martin
banner
emdoubleues.bsky.social
martin
@emdoubleues.bsky.social
270 followers 540 following 1.2K posts
waging vibe warfare
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
Pinned
[Carrie Bradshaw voiceover] I couldn’t help but wonder…was the hamburger helping me, or was I helping the hamburger?
what’s he got in there? looks a bit heavy to be pierogis
Reposted by martin
Robert Cheney, the Wyoming congressman?
‘sometimes on rainy days i can still feel the pain from the banana pepper fragments in my chest’
i don’t know how the defense attorneys can keep a straight face during cross examination
Defense is now questioning Lairmore on cross-examination. They show a video still of the sandwich and wrapper on the ground, post-throw.

"Do you recognize that sandwich?" the attorney asks.

Lairmore won't confirm.

"I did not go back to collect it," he says.
guy got Post Traumatic Sandwich Disorder
Border Patrol agent Lairmore testifies that he was not injured by the sandwich, but he felt the impact through his ballistic vest.

The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says.

"I could smell the onions and mustard."
on the one hand the whole thing is a waste of time, but on the other hand this would never have come out if it hadn’t gone to trial. I feel bad for the sandwich thrower but this is incredible content
i feel bad for DC sandwich guy but i’m so glad this went to trial lol
incredible
Defense wants gag gifts provided to the officer after the incident included in discovery. One is a plushie sandwich and another is a patch that says, if I heard correctly, “Felony Footlong.” Sounds like we won’t end up seeing these physically but will hear them described.
You’re laughing? He could smell the onions and mustard, and you’re laughing?
You’re laughing? He could smell the onions and mustard, and you’re laughing?
Reposted by martin
[Cheney watching the feather get catapulted off the scale as they put his heart down on it] “is that good?”
wait what if cheney died from eating the tainted trader joe’s cajun pasta
Robert Cheney, the Wyoming congressman?
my aloof wife saw you from across the bar and was wondering if you want your campaign managed
[the NY Post scrambling to make a last-ditch scandal:]

"umm, uhhh, his aloof wife Rama Duwaji secretly ran the campaign"
[Cheney watching the feather get catapulted off the scale as they put his heart down on it] “is that good?”
we used to just call this “sparkling water” 😭
Reposted by martin
personally i would have chosen a more relaxed font than the one that just screams CALM at you
when his time finally comes* they’re going to have to put him in an unmarked grave or they’re gonna have a line out the door of people wanting to piss on it (myself included)

*for the avoidance of doubt: i am referring only to the fact that all life is finite, nothing more
Q: Americans have been watching videos of ICE tackling a young mother, tear gas being used in a Chicago residential neighborhood, and the smashing of car windows. Have some of these raids gone too far?"

Trump: "No. I think they haven't gone far enough”
wait i’m going to make bank starting an import-export business whose sole purpose is shipping jars of giardiniera from chicago to the vatican
I love how people talk about the Chicago Pope referring to Pope Leo but it’s more fun to pretend we have another Avignon schism and there’s a parallel Chicago Papacy right now
surely not for lack of trying, given that crowd
oh my god??
Some people are just straight up unrecognizable. Like here's a picture of Kristi Noem from just 6 years ago.