Mary Heavens
@daddyissuesbarbie.bsky.social
You can windsurf into my life 🎤
Pinned
Live
Laugh
Launch me into the sun
Laugh
Launch me into the sun
Live
Laugh
Light yourself on fire
Laugh
Light yourself on fire
Live
Laugh
Lick my love pump
Laugh
Lick my love pump
*Nothing* is stable in my life right now, lads.
(Partially my own doing…)
(Partially my own doing…)
a woman in a black coat and high heels is walking on a frozen lake
ALT: a woman in a black coat and high heels is walking on a frozen lake
media.tenor.com
February 6, 2026 at 7:34 PM
*Nothing* is stable in my life right now, lads.
(Partially my own doing…)
(Partially my own doing…)
Me but drinking
February 6, 2026 at 12:59 PM
Me but drinking
Fuck no. I’ve forgotten all the saints’ names and days. She used to phone and TEST US. *shudder*
IN DEPTH | If you could speak to your dead grandmother forever, would you?
If you could speak to your dead grandmother forever, would you?
www.independent.co.uk
February 6, 2026 at 10:59 AM
Fuck no. I’ve forgotten all the saints’ names and days. She used to phone and TEST US. *shudder*
My “boyfriend” was pushing 30 when I was 16
And he knew to target me because the man that took me round the back of the leisure centre at 14 was a serving police officer
And he knew to target me because I’d already had my heart broken by my drunk abusive father
And so the world goes round
And he knew to target me because the man that took me round the back of the leisure centre at 14 was a serving police officer
And he knew to target me because I’d already had my heart broken by my drunk abusive father
And so the world goes round
when i was a 16yo girl i thought i was an adult. coaching 12-17yo girls as a 28yo really hammered home how much i was wrong about being an adult at 16 and how obvious it is to actual adults that a 16yo is not an adult. if they say they cannot tell they are lying because they are a creep.
February 6, 2026 at 8:57 AM
My “boyfriend” was pushing 30 when I was 16
And he knew to target me because the man that took me round the back of the leisure centre at 14 was a serving police officer
And he knew to target me because I’d already had my heart broken by my drunk abusive father
And so the world goes round
And he knew to target me because the man that took me round the back of the leisure centre at 14 was a serving police officer
And he knew to target me because I’d already had my heart broken by my drunk abusive father
And so the world goes round
Things can only get bitter
He knew.
Keir Starmer knew about Peter Mandelson’s close relationship with Jeffrey Epstein when he appointed him Ambassador to the US.
This “apology” is just damage control. He must resign.
Keir Starmer knew about Peter Mandelson’s close relationship with Jeffrey Epstein when he appointed him Ambassador to the US.
This “apology” is just damage control. He must resign.
February 5, 2026 at 4:01 PM
Things can only get bitter
You watch a couple of Epstein reels
Algorithm: so you’re into conspiracy theories, I see!
(This is deeply fucking troubling)
Algorithm: so you’re into conspiracy theories, I see!
(This is deeply fucking troubling)
February 5, 2026 at 1:02 PM
You watch a couple of Epstein reels
Algorithm: so you’re into conspiracy theories, I see!
(This is deeply fucking troubling)
Algorithm: so you’re into conspiracy theories, I see!
(This is deeply fucking troubling)
Reposted by Mary Heavens
Just thinking of all the activists who warned us about every single second of the current reality for absolutely years in advance.
February 5, 2026 at 9:00 AM
Just thinking of all the activists who warned us about every single second of the current reality for absolutely years in advance.
A while back I posted about how everyone moans at having the builders in, whereas I’m just super grateful and excited to get started.
I take it all back. It is fucking carnage.
I take it all back. It is fucking carnage.
February 4, 2026 at 10:18 PM
A while back I posted about how everyone moans at having the builders in, whereas I’m just super grateful and excited to get started.
I take it all back. It is fucking carnage.
I take it all back. It is fucking carnage.
Reposted by Mary Heavens
Shove twenty eight eggs up your shitpipe you brainwormed twat
February 4, 2026 at 6:26 PM
Shove twenty eight eggs up your shitpipe you brainwormed twat
Ladies and gentlemen: The Worst Song Ever Written™ youtu.be/-K_P6G0E7oE
February 4, 2026 at 10:08 AM
Ladies and gentlemen: The Worst Song Ever Written™ youtu.be/-K_P6G0E7oE
Reposted by Mary Heavens
At this point you’re either a feminist or you support child rape.
No more “oh well I wouldn’t really define myself as that”.
Stand. The. Fuck. Up. We need you on side.
No more “oh well I wouldn’t really define myself as that”.
Stand. The. Fuck. Up. We need you on side.
February 4, 2026 at 5:28 AM
At this point you’re either a feminist or you support child rape.
No more “oh well I wouldn’t really define myself as that”.
Stand. The. Fuck. Up. We need you on side.
No more “oh well I wouldn’t really define myself as that”.
Stand. The. Fuck. Up. We need you on side.
Reposted by Mary Heavens
The ultimate “you should smile more”.
This keeps happening, and the other reporters keep acting like it’s business as usual. I’m losing my mind.
If I was in a press conference and a public official did this, I’d immediately walk out.
