Brian “Cannonball” Phares
@brianphares.bsky.social
Perfectly Cromulent English Teacher/Writer/Hot Dog/Comedian/Girl Dad
the cat is #Frank. the wife is Adrienne. the kid is Josephine
Signing autographs all over #ROC #FoodBlog
the cat is #Frank. the wife is Adrienne. the kid is Josephine
Signing autographs all over #ROC #FoodBlog
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
The woke scolds are trying to make this about racism. But Musk is right. It's about historical and scientific integrity. When the God of Thunder disguises himself as a swan to seduce and fuck a queen and the resulting baby hatches from an egg, *of course* the baby will be white. It's just science.
Elon Musk claims Christopher Nolan has lost ‘integrity’ over The Odyssey casting
Lupita Nyong’o is reportedly set to play Helen of Troy in Nolan’s upcoming adaptation of Homer’s epic poem
www.independent.co.uk
February 2, 2026 at 12:59 PM
The woke scolds are trying to make this about racism. But Musk is right. It's about historical and scientific integrity. When the God of Thunder disguises himself as a swan to seduce and fuck a queen and the resulting baby hatches from an egg, *of course* the baby will be white. It's just science.
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
Dark Woke is here
February 2, 2026 at 5:20 AM
Dark Woke is here
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
An NFL team can lose. (Trust me, I'm a Jets fan.)
But NFL owners are essentially guaranteed success — no matter how bad their team is, no matter how blatantly they disregard their fans, no matter how odious they are personally.
My feature for @prospect.org's Sports Issue!
But NFL owners are essentially guaranteed success — no matter how bad their team is, no matter how blatantly they disregard their fans, no matter how odious they are personally.
My feature for @prospect.org's Sports Issue!
The Permanent Overclass - The American Prospect
The NFL’s billionaire owners literally can’t lose when it comes to making money. On the field? That’s another matter.
prospect.org
February 2, 2026 at 2:58 PM
An NFL team can lose. (Trust me, I'm a Jets fan.)
But NFL owners are essentially guaranteed success — no matter how bad their team is, no matter how blatantly they disregard their fans, no matter how odious they are personally.
My feature for @prospect.org's Sports Issue!
But NFL owners are essentially guaranteed success — no matter how bad their team is, no matter how blatantly they disregard their fans, no matter how odious they are personally.
My feature for @prospect.org's Sports Issue!
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
Sight in San Francisco (from a friend)
February 1, 2026 at 7:26 PM
Sight in San Francisco (from a friend)
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
This Member of Congress finally got access to the Minneapolis detention center and her report is genuinely appalling. Please watch and share.
My office has been flooded with reports of the cruel, unsafe, unlawful conditions inside of the Whipple detention facility in Minneapolis.
This weekend, I was finally granted access to perform oversight of the facility. youtu.be/0SxPn8n2Bfg
This weekend, I was finally granted access to perform oversight of the facility. youtu.be/0SxPn8n2Bfg
Rep. Morrison details her oversight of the federal Whipple building
YouTube video by Rep. Kelly Morrison
youtu.be
February 2, 2026 at 12:47 AM
This Member of Congress finally got access to the Minneapolis detention center and her report is genuinely appalling. Please watch and share.
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life https://theonion.com/man-who-thought-fleetwood-macs-the-chain-was-over-in-for-thrill-of-his-fucking-life/
February 2, 2026 at 2:00 AM
Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life https://theonion.com/man-who-thought-fleetwood-macs-the-chain-was-over-in-for-thrill-of-his-fucking-life/
the "melania" premier was that bad, huh
Trump: "I have determined that the fastest way to bring The Trump Kennedy Center to the highest level of Success, Beauty, and Grandeur, is to cease Entertainment Operations for an approximately two year period of time, with a scheduled Grand Reopening that will rival and surpass anything."
