Cory of House Pants
@corypants.bsky.social
Internet User, spoony bard, 100% brat on those BDSM quizzes, big “I love my pan wife” energy, comic books are neat, elder millennial, Appalachian expat, wishing for 4 day work week, he/they
Should be noted - Fox is all over this because it is the kind of story they pray for - to make sure the majority of their audience, the elderly, are constantly terrified with the thought that someone will break into their house and murder them. They NEED them terrified or the whole op goes down.
It almost seemed like Greg Gutfeld went out of his way to be as inappropriate as possible while discussing the alleged kidnapping of Nancy Guthrie, an 84-year-old grandmother. Fox News has made this story its number one focus now for two weeks.
February 11, 2026 at 1:44 AM
Should be noted - Fox is all over this because it is the kind of story they pray for - to make sure the majority of their audience, the elderly, are constantly terrified with the thought that someone will break into their house and murder them. They NEED them terrified or the whole op goes down.
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
I think this is the last purely good thing we had
February 10, 2026 at 6:25 PM
I think this is the last purely good thing we had
What kind of gay porn is this guy watching
February 10, 2026 at 4:30 PM
What kind of gay porn is this guy watching
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
Happy seventh annual Laura Dern Day, please be reminded that you are LEGALLY OBLIGATED to watch this masterpiece *at least* once today!
February 9, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Happy seventh annual Laura Dern Day, please be reminded that you are LEGALLY OBLIGATED to watch this masterpiece *at least* once today!
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
Cancel your Nitro immediately
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Discord will require a face scan or ID for full access next month
Discord will require a face scan or ID for full access next month
Age verification for all.
buff.ly
February 9, 2026 at 4:20 PM
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My timeline must be set correctly here. It’s after midnight and I still haven’t seen who won the Super Bowl, but, I know every detail and Easter egg Bad Bunny put into his performance.
February 9, 2026 at 6:27 AM
My timeline must be set correctly here. It’s after midnight and I still haven’t seen who won the Super Bowl, but, I know every detail and Easter egg Bad Bunny put into his performance.
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
So many folks who thought Born in the USA was a pro-America song are suddenly worried about not understanding lyrics.
February 9, 2026 at 2:29 AM
So many folks who thought Born in the USA was a pro-America song are suddenly worried about not understanding lyrics.
What. What is happening here?
February 9, 2026 at 1:26 AM
What. What is happening here?
How I felt in 1989 when I got The Power Glove:
February 8, 2026 at 6:36 AM
How I felt in 1989 when I got The Power Glove:
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
GM: Charisma check.
Mamdani: [rolls natural 20]
GM: that’s a d6 how did you
Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊
Mamdani: [rolls natural 20]
GM: that’s a d6 how did you
Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊
February 7, 2026 at 5:01 AM
GM: Charisma check.
Mamdani: [rolls natural 20]
GM: that’s a d6 how did you
Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊
Mamdani: [rolls natural 20]
GM: that’s a d6 how did you
Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊
I have delayed plans to date Nicole Kidman to focus on dating Angelina Jolie. All things that can happen just like this.
SpaceX Delays Mars Plans To Focus on Moon
Elon Musk’s rocket company had aimed to reach the red planet in 2026
www.wsj.com
February 7, 2026 at 2:29 AM
I have delayed plans to date Nicole Kidman to focus on dating Angelina Jolie. All things that can happen just like this.
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
If I die, I want my remains to be scattered at the US Capitol. Do not cremate me.
February 4, 2026 at 9:32 PM
If I die, I want my remains to be scattered at the US Capitol. Do not cremate me.
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
Wow! What sounded like the entire AEW Dynamite audience in Las Vegas tonight chanted "Fuck ICE! Fuck ICE!" in unison before the main event
February 5, 2026 at 3:31 AM
Wow! What sounded like the entire AEW Dynamite audience in Las Vegas tonight chanted "Fuck ICE! Fuck ICE!" in unison before the main event
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
The big tech founder whose 417-foot, $500 million superyacht needs a 256-foot, $75 million superyacht to "shadow" it -- because the bigger yacht lacks a helipad -- had to cut his paper's newsroom almost in half, for reasons
NEWS: The cuts were so severe that at least one department head asked to leave The Post rather than be included in the planning.