If I was in a press conference and a public official did this, I’d immediately walk out.
KAITLAN COLLINS: What would say to Epstein survivo---
TRUMP: You are so bad. You are the worst report. No wonder CNN has no ratings. She's a young woman. I don't think I've ever seen you smile. They should be ashamed of you.
TRUMP: You are so bad. You are the worst report. No wonder CNN has no ratings. She's a young woman. I don't think I've ever seen you smile. They should be ashamed of you.
February 4, 2026 at 5:22 AM
The ultimate “you should smile more”.
At this point you’re either a feminist or you support child rape.
No more “oh well I wouldn’t really define myself as that”.
Stand. The. Fuck. Up. We need you on side.
No more “oh well I wouldn’t really define myself as that”.
Stand. The. Fuck. Up. We need you on side.
February 4, 2026 at 5:28 AM
At this point you’re either a feminist or you support child rape.
No more “oh well I wouldn’t really define myself as that”.
Stand. The. Fuck. Up. We need you on side.
No more “oh well I wouldn’t really define myself as that”.
Stand. The. Fuck. Up. We need you on side.
The ultimate “you should smile more”.
This keeps happening, and the other reporters keep acting like it’s business as usual. I’m losing my mind.
If I was in a press conference and a public official did this, I’d immediately walk out.
If I was in a press conference and a public official did this, I’d immediately walk out.
KAITLAN COLLINS: What would say to Epstein survivo---
TRUMP: You are so bad. You are the worst report. No wonder CNN has no ratings. She's a young woman. I don't think I've ever seen you smile. They should be ashamed of you.
TRUMP: You are so bad. You are the worst report. No wonder CNN has no ratings. She's a young woman. I don't think I've ever seen you smile. They should be ashamed of you.
February 4, 2026 at 5:22 AM
The ultimate “you should smile more”.
Booked our Yr 10 parents evening slots
a man is kneeling down in the grass holding a large piece of wood
ALT: a man is kneeling down in the grass holding a large piece of wood
media.tenor.com
February 3, 2026 at 6:11 PM
Booked our Yr 10 parents evening slots
Reposted by Mary Heavens
Good morning.
The only person from the Epstein files currently in jail is a woman.
The only person from the Epstein files currently in jail is a woman.
February 3, 2026 at 6:19 AM
Good morning.
The only person from the Epstein files currently in jail is a woman.
The only person from the Epstein files currently in jail is a woman.
Good morning.
The only person from the Epstein files currently in jail is a woman.
The only person from the Epstein files currently in jail is a woman.
February 3, 2026 at 6:19 AM
Good morning.
The only person from the Epstein files currently in jail is a woman.
The only person from the Epstein files currently in jail is a woman.
Would you like to see another deranged Irish mammy text? Of course you would…
February 2, 2026 at 7:32 PM
Would you like to see another deranged Irish mammy text? Of course you would…
Reposted by Mary Heavens
suffering from depression or low self esteem? before you start self diagnosing, surprise!!! you might be surrounded by shitheads
February 2, 2026 at 6:55 PM
suffering from depression or low self esteem? before you start self diagnosing, surprise!!! you might be surrounded by shitheads
How do I explain to the dog that the scaffolders are coming today and we’re not, in fact, under siege?
February 2, 2026 at 8:14 AM
How do I explain to the dog that the scaffolders are coming today and we’re not, in fact, under siege?
Reposted by Mary Heavens
One of the most disgusting, brutal and unpunished child‑abuse networks in the world…
And the usual voices who claim to care about ‘women and girls’ have nothing to say.
We see you.
And the usual voices who claim to care about ‘women and girls’ have nothing to say.
We see you.
February 1, 2026 at 11:48 AM
One of the most disgusting, brutal and unpunished child‑abuse networks in the world…
And the usual voices who claim to care about ‘women and girls’ have nothing to say.
We see you.
And the usual voices who claim to care about ‘women and girls’ have nothing to say.
We see you.
Teenage crush 😍
February 1, 2026 at 10:14 AM
Teenage crush 😍
Good morning
Women perform worse than men on game shows because we’re so used to not being believed that we’re conditioned to second guess ourselves before we have a chance to hit the buzzer
Women perform worse than men on game shows because we’re so used to not being believed that we’re conditioned to second guess ourselves before we have a chance to hit the buzzer
February 1, 2026 at 9:46 AM
Good morning
Women perform worse than men on game shows because we’re so used to not being believed that we’re conditioned to second guess ourselves before we have a chance to hit the buzzer
Women perform worse than men on game shows because we’re so used to not being believed that we’re conditioned to second guess ourselves before we have a chance to hit the buzzer
I can hear the dog upstairs doing batshit ballistic zoomies on his own. No audience. Idiot.
January 31, 2026 at 8:46 PM
I can hear the dog upstairs doing batshit ballistic zoomies on his own. No audience. Idiot.
Reposted by Mary Heavens
Stop using dating apps and just start calling for pizza. Pizza delivery drivers have a car, a job, and pizza. Jackpot
January 31, 2026 at 7:08 PM
Stop using dating apps and just start calling for pizza. Pizza delivery drivers have a car, a job, and pizza. Jackpot