guns drawn and arrest her too. (Her brother says she’s a citizen)

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🌸Gretch🌸 @whothepuck.bsky.social · 1d

Logging on and seeing trans folks trying to throw teenagers experimenting with identities and sexualities under the bus

SpongeBob meme "wait you guys actually are still having queer discourse/infighting, I thought we've already established were all maggots in the eyes of the state"

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Mike Schuster @mcs212.bsky.social · 1d

Bakery: Here's a beautifully designed cake that we've been making for the past 60 years

Me: Cool, I'll take it!

Bakery: OK, here's the box that's too big on the sides and too short on the top that we've propped open -- just so you know, it will get damaged

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Mel Buer @melbuer.bsky.social · 1d

There are a number of accounts on Tiktok and IG that do extremely important work walking viewers through AI-generated slop videos like this and help them think critically about what they are seeing, how to spot it, etc. It’s a new era of critical media literacy instruction and I am happy to see it

Matt Novak @paleofuture.bsky.social · 1d

That TikTok account has a few fake videos of reporters getting detained. They make these videos because it’s a big story in the news. Real reporters are getting arrested. And so people are making AI videos to get engagement on TikTok.

dontbeonline • 1d ago
Journalist gets detained while doing her job #ForYou, #viral, #foryoupage, #tikto... more
• Contains: Bad Boys (The...

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Jason Adams @jamnpp.bsky.social · 1d

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world,... I feel like I can't take it. And my heart is just going to cave in.

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