Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
@clapifyoulikeme.favrd.social
“Lesbian consultant.” “The Chappell Roan of twitter” (and maybe bluesky?) “A good argument, just miles outside the scope.” Cis, she/her. Running on iced tea and Carly Rae. I would love to do your podcast.
Pinned
Finally logged, as best as I can tell, every one of my Cats (2019) viewings.
Rethinking my prior position on capital punishment
Someone handed their kid an iPad in the fucking movie theater and was letting them play on it while the movie was playing. It took all my self restraint not to pull a disgruntled middle aged lady routine.
November 18, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Rethinking my prior position on capital punishment
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
I need some science video or podcast to explain why overhearing someone's video is worse than overhearing someone's conversation. It is, but WHY?
My bus driver just called out the people watching videos on speaker and I think we should make him mayor
November 18, 2025 at 4:03 PM
I need some science video or podcast to explain why overhearing someone's video is worse than overhearing someone's conversation. It is, but WHY?
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
All women can kill one man a year, two if theyre in any of the following fields: nursing, higher ed., any field where it is at least 80:20 men:women
November 18, 2025 at 3:29 PM
All women can kill one man a year, two if theyre in any of the following fields: nursing, higher ed., any field where it is at least 80:20 men:women
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
Unfortunately I am being very earnest here, on Brother Bones’s post, but: I think loud speakers on phones in public is a serious contributor to folks becoming politically reactionary and unhappy over the past decade. It’s a perfect “violation of norms, not laws” that drives people mad.
Broke: Banning tiktok because it's from "Communist China"
Woke: Banning tiktok because you people refuse to wear headphones on the bus
Woke: Banning tiktok because you people refuse to wear headphones on the bus
January 19, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Unfortunately I am being very earnest here, on Brother Bones’s post, but: I think loud speakers on phones in public is a serious contributor to folks becoming politically reactionary and unhappy over the past decade. It’s a perfect “violation of norms, not laws” that drives people mad.
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
bc this is the "its virtuous to be antisocial" website, I've seen ppl try and defend this behavior by saying earbuds cost too much, which really seems to ignore that a) this is very specifically something that ramped up post-pandemic and b) its a behavior that you come across globally on transit now
My bus driver just called out the people watching videos on speaker and I think we should make him mayor
November 18, 2025 at 2:37 PM
bc this is the "its virtuous to be antisocial" website, I've seen ppl try and defend this behavior by saying earbuds cost too much, which really seems to ignore that a) this is very specifically something that ramped up post-pandemic and b) its a behavior that you come across globally on transit now
My bus driver just called out the people watching videos on speaker and I think we should make him mayor
November 18, 2025 at 2:32 PM
My bus driver just called out the people watching videos on speaker and I think we should make him mayor
Thinking serenely about the fact that some measureable portion of voters don’t know who controls Congress
Here's a thread of results from our newest Strength In Numbers/ @verasight.io poll, out today:
- D+5 on generic ballot, grows to D+7 when voters are told Rs control Congress.
- Trump at -16 approval, underwater on inflation by 33 pts and on health care by 26
www.gelliottmorris.com/p/new-poll-d...
- D+5 on generic ballot, grows to D+7 when voters are told Rs control Congress.
- Trump at -16 approval, underwater on inflation by 33 pts and on health care by 26
www.gelliottmorris.com/p/new-poll-d...
New poll: Democrats lead the 2026 House generic ballot, and their edge widens when voters are reminded Republicans control Congress
Plus: Voters see both parties as out of touch, but for different reasons; Trump hits new low on pocketbook issues; Large majorities oppose ending ACA subsidies and SNAP, support taxing high earners
www.gelliottmorris.com
November 18, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Thinking serenely about the fact that some measureable portion of voters don’t know who controls Congress
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
All things considered, I think it’s fair to say Olivia Nuzzi probably had the weirdest 28th birthday of all time
November 18, 2025 at 4:58 AM
All things considered, I think it’s fair to say Olivia Nuzzi probably had the weirdest 28th birthday of all time
Hello Keith this is your agent I’m advising you to keep posting
Btw about this from Lizza's reply: Olivia and I lived together for 4+ years (4 b'days, 4 Xmases, 4 anniversaries). That's like $1250 of jewelry per celebration. And her apartment was a writing studio. And I made an f-ton then. What was I supposed to do? Get her a lot of Gift Certificates from Kmart?
November 18, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Hello Keith this is your agent I’m advising you to keep posting
I solved the Tuesday 11/18/2025 New York Times Daily Crossword in 5:04! www.nytimes.com/crosswords/g...
Play The New York Times Crossword
Keep your mind sharp by making The Crossword part of your daily routine.
www.nytimes.com
November 18, 2025 at 5:31 AM
I solved the Tuesday 11/18/2025 New York Times Daily Crossword in 5:04! www.nytimes.com/crosswords/g...
Open for a psychic surprise
WAIT I SAID YHIS BEFORE READING THE THING LMAO FOR REAL
November 18, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Open for a psychic surprise
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
m. night lizza
Not a single one of you saw that end coming don’t even lie
November 18, 2025 at 4:53 AM
m. night lizza
All things considered, I think it’s fair to say Olivia Nuzzi probably had the weirdest 28th birthday of all time
November 18, 2025 at 4:58 AM
All things considered, I think it’s fair to say Olivia Nuzzi probably had the weirdest 28th birthday of all time
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
Was she watching the McLaughlin Group in a constant state of arousal
November 18, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Was she watching the McLaughlin Group in a constant state of arousal
Not sure this would be my main takeaway if I were Keith tbqh
November 18, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Not sure this would be my main takeaway if I were Keith tbqh
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
Rip Oscar Wilde you would have loved Substack
to have an affair with one longshot presidential candidate twice your age that you’re profiling may be regarded as a misfortune; to have two looks like carelessness
November 18, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Rip Oscar Wilde you would have loved Substack
I do not care for this post I must say!!!!!!
Ark where Newsom doesn’t run in 28 because of an affair with Nuzzi
November 18, 2025 at 2:01 AM
I do not care for this post I must say!!!!!!
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
Do we all agree that her likely next target is gavin newsom?
November 18, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Do we all agree that her likely next target is gavin newsom?
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
"female reporters sleep with sources" factoid actually just statistical error. Average female reporter sleeps with 0 sources per year. Olivia "Old Man Hunter" Nuzzi is an outlier and should not have been counted
November 18, 2025 at 1:43 AM
"female reporters sleep with sources" factoid actually just statistical error. Average female reporter sleeps with 0 sources per year. Olivia "Old Man Hunter" Nuzzi is an outlier and should not have been counted
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
she's like mean girl forrest gump
November 18, 2025 at 1:32 AM
she's like mean girl forrest gump
Meditating on Olivia Nuzzi’s Weiner internship
November 18, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Meditating on Olivia Nuzzi’s Weiner internship
Reposted by Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
a second stop has been found on the Appalachian Trail
November 18, 2025 at 1:17 AM
a second stop has been found on the Appalachian Trail
I cannot render in print the noise I made when I opened this
oh my god you have to read this until the end www.telos.news/p/part-1-how...
Part 1: How I Found Out
Olivia had just returned from a reporting trip—at least that’s what she told me it was—and her Herschel backpack, the one with the flap that never quite closed properly, was tossed beside our bed, its...
www.telos.news
November 18, 2025 at 1:08 AM
I cannot render in print the noise I made when I opened this