Author | Lightnews

Clara Thomas

@clarathomas.co

130 followers 340 following 5.8K posts

Formerly @WeakJoke on Twitter. Advocate for boring gays. Chicagoland sketch/improv comedy writer/performer. Striving for a greater degree of jocularity. 🏳️‍⚧️, she/her

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Clara Thomas @clarathomas.co · 28d

It's pretty!

Clara Thomas @clarathomas.co · Oct 1

So then I says to Mabel, I says-

Willow @rockshrimp.bsky.social · Oct 1

what's the stupidest/randomest Simpsons quote that lives in your head rent free? Mine is the urge to say "you said go to bread" every time I am about to head to bed.

Clara Thomas @clarathomas.co · Oct 1

VA emails have gone full Trump propaganda

As you may be aware, funding for some government agencies, including portions of the Department of Veterans Affairs, expired at midnight this morning.

President Trump opposes a lapse in appropriations, and on September 19, the House of Representatives passed, with the Trump Administration's support, a clean continuing resolution to fund the government through November 21. Unfortunately, Democrats are blocking this Continuing Resolution in the U.S. Senate due to unrelated policy demands.

During the current lapse in funding, the vast majority of VA benefits and services will continue uninterrupted, but the government shutdown is not without consequences to VA. Here is what you need to know:

Reposted by Clara Thomas

J. L. Westover @mrlovenstein.bsky.social · Sep 19

7 560 2.6K

Clara Thomas @clarathomas.co · Sep 19

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

If something were to happen to me, it'll never be "too soon" to politicize. Politicize it loudly and immediately.

Clara Thomas @clarathomas.co · Sep 18

Prepositions hit different

Clara Thomas @clarathomas.co · Sep 15

Despite the hormones coursing through my veins, the Emmys memorial didn't get me

But Stephen has me straight up sobbing

Reposted by Clara Thomas

The Onion @theonion.com · Sep 11

Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus

OREM, UT—As law enforcement officials search for a person of interest in the assassination of 31-year-old Turning Point USA co-founder Charlie Kirk, witnesses on the scene at Utah Valley University ad...

theonion.com

450 5.2K 26K

Clara Thomas @clarathomas.co · Sep 10

I very much prefer not to speculate. No good can come of that.

Reposted by Clara Thomas

Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack.bsky.social · Sep 10

To be clear, this is also political violence.

The Colorado Sun ☀️ @coloradosun.com · Sep 10

BREAKING: At least 2 students shot at Evergreen High School, Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office says

At least 2 students shot at Evergreen High School, Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office says

At least two students were shot Wednesday at Evergreen High School, the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office said. This is a developing story that will be updated.

coloradosun.com

17 240 1.2K

Clara Thomas @clarathomas.co · Sep 10

We need gun control. All of us.

Reposted by Clara Thomas

leon @leyawn.bsky.social · Sep 2

i met anubis in the realm of the underworld, big strong guy by the way, had a dog’s head, i’m not so sure about that. and he said to me, mr president, you’ve got the heaviest soul we’ve ever weighed down here. can you believe it? they’ve never seen a soul that heavy in all of duat