therealWokeKong
@donkeykonga.bsky.social
I’m woke kong from the hit game woke kong
If China ever invades America I’m defecting to the People’s Liberation Army. I don’t speak Chinese and I don’t know how to shoot a gun but I’m certain I could still do something to help liberate America
January 30, 2026 at 4:45 AM
If China ever invades America I’m defecting to the People’s Liberation Army. I don’t speak Chinese and I don’t know how to shoot a gun but I’m certain I could still do something to help liberate America
You guys don’t understand this is good news. We need the government to stay open otherwise it will stop mindlessly killing people. If it stops mindlessly killing people then all my investments in Palantir and Lockheed-Martin will be wasted!
Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer's office says a bipartisan funding deal has been reached to avert a government shutdown. GOP Senate leaders are now working to schedule a vote. https://cnn.it/4qMtoK9
January 30, 2026 at 4:41 AM
You guys don’t understand this is good news. We need the government to stay open otherwise it will stop mindlessly killing people. If it stops mindlessly killing people then all my investments in Palantir and Lockheed-Martin will be wasted!
The reason you can’t afford a house is because your senator is more concerned with who’s playing the halftime show than with doing his job btw
Tuberville: "Unfortunately we've got the Woke Bowl, because we're getting more and more woke. We got Bad Bunny or Bad Rabbit at halftime. I'll be watching the TPUSA halftime show. It's just unfortunate we've gotten to this point."
January 30, 2026 at 12:12 AM
The reason you can’t afford a house is because your senator is more concerned with who’s playing the halftime show than with doing his job btw
At first I kept asking myself why specifically Armenians and then it hit me: Dr Oz is turkish. To us it’s a weirdly specific call out, to him it’s just plain old racism
dr oz copy+pasting the somali daycare fraud thing onto glendale armenians is one of the worst tactical errors ive ever seen an admin make. very few people in this city care less if they live or die than the guys in track suits smoking 5 packs a day up and down brand ave
January 29, 2026 at 11:46 PM
At first I kept asking myself why specifically Armenians and then it hit me: Dr Oz is turkish. To us it’s a weirdly specific call out, to him it’s just plain old racism
Fat balding middle aged men should have better things to do with their time than upload YouTube videos about how “gay culture will end because of Nintendo games”
January 29, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Fat balding middle aged men should have better things to do with their time than upload YouTube videos about how “gay culture will end because of Nintendo games”
The bit with the Common Sense pamphlets looks so bad. It looks like they’re picking up those little museum placards you’d see on a school field trip instead of a 47 page booklet
Also, one of the things AI really can’t do right is smoke. And they wanna make a war movie with AI. Good luck man
Also, one of the things AI really can’t do right is smoke. And they wanna make a war movie with AI. Good luck man
First trailer for Darren Aranofsky's new AI animated series 'On This Day... 1776'
• Tells short narrative stories about the Revolutionary War
• Uses Gen AI tools, including tech made by Google DeepMind
• Has SAG voice actors
• Tells short narrative stories about the Revolutionary War
• Uses Gen AI tools, including tech made by Google DeepMind
• Has SAG voice actors
January 29, 2026 at 9:20 PM
The bit with the Common Sense pamphlets looks so bad. It looks like they’re picking up those little museum placards you’d see on a school field trip instead of a 47 page booklet
Also, one of the things AI really can’t do right is smoke. And they wanna make a war movie with AI. Good luck man
Also, one of the things AI really can’t do right is smoke. And they wanna make a war movie with AI. Good luck man
One of the funniest trends online right now is how Americans are obsessed with China and the Chinese are obsessed with America
January 29, 2026 at 8:28 PM
One of the funniest trends online right now is how Americans are obsessed with China and the Chinese are obsessed with America
It’s that time again
January 29, 2026 at 3:59 PM
It’s that time again
Woke is back in a big way
January 29, 2026 at 2:22 PM
Woke is back in a big way
There’s a bit in one of the Wolfenstein games where two Nazis are having a conversation and talking about how horrible violence is and how their enemies should just have a nice debate with them. Then they immediately pivot to how excited they are to be assigned to the same death squad
We need to talk about the rise of "smol bean fascism" where you have all the guns and the immunity but the really scary people are the ones with whistles and phone cameras and they're giving you generational trauma and ptsd by filming you killing people for no reason
January 29, 2026 at 4:11 AM
There’s a bit in one of the Wolfenstein games where two Nazis are having a conversation and talking about how horrible violence is and how their enemies should just have a nice debate with them. Then they immediately pivot to how excited they are to be assigned to the same death squad
Elon Musk could announce he’s dissolving all his companies and killing himself and their stock would still go up
January 29, 2026 at 4:06 AM
Elon Musk could announce he’s dissolving all his companies and killing himself and their stock would still go up
“You know what would really get people to join our cause? Posting pictures of ordinary people and calling them rioters and terrorists. Oh and make sure we have our guys in the shot, but they’re turned away from the cameras in a way that makes them look cowardly”
Scrolling through the photos of Pam Bondi's "Minnesota rioters," it's just hero after hero. Every photo includes a cowardly DHS agent with their back to the camera.
