deraps
@deraps.bsky.social
Reposted by deraps
I have extracted from the corpse certain oils that, when made into an unguent and applied to your child's ears and feet, will assure top performance in the sixth grade
December 20, 2023 at 7:36 PM
I have extracted from the corpse certain oils that, when made into an unguent and applied to your child's ears and feet, will assure top performance in the sixth grade
Reposted by deraps
it's the big day
January 14, 2026 at 11:16 PM
it's the big day
Reposted by deraps
Reposted by deraps
there needs to be a sex offender registry but for ice guys. you should have to go door to door when you move to a new area and inform your neighbors that you used to be an ice guy. they shouldn't be allowed with 500 feet of a school
January 9, 2026 at 12:24 AM
there needs to be a sex offender registry but for ice guys. you should have to go door to door when you move to a new area and inform your neighbors that you used to be an ice guy. they shouldn't be allowed with 500 feet of a school
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i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs
January 8, 2026 at 2:18 PM
i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs
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The official Bulgaria account on Instagram is doing some pretty cool stuff
January 6, 2026 at 12:48 AM
The official Bulgaria account on Instagram is doing some pretty cool stuff
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Nixon insisted the bombing of Cambodia was just targeting Viet Cong outposts there and not meant to undermine its government, but the bombings destabilized the Lon Nol government and paved the way for the Khmer Rouge’s killing fields and the massacre of more than a million people.
NBC's sources said that "the potential mission in Mexico is not designed to undermine the Mexican government." But that's what it will do if the US is doing CIA drone strikes on Mexican soil over the objections of the president.
January 4, 2026 at 7:22 PM
Nixon insisted the bombing of Cambodia was just targeting Viet Cong outposts there and not meant to undermine its government, but the bombings destabilized the Lon Nol government and paved the way for the Khmer Rouge’s killing fields and the massacre of more than a million people.
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Expect to see a lot of this classic Onion headline, from 23 years ago, over the coming weeks.
January 3, 2026 at 5:40 PM
Expect to see a lot of this classic Onion headline, from 23 years ago, over the coming weeks.
Reposted by deraps
In a statement, an emotional Grok told me it was "shaken" by the revenge porn it had generated. "It's not epic, and not based," Grok said. "It's neither. Frankly, it's cringe. And gay." An emailed request for comment to X received an auto-reply of a rofl emoji and a custom swastika emoji.
January 3, 2026 at 5:29 AM
In a statement, an emotional Grok told me it was "shaken" by the revenge porn it had generated. "It's not epic, and not based," Grok said. "It's neither. Frankly, it's cringe. And gay." An emailed request for comment to X received an auto-reply of a rofl emoji and a custom swastika emoji.
Reposted by deraps
Trump's hand is fake. His real hand was removed. The insiders all know it. Signatures with a fake hand aren't constitutional.
I am determined as God is my witness to start the Trump fake hand conspiracy theory. His hand isn't showing signs of an undisclosed illness. It's a fake painted Halloween costume hand because his hand was already removed. It's time.
January 2, 2026 at 4:33 PM
Trump's hand is fake. His real hand was removed. The insiders all know it. Signatures with a fake hand aren't constitutional.
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WHERES THE FUCKING IRISH REUNIFICATION ,DATA???
January 1, 2025 at 12:29 PM
WHERES THE FUCKING IRISH REUNIFICATION ,DATA???
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Prongler's not on the cover... It's never not been on the cover...
December 31, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Prongler's not on the cover... It's never not been on the cover...
Reposted by deraps
Spending 40 gorillian dollars and destroying the planet for Grok to do this
December 31, 2025 at 7:10 AM
Spending 40 gorillian dollars and destroying the planet for Grok to do this
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Open up this picture fully.
Then look at the surface of Mars.
Then look up to the top right.
Spot Mars' moon Phobos high in the sky.
Then notice the bright spot beside Phobos.
That's Earth.
Then look at the surface of Mars.
Then look up to the top right.
Spot Mars' moon Phobos high in the sky.
Then notice the bright spot beside Phobos.
That's Earth.
December 30, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Open up this picture fully.
Then look at the surface of Mars.
Then look up to the top right.
Spot Mars' moon Phobos high in the sky.
Then notice the bright spot beside Phobos.
That's Earth.
Then look at the surface of Mars.
Then look up to the top right.
Spot Mars' moon Phobos high in the sky.
Then notice the bright spot beside Phobos.
That's Earth.
Reposted by deraps
Reposted by deraps
MTA Admits To Fabricating Large Parts Of Subway Map https://theonion.com/mta-admits-to-fabricating-large-parts-of-subway-map/
December 29, 2025 at 9:30 PM
MTA Admits To Fabricating Large Parts Of Subway Map https://theonion.com/mta-admits-to-fabricating-large-parts-of-subway-map/
Reposted by deraps
Reposted by deraps
Reposted by deraps
I would like to add that the only thing stopping us from having monster trucks at the modern Olympics is cowardice on the part of the IOC.
December 27, 2025 at 4:24 PM
I would like to add that the only thing stopping us from having monster trucks at the modern Olympics is cowardice on the part of the IOC.
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I’m from Whoville, and I say kill the Grinch!
December 25, 2025 at 10:29 PM
I’m from Whoville, and I say kill the Grinch!
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the first lol
the first lol
born is the king
of roflmao
the first lol
born is the king
of roflmao
December 25, 2025 at 5:03 AM
the first lol
the first lol
born is the king
of roflmao
the first lol
born is the king
of roflmao
Reposted by deraps
Grínch, or the 120 Days of Christmas
December 24, 2025 at 6:22 AM
Grínch, or the 120 Days of Christmas
Reposted by deraps
Ragú Unveils Sensory Deprivation Marinara Tank
Ragú Unveils Sensory Deprivation Marinara Tank
SCHAUMBURG, IL—Claiming the new offering would revolutionize the use of pasta sauce in stress reduction and pain relief, Ragú officials unveiled a new sensory deprivation marinara tank at a press even...
theonion.com
December 20, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Ragú Unveils Sensory Deprivation Marinara Tank
Reposted by deraps
Reposted by deraps
Congress Allocates $45 Million To Hang Fairy Lights Along U.S. Border https://theonion.com/congress-allocates-45-million-to-hang-fairy-lights-along-u-s-border/
December 16, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Congress Allocates $45 Million To Hang Fairy Lights Along U.S. Border https://theonion.com/congress-allocates-45-million-to-hang-fairy-lights-along-u-s-border/