therealWokeKong
@donkeykonga.bsky.social
I’m woke kong from the hit game woke kong
Imagine being this cop. You crashed your car into a ditch, think to yourself “god I hope no one see this” and then you look up and there’s a whole army of teenagers laughing at you and filming
lmfao the students who walked out in Sacramento today got this bonus on their way downtown 🚓🥴🇲🇽✌️
February 1, 2026 at 2:28 AM
Imagine being this cop. You crashed your car into a ditch, think to yourself “god I hope no one see this” and then you look up and there’s a whole army of teenagers laughing at you and filming
Since nobody went to see the Melania movie I could just say there’s a post credit scene where Bill Clinton calls Trump and says “I’m forming a team” as Jeffrey Epstein walks out of the shadows and you’d have no choice but to believe me
January 31, 2026 at 11:29 PM
Since nobody went to see the Melania movie I could just say there’s a post credit scene where Bill Clinton calls Trump and says “I’m forming a team” as Jeffrey Epstein walks out of the shadows and you’d have no choice but to believe me
Ryuji: “nobody will vote for a criminal”
The rest of the phantom thieves:
The rest of the phantom thieves:
January 31, 2026 at 10:04 PM
Ryuji: “nobody will vote for a criminal”
The rest of the phantom thieves:
The rest of the phantom thieves:
Doesn’t snow much where I live so the fact that it’s happening for the second year in a row has people going apeshit
January 31, 2026 at 7:32 PM
Doesn’t snow much where I live so the fact that it’s happening for the second year in a row has people going apeshit
He’s dressed like a dollar store version of the milkshake Nazi
January 31, 2026 at 6:41 PM
He’s dressed like a dollar store version of the milkshake Nazi
“Abolish billionaires” should be the moderate position for 90% of America now that we’ve got hard evidence that pretty much every billionaire in the world was in cahoots with Epstein
January 31, 2026 at 6:29 PM
“Abolish billionaires” should be the moderate position for 90% of America now that we’ve got hard evidence that pretty much every billionaire in the world was in cahoots with Epstein
What stage of capitalism is it when the mere act of buying a product becomes so obtuse and obnoxious that you decide you’re not gonna buy said product
January 31, 2026 at 5:00 PM
What stage of capitalism is it when the mere act of buying a product becomes so obtuse and obnoxious that you decide you’re not gonna buy said product
Literally everything wrong with the world can be traced back to fucking Jeffrey Epstein. Jesus Christ.
So apparently I was right to shittalk m00t this week because it's been revealed that his boneheaded decision to establish /pol/ and subsequently ruin the website was allegedly born out of a one-on-one meeting with Jeffery Epstein.
January 31, 2026 at 4:36 AM
Literally everything wrong with the world can be traced back to fucking Jeffrey Epstein. Jesus Christ.
Maybe Epstein really did kill himself cause he had to hang out with Elon
ELON MUSK: your island is so freaking like, based. it's seriously like effing amazeballs. i'm going to basically be making like all of mars totally just like the same as how epic this is
STEPHEN HAWKING: jeff rey why, did you in vite, this lame, ass nerd
STEPHEN HAWKING: jeff rey why, did you in vite, this lame, ass nerd
January 31, 2026 at 12:32 AM
Maybe Epstein really did kill himself cause he had to hang out with Elon
I know it’s been said before but it’s just so insane how for years we figured all this child sex ring stuff was conducted in the shadows with secret code and it turned out to be the exact opposite. Elon sending emails saying “hey man can’t wait for one of your famous parties on Pedophile Isle”
January 30, 2026 at 11:10 PM
I know it’s been said before but it’s just so insane how for years we figured all this child sex ring stuff was conducted in the shadows with secret code and it turned out to be the exact opposite. Elon sending emails saying “hey man can’t wait for one of your famous parties on Pedophile Isle”
This Epstein coverup is so poorly done that part of me wants to believe there’s a guy in the DOJ sabotaging it. You release a file implying that not only did Trump sexually assault young girls but also threatened to kill them, and then an hour later you retract it and pretend like it doesn’t exist?
Uhhhh this file magically disappeared from the dump after being up for a while apparently
Okay, so impeach when?
January 30, 2026 at 7:13 PM
This Epstein coverup is so poorly done that part of me wants to believe there’s a guy in the DOJ sabotaging it. You release a file implying that not only did Trump sexually assault young girls but also threatened to kill them, and then an hour later you retract it and pretend like it doesn’t exist?
You could convince investors to jump off a cliff if you told them there was a startup AI company down there
Video game stocks are suddenly crashing today with the launch of Google's Project Genie as investors think games will start magically getting made with AI
➡️ ca.investing.com/news/stock-m...
#GoogleGemini #TakeTwo #CDProjektRED #Roblox #videogames
➡️ ca.investing.com/news/stock-m...
#GoogleGemini #TakeTwo #CDProjektRED #Roblox #videogames
January 30, 2026 at 6:02 PM
You could convince investors to jump off a cliff if you told them there was a startup AI company down there
The government has officially begun rounding up prominent members of the opposition, and yet I still have no faith that they’ll actually do anything about it. They could summarily execute Chuck Schumer and the DNC will post a snarky tweet about how this is a direction from Epstein and the economy
interested to learn what “at my direction” means because it sounds like “without a warrant”
January 30, 2026 at 4:01 PM
The government has officially begun rounding up prominent members of the opposition, and yet I still have no faith that they’ll actually do anything about it. They could summarily execute Chuck Schumer and the DNC will post a snarky tweet about how this is a direction from Epstein and the economy
If China ever invades America I’m defecting to the People’s Liberation Army. I don’t speak Chinese and I don’t know how to shoot a gun but I’m certain I could still do something to help liberate America
January 30, 2026 at 4:45 AM
If China ever invades America I’m defecting to the People’s Liberation Army. I don’t speak Chinese and I don’t know how to shoot a gun but I’m certain I could still do something to help liberate America
You guys don’t understand this is good news. We need the government to stay open otherwise it will stop mindlessly killing people. If it stops mindlessly killing people then all my investments in Palantir and Lockheed-Martin will be wasted!
Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer's office says a bipartisan funding deal has been reached to avert a government shutdown. GOP Senate leaders are now working to schedule a vote. https://cnn.it/4qMtoK9
January 30, 2026 at 4:41 AM
You guys don’t understand this is good news. We need the government to stay open otherwise it will stop mindlessly killing people. If it stops mindlessly killing people then all my investments in Palantir and Lockheed-Martin will be wasted!
The reason you can’t afford a house is because your senator is more concerned with who’s playing the halftime show than with doing his job btw
Tuberville: "Unfortunately we've got the Woke Bowl, because we're getting more and more woke. We got Bad Bunny or Bad Rabbit at halftime. I'll be watching the TPUSA halftime show. It's just unfortunate we've gotten to this point."
January 30, 2026 at 12:12 AM
The reason you can’t afford a house is because your senator is more concerned with who’s playing the halftime show than with doing his job btw
At first I kept asking myself why specifically Armenians and then it hit me: Dr Oz is turkish. To us it’s a weirdly specific call out, to him it’s just plain old racism
dr oz copy+pasting the somali daycare fraud thing onto glendale armenians is one of the worst tactical errors ive ever seen an admin make. very few people in this city care less if they live or die than the guys in track suits smoking 5 packs a day up and down brand ave
January 29, 2026 at 11:46 PM
At first I kept asking myself why specifically Armenians and then it hit me: Dr Oz is turkish. To us it’s a weirdly specific call out, to him it’s just plain old racism
Fat balding middle aged men should have better things to do with their time than upload YouTube videos about how “gay culture will end because of Nintendo games”
January 29, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Fat balding middle aged men should have better things to do with their time than upload YouTube videos about how “gay culture will end because of Nintendo games”
The bit with the Common Sense pamphlets looks so bad. It looks like they’re picking up those little museum placards you’d see on a school field trip instead of a 47 page booklet
Also, one of the things AI really can’t do right is smoke. And they wanna make a war movie with AI. Good luck man
Also, one of the things AI really can’t do right is smoke. And they wanna make a war movie with AI. Good luck man
First trailer for Darren Aranofsky's new AI animated series 'On This Day... 1776'
• Tells short narrative stories about the Revolutionary War
• Uses Gen AI tools, including tech made by Google DeepMind
• Has SAG voice actors
• Tells short narrative stories about the Revolutionary War
• Uses Gen AI tools, including tech made by Google DeepMind
• Has SAG voice actors
January 29, 2026 at 9:20 PM
The bit with the Common Sense pamphlets looks so bad. It looks like they’re picking up those little museum placards you’d see on a school field trip instead of a 47 page booklet
Also, one of the things AI really can’t do right is smoke. And they wanna make a war movie with AI. Good luck man
Also, one of the things AI really can’t do right is smoke. And they wanna make a war movie with AI. Good luck man
One of the funniest trends online right now is how Americans are obsessed with China and the Chinese are obsessed with America
January 29, 2026 at 8:28 PM
One of the funniest trends online right now is how Americans are obsessed with China and the Chinese are obsessed with America
It’s that time again
January 29, 2026 at 3:59 PM
It’s that time again
Woke is back in a big way
January 29, 2026 at 2:22 PM
Woke is back in a big way
There’s a bit in one of the Wolfenstein games where two Nazis are having a conversation and talking about how horrible violence is and how their enemies should just have a nice debate with them. Then they immediately pivot to how excited they are to be assigned to the same death squad
We need to talk about the rise of "smol bean fascism" where you have all the guns and the immunity but the really scary people are the ones with whistles and phone cameras and they're giving you generational trauma and ptsd by filming you killing people for no reason
January 29, 2026 at 4:11 AM
There’s a bit in one of the Wolfenstein games where two Nazis are having a conversation and talking about how horrible violence is and how their enemies should just have a nice debate with them. Then they immediately pivot to how excited they are to be assigned to the same death squad
Elon Musk could announce he’s dissolving all his companies and killing himself and their stock would still go up
January 29, 2026 at 4:06 AM
Elon Musk could announce he’s dissolving all his companies and killing himself and their stock would still go up
“You know what would really get people to join our cause? Posting pictures of ordinary people and calling them rioters and terrorists. Oh and make sure we have our guys in the shot, but they’re turned away from the cameras in a way that makes them look cowardly”
Scrolling through the photos of Pam Bondi's "Minnesota rioters," it's just hero after hero. Every photo includes a cowardly DHS agent with their back to the camera.
Bondi thinks she's going to win the propaganda war with this shit, but it's never been more clear that they're losing.
Bondi thinks she's going to win the propaganda war with this shit, but it's never been more clear that they're losing.
January 28, 2026 at 9:35 PM
“You know what would really get people to join our cause? Posting pictures of ordinary people and calling them rioters and terrorists. Oh and make sure we have our guys in the shot, but they’re turned away from the cameras in a way that makes them look cowardly”