Crabapple Jones
@crabapplejones.bsky.social
Trad tradwife (i.e. running an illegal gin operation from the root cellar)
Pinned
Reposted by Crabapple Jones
[making small talk with the sex robot afterward] can you juggle
December 4, 2025 at 6:42 AM
[making small talk with the sex robot afterward] can you juggle
Reposted by Crabapple Jones
RIP Gwendolyn Brooks, first African American poet to win Pulitzer prize, died this day in 2000.
“We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond.”
“Live not for Battles Won.
Live not for The-End-of-the-Song.
Live in the along.”
“We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond.”
“Live not for Battles Won.
Live not for The-End-of-the-Song.
Live in the along.”
December 3, 2025 at 1:12 PM
RIP Gwendolyn Brooks, first African American poet to win Pulitzer prize, died this day in 2000.
“We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond.”
“Live not for Battles Won.
Live not for The-End-of-the-Song.
Live in the along.”
“We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond.”
“Live not for Battles Won.
Live not for The-End-of-the-Song.
Live in the along.”
Flabby, overwritten, nonsensical metaphors: it’s very ChatGPT
Oh man! This paragraph is brutal. The best thing about this review is it's not trying to be mean. It's just listing how bad the writing is.
December 3, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Flabby, overwritten, nonsensical metaphors: it’s very ChatGPT
We still have the First Commandment, right?
Kristi Noem: "Sir, you made it through hurricane season without a hurricane. You kept the hurricanes away. We appreciate that."
December 2, 2025 at 6:19 PM
We still have the First Commandment, right?
Reposted by Crabapple Jones
Hegseth’s not dumb, but not smart enough to be SecDef. He's what passes as clever to a man as ignorant as Trump.
He's a broken, tragic figure of Shakespearean proportion. Arrogant and ignorant as the day is long.
An utterly pathetic man, way out over his skis, and he knows it.
He's a broken, tragic figure of Shakespearean proportion. Arrogant and ignorant as the day is long.
An utterly pathetic man, way out over his skis, and he knows it.
after watching sen. kelly’s press conference what i most admire is how much of it was just like, get a load of this guy, hegseth. you see this dumbass? one of the dumbest guys you’ll ever meet. prize dunce.
December 2, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Hegseth’s not dumb, but not smart enough to be SecDef. He's what passes as clever to a man as ignorant as Trump.
He's a broken, tragic figure of Shakespearean proportion. Arrogant and ignorant as the day is long.
An utterly pathetic man, way out over his skis, and he knows it.
He's a broken, tragic figure of Shakespearean proportion. Arrogant and ignorant as the day is long.
An utterly pathetic man, way out over his skis, and he knows it.
Reposted by Crabapple Jones
December 2, 2025 at 8:48 AM
Can you watch him talk about using AI to make vulgar jokes at a party without thinking he’s the poorest man to walk the earth?
These are the 10 richest people in the world right now.
The Top 10 Richest People In The World | December 2025
There’s a new No. 2 on Forbes’ ranking of the world’s wealthiest people.
www.forbes.com
December 2, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Can you watch him talk about using AI to make vulgar jokes at a party without thinking he’s the poorest man to walk the earth?
My embargo on fascist nozzles continues, so since they put that Shark-Tank-MAGA-twat in “Marty,” I’ll say it here: I’m bummed to miss what sounds like a great movie.
Leni Riefenstahl looking numpties.
Leni Riefenstahl looking numpties.
review embargo is up on Marty Supreme, but i'm not reviewing it, so i'll say here: a great American motion picture
December 1, 2025 at 5:20 PM
My embargo on fascist nozzles continues, so since they put that Shark-Tank-MAGA-twat in “Marty,” I’ll say it here: I’m bummed to miss what sounds like a great movie.
Leni Riefenstahl looking numpties.
Leni Riefenstahl looking numpties.
British Celebrity Traitors is peak reality TV— it’s time to shut the genre down. Only downhill from here.