Bondi thinks she's going to win the propaganda war with this shit, but it's never been more clear that they're losing.
Bondi thinks she's going to win the propaganda war with this shit, but it's never been more clear that they're losing.
January 28, 2026 at 9:35 PM
“You know what would really get people to join our cause? Posting pictures of ordinary people and calling them rioters and terrorists. Oh and make sure we have our guys in the shot, but they’re turned away from the cameras in a way that makes them look cowardly”
“Man I wish the Nintendo Switch could play more big 3rd party games, like Final Fantasy or Elden Ring or Dispatch”
*finger on the monkey’s paw curls*
*finger on the monkey’s paw curls*
January 28, 2026 at 8:19 PM
“Man I wish the Nintendo Switch could play more big 3rd party games, like Final Fantasy or Elden Ring or Dispatch”
*finger on the monkey’s paw curls*
*finger on the monkey’s paw curls*
Had a dream last night I was caught in the middle of a bunch of zookeepers trying to catch a pair of escaped lions and one of the lions had male pattern baldness
January 28, 2026 at 5:48 PM
Had a dream last night I was caught in the middle of a bunch of zookeepers trying to catch a pair of escaped lions and one of the lions had male pattern baldness
I don’t think that guy was even in the gravity falls fandom to begin with, it’s pretty common knowledge that Alex wanted the two sheriffs in the show to be gay and it caused a dispute with Disney who demanded he censor it
January 28, 2026 at 5:32 PM
I don’t think that guy was even in the gravity falls fandom to begin with, it’s pretty common knowledge that Alex wanted the two sheriffs in the show to be gay and it caused a dispute with Disney who demanded he censor it
There’s something darkly funny about Trump threatening to deport his own supporters if they don’t give him money. Obviously he’s not gonna do that, he doesn’t even write these emails, but these are aimed at old people who think AI shrimp Jesus is real and it probably scares the shit out of them
Trump’s fundraisers are now using the threat of dispatching ICE against citizens as an email engagement tactic.
January 28, 2026 at 3:39 PM
There’s something darkly funny about Trump threatening to deport his own supporters if they don’t give him money. Obviously he’s not gonna do that, he doesn’t even write these emails, but these are aimed at old people who think AI shrimp Jesus is real and it probably scares the shit out of them
Literally the day after Bovino was fired they tear gassed a kindergarten. They just swapped one asshole for another, nothing has changed. The NYT has the mentality of a baby playing peek a boo
The intense fallout from the killing of Alex Pretti has forced President Trump to publicly change course in Minneapolis.
Listen to our White House reporters discuss the changes on today's episode of "The Daily."
Listen to our White House reporters discuss the changes on today's episode of "The Daily."
Trump Changes Course in Minneapolis
The White House has been met with broad outcry over the killing of Alex Pretti, as well as pushback from Congress.
nyti.ms
January 28, 2026 at 2:38 PM
Literally the day after Bovino was fired they tear gassed a kindergarten. They just swapped one asshole for another, nothing has changed. The NYT has the mentality of a baby playing peek a boo
It’s so funny looking back at teenage me like bro why do you care so much about getting a girlfriend and getting into college you’re just gonna die at age 35 when world war 3 breaks out
January 28, 2026 at 2:12 PM
It’s so funny looking back at teenage me like bro why do you care so much about getting a girlfriend and getting into college you’re just gonna die at age 35 when world war 3 breaks out
RIP Leonardo DaVinci, you would have loved the helicopter
January 27, 2026 at 8:20 PM
RIP Leonardo DaVinci, you would have loved the helicopter
I’ve only ever seen pictures of jelly roll, never cared to listen to his music, and he looks like he has a side gig selling meth out of the back of a trailer. Like he’d be one of those side characters from Breaking Bad who sells drugs for Walt and Jesse
January 27, 2026 at 6:46 PM
I’ve only ever seen pictures of jelly roll, never cared to listen to his music, and he looks like he has a side gig selling meth out of the back of a trailer. Like he’d be one of those side characters from Breaking Bad who sells drugs for Walt and Jesse
All that work Nintendo’s putting into the virtual boy re-releases and they still don’t give us an option to play it without the headset.
January 27, 2026 at 2:28 PM
All that work Nintendo’s putting into the virtual boy re-releases and they still don’t give us an option to play it without the headset.
Lmao get fucked bozo
BREAKING Greg Bovino has been removed as Border Patrol "commander at large" and will return to El Centro Calif, where he is expected to retire soon. A stunning turnaround after Pretti killing. Bovino's traveling blue city crackdown is over www.theatlantic.com/politics/202...
Gregory Bovino Gets Demoted
The Border Patrol chief was the public face of a traveling immigration crackdown on cities governed by Democrats.
www.theatlantic.com
January 27, 2026 at 12:00 AM
Lmao get fucked bozo
They should invent a grocery store where you can buy the exact amount of produce you need
January 26, 2026 at 10:57 PM
They should invent a grocery store where you can buy the exact amount of produce you need