Peter Finn, The Post's international editor, requested that he be laid off once he learned about the scope of the cuts to his section.
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/04/b...
Peter Finn, The Post's international editor, requested that he be laid off once he learned about the scope of the cuts to his section.
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/04/b...
Washington Post Begins Sweeping Layoffs
www.nytimes.com
February 4, 2026 at 4:05 PM
The big tech founder whose 417-foot, $500 million superyacht needs a 256-foot, $75 million superyacht to "shadow" it -- because the bigger yacht lacks a helipad -- had to cut his paper's newsroom almost in half, for reasons
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
hello, is this the newspaper. i would like to announce that i can't get laid. no, i don't mean a personal ad. i want to be in the news part of the newspaper. no i will NOT hold for a manager.
📢 “A huge amount of men between the age of 15 and 50 will not pass on their genes. They will effectively die out of the gene pool ... Should society intervene?” Steven Bartlett asked last year.
Two top podcasters have identified a global decline. The problem, they say, is women
www.smh.com.au
February 3, 2026 at 5:46 PM
hello, is this the newspaper. i would like to announce that i can't get laid. no, i don't mean a personal ad. i want to be in the news part of the newspaper. no i will NOT hold for a manager.
I had two skeets hit 100 likes yesterday, does this unlock the next posting tier? Do I get to post Alf hog indiscriminately now?
February 3, 2026 at 5:06 PM
I had two skeets hit 100 likes yesterday, does this unlock the next posting tier? Do I get to post Alf hog indiscriminately now?
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
It’s more likely that the dude actually had shrimp tails in his Cinnamon Toast Crunch than whatever this guy is talking about lol
Of all the things in the history of the world that definitely did not happen - this is the pinnacle.
February 3, 2026 at 2:00 AM
It’s more likely that the dude actually had shrimp tails in his Cinnamon Toast Crunch than whatever this guy is talking about lol
The judiciary is doing a lot of lifting that the democrats in congress are getting paid to do but somehow choose not to.
A federal judge blocked the Trump administration from ending temporary protections that have allowed 350,000 Haitians to live and work in the U.S.
Federal judge blocks Trump administration from ending temporary legal status for Haitians in the US
A federal judge has blocked the Trump administration from ending temporary protections that have allowed roughly 350,000 Haitians to live and work in the United States.
bit.ly
February 3, 2026 at 1:40 AM
The judiciary is doing a lot of lifting that the democrats in congress are getting paid to do but somehow choose not to.
Oh cool so the federal government, which keeps SpaceX in business, will now fund Elon’s child porn app. Cool.
A memo just went out to employees at two of Musk's companies: SpaceX has acquired xAI.
February 2, 2026 at 9:58 PM
Oh cool so the federal government, which keeps SpaceX in business, will now fund Elon’s child porn app. Cool.
I like that the republicans went from “OBAMA IS GONNA TELL YOU WHICH DOCTORS YOU CAN USE” to “Clippy is now your gynecologist.”
Dr Oz on rural healthcare: "There's no question about it, whether you want it or not -- the best way to help some of these communities is gonna be AI-based avatars"
February 2, 2026 at 8:35 PM
I like that the republicans went from “OBAMA IS GONNA TELL YOU WHICH DOCTORS YOU CAN USE” to “Clippy is now your gynecologist.”
“Ignore all the actual reporting on this issue and instead read what Turbocock69 has to say about it on substack” isn’t the flex Neil thinks it is.
It brings me no joy to report that Ne*l Gaim*n has broken his silence in the dumbest, least effective way possible: by telling his Instagram followers to read Substack posts (written by somebody else) that allegedly prove the allegations are just a "smear campaign"
Oh and he's writing a new novel 🤮
Oh and he's writing a new novel 🤮
Neil Gaiman on Instagram
12K likes, 0 comments - neilhimself on February 2, 2026
www.instagram.com
February 2, 2026 at 8:15 PM
“Ignore all the actual reporting on this issue and instead read what Turbocock69 has to say about it on substack” isn’t the flex Neil thinks it is.
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
