Mary Heavens
@daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social
You can windsurf into my life 🎤
Pinned
Live
Laugh
Launch me into the sun
Laugh
Launch me into the sun
Live
Laugh
Light yourself on fire
Laugh
Light yourself on fire
Live
Laugh
Lick my love pump
Laugh
Lick my love pump
My autistic boy actually played with a toy(!) at disabled swimming tonight – a cute plastic turtle.
Does she have a name?
“No. I was experimenting with density. The toy was less dense than the water so it floated. The density of the water was 1.0 and the density of the toy was 0.8.”
🤯
Does she have a name?
“No. I was experimenting with density. The toy was less dense than the water so it floated. The density of the water was 1.0 and the density of the toy was 0.8.”
🤯
November 28, 2025 at 11:29 PM
My autistic boy actually played with a toy(!) at disabled swimming tonight – a cute plastic turtle.
Does she have a name?
“No. I was experimenting with density. The toy was less dense than the water so it floated. The density of the water was 1.0 and the density of the toy was 0.8.”
🤯
Does she have a name?
“No. I was experimenting with density. The toy was less dense than the water so it floated. The density of the water was 1.0 and the density of the toy was 0.8.”
🤯
The teen’s just asked if Tiffany’s still alive 💀 #strangerthings #strangerthings5
November 28, 2025 at 7:57 PM
The teen’s just asked if Tiffany’s still alive 💀 #strangerthings #strangerthings5
Buying a Juliet balcony for our actual 14-yr-old daughter 😍
(She’ll be 15 by the time this build’s done but let’s not piss on the poetry)
(She’ll be 15 by the time this build’s done but let’s not piss on the poetry)
November 28, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Buying a Juliet balcony for our actual 14-yr-old daughter 😍
(She’ll be 15 by the time this build’s done but let’s not piss on the poetry)
(She’ll be 15 by the time this build’s done but let’s not piss on the poetry)
Reposted by Mary Heavens
"BUT WHEN IS IT WHITE FRIDAY!?"
November 27, 2024 at 8:51 PM
"BUT WHEN IS IT WHITE FRIDAY!?"
“Pro-life”
The man charged with killing three people at a Colorado Planned Parenthood clinic in 2015 because it offered abortion services has died in federal custody.
Man charged in Colorado Planned Parenthood shooting dies in federal custody
The man charged with killing three people at a Colorado Planned Parenthood clinic in 2015 because it offered abortion services has died in federal custody.
bit.ly
November 26, 2025 at 7:50 AM
“Pro-life”
Poll: Would you refer to an end-of-terrace house as semi-detached?
✅ Yes, because it is literally semi (half) detached
❌ No, because it is not a Semi-Detached house
✅ Yes, because it is literally semi (half) detached
❌ No, because it is not a Semi-Detached house
November 25, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Poll: Would you refer to an end-of-terrace house as semi-detached?
✅ Yes, because it is literally semi (half) detached
❌ No, because it is not a Semi-Detached house
✅ Yes, because it is literally semi (half) detached
❌ No, because it is not a Semi-Detached house
Reposted by Mary Heavens
Nighty night. I’m off to bed with Colin Farrell*
*Reading A Portrait of the Artist on Audible
*Reading A Portrait of the Artist on Audible
November 23, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Nighty night. I’m off to bed with Colin Farrell*
*Reading A Portrait of the Artist on Audible
*Reading A Portrait of the Artist on Audible
A stranger come round to pick something up and wouldn’t stop banging on about how lovely my house is so now I can just die happy ok bye
November 23, 2025 at 3:33 PM
A stranger come round to pick something up and wouldn’t stop banging on about how lovely my house is so now I can just die happy ok bye
I approve this message
With all the fighting in the world over religion it is about time atheists become less apathetic and start knocking on doors spreading the word that sky fairies do not exist
November 23, 2025 at 2:38 PM
I approve this message
Reposted by Mary Heavens
Ear defenders for everyone who’d like Richard Tice and Reform to stfu
November 18, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Ear defenders for everyone who’d like Richard Tice and Reform to stfu
What’s the deal with these vertical dramas, then? Is that they’re so bad they’re good? Are we supposed to be in on the joke? Asking for an old lady…
November 18, 2025 at 2:23 PM
What’s the deal with these vertical dramas, then? Is that they’re so bad they’re good? Are we supposed to be in on the joke? Asking for an old lady…
Ear defenders for everyone who’d like Richard Tice and Reform to stfu
November 18, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Ear defenders for everyone who’d like Richard Tice and Reform to stfu
Well I wasn’t feeling remotely Christmassy until now 💫
John Lewis might be onto something with these Christmas Twee decorations…
November 18, 2025 at 11:36 AM
Well I wasn’t feeling remotely Christmassy until now 💫
If we’ve learned one this this week it’s that young teenage girls are categorically not “fully grown”.