February 2, 2026 at 1:08 AM
the "melania" premier was that bad, huh
they keep claiming the protesters are paid because they can't fathom doing something for free simply because you believe it's the right thing to do
Michele Tafoya pledges that if elected to the US Senate she will investigate who is paying the protesters in Minnesota
February 2, 2026 at 12:58 AM
they keep claiming the protesters are paid because they can't fathom doing something for free simply because you believe it's the right thing to do
I'm at the point now where I automatically assume anyone downplaying the significance of the epstein revelations are in the files themselves
The Twitter Files were the most scandalous and important documents ever but the ones about prominent politicians and members of the elite being pedophiles? Yawn
February 2, 2026 at 12:54 AM
I'm at the point now where I automatically assume anyone downplaying the significance of the epstein revelations are in the files themselves
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
For every retweet I will make Zuckerberg’s creep glasses 5% thicker
February 1, 2026 at 4:46 PM
For every retweet I will make Zuckerberg’s creep glasses 5% thicker
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
So an odd thing here is that if you say "an unidentified man dressed in a Batman costume" your point is to communicate "it is not really Batman" but the problem is that the real Batman, within the fiction of the comic book "Batman", is also, literally, an unidentified man dressed in a Batman costume
An unidentified man dressed in a Batman costume angrily confronted Santa Clara city officials during a joint meeting of the City Council, city authorities, and the Santa Clara Stadium Authority on Monday, using his public comment to condemn the city’s stance on cooperation with ICE.
January 31, 2026 at 9:52 PM
So an odd thing here is that if you say "an unidentified man dressed in a Batman costume" your point is to communicate "it is not really Batman" but the problem is that the real Batman, within the fiction of the comic book "Batman", is also, literally, an unidentified man dressed in a Batman costume
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
I think what both the second Trump administration and the Epstein files have taught us is that there’s very little need of covertness or secrecy if everyone with power pretends you aren’t doing what you’re doing when you openly tell them what you’re doing
January 31, 2026 at 2:13 PM
I think what both the second Trump administration and the Epstein files have taught us is that there’s very little need of covertness or secrecy if everyone with power pretends you aren’t doing what you’re doing when you openly tell them what you’re doing
it continues to amaze me that the online far-right invented an entire conspiracy involving secret codes and elaborate disguised messages to hide pedophiles when actually these clowns were using their real emails and saying how much they love fucking kids and wondering when they could do it again
January 31, 2026 at 6:06 PM
it continues to amaze me that the online far-right invented an entire conspiracy involving secret codes and elaborate disguised messages to hide pedophiles when actually these clowns were using their real emails and saying how much they love fucking kids and wondering when they could do it again
normal news day in america
January 31, 2026 at 5:54 PM
normal news day in america
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
Me: If I post any NSFW art I might lose job opportunities or even have my payment methods or bank accounts frozen
Every third dude in politics and tech: Hello Mister Pedophile may I request passage to Nubile Redhead Beach it seemed ever so interesting. Best Regards
Jeffrey Epstein: yea h / .,
Every third dude in politics and tech: Hello Mister Pedophile may I request passage to Nubile Redhead Beach it seemed ever so interesting. Best Regards
Jeffrey Epstein: yea h / .,
January 31, 2026 at 4:28 AM
Me: If I post any NSFW art I might lose job opportunities or even have my payment methods or bank accounts frozen
Every third dude in politics and tech: Hello Mister Pedophile may I request passage to Nubile Redhead Beach it seemed ever so interesting. Best Regards
Jeffrey Epstein: yea h / .,
Every third dude in politics and tech: Hello Mister Pedophile may I request passage to Nubile Redhead Beach it seemed ever so interesting. Best Regards
Jeffrey Epstein: yea h / .,
Playwriting
Fiction Writing Workshop
Logic
African-American Literature
Medical Ethics
double major, English & Philosophy
Fiction Writing Workshop
Logic
African-American Literature
Medical Ethics
double major, English & Philosophy
Tell me five classes you took in college:
Combinatorics
Japanese
British Lit
Ice skating
Programming
And left with a Comp Sci major and an English minor.
Combinatorics
Japanese
British Lit
Ice skating
Programming
And left with a Comp Sci major and an English minor.
