Simon
@ellisuk.com
Moments of outstanding brightness followed by periods of quiet contemplation / anxiety / dullness. If you're a bigot, nazi or general shitehawk of a human being you will be blocked. Otherwise let's see what's out there. Also remember fix your heart or die.
Reposted by Simon
Just farted so hard I defected to Reform.
January 15, 2026 at 5:51 PM
Just farted so hard I defected to Reform.
Reposted by Simon
*adds to the pen collection*
January 15, 2026 at 1:33 PM
*adds to the pen collection*
Reposted by Simon
how exciting, 647 new presenting gigs just opened up at the BBC
Amol Rajan to leave BBC Radio 4’s Today show to start own company
Amol Rajan to leave BBC Radio 4’s Today show to start own company
Presenter wants to ‘unleash my inner entrepreneur’ in creator economy but will still host University Challenge
The presenter Amol Rajan is to leave BBC Radio 4’s Today programme, revealing he will “unleash my inner entrepreneur” by creating a company focusing on the creator economy.
In a surprise announcement, he said he would continue to host the BBC’s University Challenge quizshow and make his Radical podcast with the corporation. Continue reading...
www.theguardian.com
January 15, 2026 at 1:22 PM
how exciting, 647 new presenting gigs just opened up at the BBC
Reposted by Simon
I reposted this immediately when it first crossed my timeline because it is so accurate
Now I'm quote posting so you can see it again
Now I'm quote posting so you can see it again
Columbo in his first episode looks like a dog that's just come back from the groomer
January 15, 2026 at 10:36 AM
I reposted this immediately when it first crossed my timeline because it is so accurate
Now I'm quote posting so you can see it again
Now I'm quote posting so you can see it again
May one suggest this which we had delivered yesterday for our 1.5litre tea pot:
January 15, 2026 at 10:16 AM
May one suggest this which we had delivered yesterday for our 1.5litre tea pot:
Reposted by Simon
Whoever came up with the name “Ewok Powell” to describe Tommy Robinson should take the rest of the year off.
January 14, 2026 at 3:28 PM
Whoever came up with the name “Ewok Powell” to describe Tommy Robinson should take the rest of the year off.
@mbalazo.bsky.social looks absolutely terrified, were you doing your Nadine Dorries impression while high-fiving him?
January 13, 2026 at 4:00 PM
@mbalazo.bsky.social looks absolutely terrified, were you doing your Nadine Dorries impression while high-fiving him?
Reposted by Simon
SHAFT!
WHO says low taxes are making sugary drinks, alcohol more affordable reut.rs/3NgS5Qi
WHO says low taxes are making sugary drinks, alcohol more affordable
Sugary drinks and alcohol are not being sufficiently taxed and remain affordable, making it harder to tackle the chronic health problems caused by these beverages, according to two reports from the World Health Organization.
reut.rs
January 13, 2026 at 3:32 PM
SHAFT!
Well let’s see what our resident professor of ethics thinks.
January 13, 2026 at 10:18 AM
Well let’s see what our resident professor of ethics thinks.
That would just be from Bernie.
January 12, 2026 at 9:57 PM
That would just be from Bernie.
You know with our government involved it’ll end up like this:
a red car is parked next to a trailer that says u-tow on it
Alt: Sideshow Bob stepping on a load of rakes.
media.tenor.com
January 12, 2026 at 9:56 PM
You know with our government involved it’ll end up like this:
Errr yes, of course you’re right there’s no listening device in your pen.
“Team Omega, he’s rumbled us go for extraction of the mighty asset that isn’t a sword”
“Team Omega, he’s rumbled us go for extraction of the mighty asset that isn’t a sword”
January 12, 2026 at 9:53 PM
Errr yes, of course you’re right there’s no listening device in your pen.
“Team Omega, he’s rumbled us go for extraction of the mighty asset that isn’t a sword”
“Team Omega, he’s rumbled us go for extraction of the mighty asset that isn’t a sword”
Reposted by Simon
Reform UK is transparently absorbing expired tories like a jellyfish digesting used condoms.
January 12, 2026 at 9:48 PM
Reform UK is transparently absorbing expired tories like a jellyfish digesting used condoms.
No new pictures where are you mentally?
January 12, 2026 at 9:42 PM
No new pictures where are you mentally?
I couldn’t possibly dear lady, we haven’t been formally introduced.
January 12, 2026 at 8:11 PM
I couldn’t possibly dear lady, we haven’t been formally introduced.
Reposted by Simon
This is funnier than anything Gervais has done in 15 years.
Wanda Sykes presented an award at the Golden Globes to Ricky Gervais, who didn’t show up. ‘He would like to thank God,’ she said, ‘and the trans community,”
Wanda Sykes Uses Ricky Gervais’s Absence to Thank the Trans Community
Wanda Sykes presented an award at the Golden Globes to Ricky Gervais, who didn’t show up. ‘He would like to thank God,’ she said, ‘and the trans community,”
www.vulture.com
January 12, 2026 at 2:59 PM
This is funnier than anything Gervais has done in 15 years.
Reposted by Simon
I want that mouse toy on my desk by tomorrow morning!
January 11, 2026 at 9:09 PM
I want that mouse toy on my desk by tomorrow morning!
Nope:
Mug count x 1
Tea drunk x 4
Mug count x 1
Tea drunk x 4
January 11, 2026 at 7:17 PM
Nope:
Mug count x 1
Tea drunk x 4
Mug count x 1
Tea drunk x 4