"Genius sometimes consists of knowing when to stop." - deGaulle or some internet phony
"Genius sometimes consists of knowing when to stop." - deGaulle or some internet phony
December 1, 2025 at 5:15 PM
British Celebrity Traitors is peak reality TV— it’s time to shut the genre down. Only downhill from here.
"Genius sometimes consists of knowing when to stop." - deGaulle or some internet phony
"Genius sometimes consists of knowing when to stop." - deGaulle or some internet phony
Do not trust these crooks with your cereal. They are not for real.
They are bad men.
They are bad men.
December 1, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Do not trust these crooks with your cereal. They are not for real.
They are bad men.
They are bad men.
Vladimir & Estrogen is name of my new HRT brand.
You’ll still question whether life is meaningless, but also be randy and lower your risk of osteoporosis
You’ll still question whether life is meaningless, but also be randy and lower your risk of osteoporosis
I couldn’t remember the names of the two guys in Waiting for Godot so I called them Estrogen and Tarragon and it turns out I was right
December 1, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Vladimir & Estrogen is name of my new HRT brand.
You’ll still question whether life is meaningless, but also be randy and lower your risk of osteoporosis
You’ll still question whether life is meaningless, but also be randy and lower your risk of osteoporosis
JD Vance has less charisma than Karoline Leavitt’s mac ‘n’ cheese.
JD Vance has the charm of a Times Square sex shop.
JD Vance has less appeal than going barefoot in an airplane bathroom.
JD Vance has the charm of a Times Square sex shop.
JD Vance has less appeal than going barefoot in an airplane bathroom.
November 30, 2025 at 7:43 PM
JD Vance has less charisma than Karoline Leavitt’s mac ‘n’ cheese.
JD Vance has the charm of a Times Square sex shop.
JD Vance has less appeal than going barefoot in an airplane bathroom.
JD Vance has the charm of a Times Square sex shop.
JD Vance has less appeal than going barefoot in an airplane bathroom.
Did not know about this Galadriel spin-off, but OK, Tolkien.
November 30, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Did not know about this Galadriel spin-off, but OK, Tolkien.
The ongoing D “All Fur Coat, No Knickers” strategy.
"High floor, no ceiling" isn't meant to be persuasive to voters, it's meant for donors, and I assume Jeffries, whose job functions partly by being able to direct donor money to favored and against unfavored candidates, knows that.
November 30, 2025 at 5:25 PM
The ongoing D “All Fur Coat, No Knickers” strategy.
No wonder Iowa gets mistaken for heaven.
IOWA CITY - Neighbors, the first snow is starting tonight!
We have loads of books and puzzles... and Book Seats.
They're perfect for when you are reading a paper book but want to wrap both hands around your cocoa mug! ☕🍵
www.thehauntedbookshop.com/advSearchRes...
We have loads of books and puzzles... and Book Seats.
They're perfect for when you are reading a paper book but want to wrap both hands around your cocoa mug! ☕🍵
www.thehauntedbookshop.com/advSearchRes...
November 28, 2025 at 7:37 PM
No wonder Iowa gets mistaken for heaven.
Reposted by Crabapple Jones
Quick, they can’t have gotten far
Thieves have stolen €90,000 worth of fine French snails destined for some of the country’s most prestigious restaurants
Thieves take €90,000 of snails meant for Michelin-starred restaurants
French police are on the trail of ‘experienced’ criminals who stole a whole year’s worth of produce from Jean-Mathieu Dauvergne’s L’Escargot des Grands Crus
www.thetimes.com
November 27, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Quick, they can’t have gotten far
Give the people what they want @rianjohnson.bsky.social @pbs.org please
Statler’s Box: A Knives Out Mystery
Statler’s Box: A Knives Out Mystery
It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star Benoît Blanc!