Tell me five classes you took in college:
Chemistry
Developmental biology
Digital Computer Organization
Life and music of Beethoven
Artificial Intelligence
Chemistry
Developmental biology
Digital Computer Organization
Life and music of Beethoven
Artificial Intelligence
January 31, 2026 at 3:32 PM
Playwriting
Fiction Writing Workshop
Logic
African-American Literature
Medical Ethics
double major, English & Philosophy
Fiction Writing Workshop
Logic
African-American Literature
Medical Ethics
double major, English & Philosophy
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
An entire political movement founded on uncovering hidden messages in documents to discover the powerful secret pedophiles and meanwhile the powerful pedophiles out here sending gmails saying "Hi fellow pedophile when are we meeting to do pedophilia again"
Disgusting.
In an email on Sept. 11, 2013, Mr. Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin Group, wrote to Mr. Epstein, “It was really nice seeing you yesterday.” He added: “Any time you’re in the area would love to see you. As long as you bring your harem!”
www.nytimes.com/live/2026/01...
In an email on Sept. 11, 2013, Mr. Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin Group, wrote to Mr. Epstein, “It was really nice seeing you yesterday.” He added: “Any time you’re in the area would love to see you. As long as you bring your harem!”
www.nytimes.com/live/2026/01...
Live Updates: Millions of Pages of Epstein Documents Released
www.nytimes.com
January 31, 2026 at 11:47 AM
An entire political movement founded on uncovering hidden messages in documents to discover the powerful secret pedophiles and meanwhile the powerful pedophiles out here sending gmails saying "Hi fellow pedophile when are we meeting to do pedophilia again"
there’s no other president in the history of the country who could stay in office after the allegations revealed today, regardless of party. to just be accused of what trump is accused of would, and should, be career ending. it’s insane that there aren’t immediate bipartisan demands for resignation.
January 30, 2026 at 10:31 PM
there’s no other president in the history of the country who could stay in office after the allegations revealed today, regardless of party. to just be accused of what trump is accused of would, and should, be career ending. it’s insane that there aren’t immediate bipartisan demands for resignation.
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
I love working at the Department of Justice and participating in a conspiracy to cover up the demented 80 year old president's sex crimes. I spend 18 hours a day redacting documents and there's a putrid husk where my soul used to be
December 20, 2025 at 12:15 AM
I love working at the Department of Justice and participating in a conspiracy to cover up the demented 80 year old president's sex crimes. I spend 18 hours a day redacting documents and there's a putrid husk where my soul used to be
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
Not to get political, but America is very pretty and has a lot of nice folks making cool things, and I think if we had a president who wasn’t actively trying to murder us, we could have a pretty good time
January 30, 2026 at 9:31 PM
Not to get political, but America is very pretty and has a lot of nice folks making cool things, and I think if we had a president who wasn’t actively trying to murder us, we could have a pretty good time
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
There are 1400 mentions of DOGE founder Elon Musk in the Epstein files.
January 30, 2026 at 7:35 PM
There are 1400 mentions of DOGE founder Elon Musk in the Epstein files.
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
i think this is exactly right. fascism is the Death Drive as ideology. it's why the catastrophic end of the Nazi Party does not deter people from worshipping Nazis. that the Nazis destroyed Germany along with the rest of Europe is part of the appeal.
January 30, 2026 at 7:54 PM
i think this is exactly right. fascism is the Death Drive as ideology. it's why the catastrophic end of the Nazi Party does not deter people from worshipping Nazis. that the Nazis destroyed Germany along with the rest of Europe is part of the appeal.
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
Catherine O'Hara is as much of a "good in absolutely everything, no matter how good the thing itself was" actor as Philip Seymour Hoffman.
January 30, 2026 at 6:31 PM
Catherine O'Hara is as much of a "good in absolutely everything, no matter how good the thing itself was" actor as Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Reposted by Brian “Cannonball” Phares
I don't know whether it is the #1 Catherine O'Hara accomplishment but the fact that she invented a manner of speaking that no other person in human history has ever attempted for Schitts Creek and made it seem realistic that her character would talk that way felt like a comedy miracle to me
January 30, 2026 at 7:23 PM
I don't know whether it is the #1 Catherine O'Hara accomplishment but the fact that she invented a manner of speaking that no other person in human history has ever attempted for Schitts Creek and made it seem realistic that her character would talk that way felt like a comedy miracle to me