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Return of the Cmonstermacques

@cmonmaque.bsky.social

17K followers 1.7K following 23K posts

Un éléphant. Pour de vrai.

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 16d

With Al, no university will need to trouble themselves with pesky human students ever again. Instead they'll have Al students who are all sexy ladies with big juggs and 17 fingers. The men professors can dote on them and when they see a lady professor can shout "it's over for you!". It's a paradise

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 2h

JFK making his speech launching the space race

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 57m

“I did a good job” man you’re being openly bribed by MULTIPLE PARTIES

Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 57m

It’s so funny to me that America has a slew of powerful and high profile politicans that are just openly bought by foreign countries.

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 1h

I never say Eric failed. I’m always more like “sultan adams was as wise and as fair as Suleiman the great”

Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com · 16h

"What is it going to take before you drop your hate and say, 'Listen, the guy did the job!' I'm not running anymore, so you no longer have to do this whole charade. I turned the city around, folks—come on! ... Stop coming up with all of these creative ways of saying 'Eric failed.' Eric didn't fail."

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 9h

But it wasn’t the real McCoy. In fact it was an elaborate replica McCoy

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 1h

Specifically: Enron

Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 7h

Aren’t we all happy the government is now being run like a business?

Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 7h

Overseas American government employees are PISSSSED

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🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 2h

Elon: also infinite jest
Trump: infinite jest. is that what you said, infinite jest
Elon: infinite jest yeah
Trump: infinite jest

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 2h

My interview with Elon Musk and Donald Trump

Me: “I’m so happy both of you joined me today. To start things off I like to ask, what book are you reading?”

Trump: “The Bible. What can you say? It’s uh the ultimate”

Musk: *puts phone down* “confederacy of dances”

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Spice 💕 @spicedyde.bsky.social · 14h

🐶: “Very spooky! A corpse is a dead body.”

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 10h

I’d also be sure to make a pit stop in the 80’s

Jane Fonda workout with a red arrow pointing at a guy in the workout

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 2h

Intriguing stuff!

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meliss-AAAH! @mel.bzky.team · 2h

can i say something without everyone getting mad

CerberusXt @cerberusxt.bsky.social · 2h

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 10h

No joy, no TikTok!

Wade Gustafson in Fargo saying “no Jean, no money”

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 2h

“I’m a real imaginary ladies man”

Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 2h

Sharing AI videos for clout is like bragging about how many hot ladies you’ve jerked off to

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 9h

“You ever seen that Clint Eastwood movie where he’s going around getting in fights and chasing a chimpanzee?”

“Yes I’ve seen ‘in the line of fire’ but that’s not a very nice thing to say about John malkovich…”

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 7h

Me with an exploding metal contraption around my head trying to explain this situation to a passerby for help:

Me: Have you seen Saw?
Them: Have I scene Saw?
Me: Yes
Them: No, I saw Saw.
Me: What?
Them: I saw Saw. It has scenes.
Me: *head explodes*

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 5h

My idea to fix everything in our government is if America tried democracy, as a goof

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 4h

“This really broke my faith in America” - someone who has never once had faith in America

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 5h

Halloween is a fun time for children to dress up as ghosts and ghouls and goblins but it’s important to remember there are real monsters around at Halloween. Like children. And ghosts. And ghouls and goblins.

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 2h

It helps that I know very very little about chess lmao

Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 2h

Nobody saw that smothered mate coming

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 2h

Oh so we’re just forgetting about Bobby Fishers performance against Boris Spassky

Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 3h

Watching dressage all day, the only sport where at least once an hour an athlete will fully take a shit during their routine and it's just nbd.

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 3h

Watching dressage all day, the only sport where at least once an hour an athlete will fully take a shit during their routine and it's just nbd.

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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 2h

This is the best you’re ever gonna see from my account