November 17, 2025 at 12:44 PM
If we’ve learned one this this week it’s that young teenage girls are categorically not “fully grown”.
Lots of white people in the replies explaining racism 🙄
Not enough is made of the inherent racism in calling Mel B 'Scary'.
November 17, 2025 at 11:39 AM
Lots of white people in the replies explaining racism 🙄
Reposted by Mary Heavens
Autistic meltdowns: The world stops. I keep him alive, silently, while he thrashes and screams. 40-mins in, I might be able to put some piano music on, if he lets me, we play the burger game. He’s the meat, the cushions are the buns, lettuce, ketchup. I push down. And we laugh. We can breathe again.
November 16, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Autistic meltdowns: The world stops. I keep him alive, silently, while he thrashes and screams. 40-mins in, I might be able to put some piano music on, if he lets me, we play the burger game. He’s the meat, the cushions are the buns, lettuce, ketchup. I push down. And we laugh. We can breathe again.
Bumped into a friend today who was freaked out to see me: “Oh my god, so weird, I was literally *just* thinking about you... Must be some witchy shit going on there.”
So common. And yet we just leave it there, don’t we, and carry on.
So common. And yet we just leave it there, don’t we, and carry on.
November 15, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Bumped into a friend today who was freaked out to see me: “Oh my god, so weird, I was literally *just* thinking about you... Must be some witchy shit going on there.”
So common. And yet we just leave it there, don’t we, and carry on.
So common. And yet we just leave it there, don’t we, and carry on.
The word incel didn’t exist last time I read it, but the monster demanding Victor create a female version of himself else he’s going to smash some shit up and murder again is so 2025. Brava Mary Shelley – ahead of your time as always 👏
I am re-reading Frankenstein, like a bandwagon-jumping bellend
November 15, 2025 at 8:34 AM
The word incel didn’t exist last time I read it, but the monster demanding Victor create a female version of himself else he’s going to smash some shit up and murder again is so 2025. Brava Mary Shelley – ahead of your time as always 👏
Oh, Megyn Kelly just went ahead and said it
Paedophilia is a lesser crime when it’s girls. That’s the subtext here. That’s what nobody’s saying, but what millions still believe.
Tell me again how feminism’s gone too far.
#epsteinfiles
Tell me again how feminism’s gone too far.
#epsteinfiles
November 15, 2025 at 8:25 AM
Oh, Megyn Kelly just went ahead and said it
They are off the street – they’re in the highest offices
Their narrative is to make it seem like we want to protect Dems the way they protect their own, when I reality we just all child rapists off the street.
November 15, 2025 at 8:13 AM
They are off the street – they’re in the highest offices
Tell me your ex didn’t try to murder you without telling me your ex didn’t try to murder you
Going no contact is obviously essential for people exiting abusive relationships, but the fact it has become a mainstream credo even after amicable break-ups says something troubling about our culture. Maintaining diplomatic ties with an ex is a life skill, shame to lose it.
November 14, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Tell me your ex didn’t try to murder you without telling me your ex didn’t try to murder you