November 27, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Give the people what they want @rianjohnson.bsky.social @pbs.org please
Statler’s Box: A Knives Out Mystery
Statler’s Box: A Knives Out Mystery
Trump is interfering in Honduran elections and I need to read French news to know about it
Honduras : Donald Trump s’ingère dans l’élection présidentielle et appelle à voter pour le candidat de droite, Nasry Asfura
Honduras : Donald Trump s’ingère dans l’élection présidentielle et appelle à voter pour le candidat de droite, Nasry Asfura
En s’immisçant dans la campagne, le président américain lie l’avenir du pays à la lutte contre les « narcocommunistes » et agite la menace d’une intervention militaire régionale.
www.lemonde.fr
November 27, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Trump is interfering in Honduran elections and I need to read French news to know about it
Me, reading this post:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Plo5...
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Plo5...
November 26, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Me, reading this post:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Plo5...
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Plo5...
Kathryn Bigelow’s “She-Ra”
“If you were a despotic president, what movie would you force Hollywood to make?”
“If you were a despotic president, what movie would you force Hollywood to make?”
Guillermo Del Toro's "At the Mountains of Madness."
If you were a despotic president, what movie would you force Hollywood to make? I want to see Quentin's Star Trek movie or maybe Kill Bill Vol 3.
November 25, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Kathryn Bigelow’s “She-Ra”
“If you were a despotic president, what movie would you force Hollywood to make?”
“If you were a despotic president, what movie would you force Hollywood to make?”
Vance has the charisma of trenchfoot.
Kelly is an astronaut with a twin astronaut.
oh, Lord: Let our national stupidity work in our favor this time.
Kelly is an astronaut with a twin astronaut.
oh, Lord: Let our national stupidity work in our favor this time.
November 25, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Vance has the charisma of trenchfoot.
Kelly is an astronaut with a twin astronaut.
oh, Lord: Let our national stupidity work in our favor this time.
Kelly is an astronaut with a twin astronaut.
oh, Lord: Let our national stupidity work in our favor this time.
The dumbest possible state-controlled media, set to join the dumbest possible foreign policy and the dumbest possible approach to state capitalism.
We Are # 1!
We Are # 1!
I teased this last night in What I’m Hearing but now confirmed: Paramount WILL release Rush Hour 4 after prodding from Trump on behalf of Brett Ratner. Distribution deal. Producer Tarak Ben Ammar is lining up financing. Get ready for the dumbest possible state-controlled media.
November 25, 2025 at 5:49 PM
The dumbest possible state-controlled media, set to join the dumbest possible foreign policy and the dumbest possible approach to state capitalism.
We Are # 1!
We Are # 1!
There are entire genres of every American art form devoted to valorizing men like Mark Kelly.
Not sure that’s the fight I’d pick.
Not sure that’s the fight I’d pick.
Feels like a drunk and a 5-time draft-dodger trying a decorated combat fighter pilot / astronaut / senator who has an astronaut twin and a former Congresswoman who was almost assassinated wife for a crime he patently didn’t commit is going to be up there?
November 24, 2025 at 8:00 PM
There are entire genres of every American art form devoted to valorizing men like Mark Kelly.
Not sure that’s the fight I’d pick.
Not sure that’s the fight I’d pick.
Spoiler (?)
Joffrey died?!! I thought that horrid kid would make it much later. Pleased for all of us.
Joffrey died?!! I thought that horrid kid would make it much later. Pleased for all of us.
finally watching ‘Game of Thrones’ and it’s brilliant.
The Red Wedding! What?! That was crazy.
It’s all a bit violent for me, but the characters, the story, the costumes, the whole thing is outrageous
The Red Wedding! What?! That was crazy.
It’s all a bit violent for me, but the characters, the story, the costumes, the whole thing is outrageous
November 24, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Spoiler (?)
Joffrey died?!! I thought that horrid kid would make it much later. Pleased for all of us.
Joffrey died?!! I thought that horrid kid would make it much later. Pleased for all of us.