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kittybot // Peze

@farorenightclaw.bsky.social

690 followers 700 following 2K posts

Artist, autistic, crazy, kinky, queer, polyamorous, leftist/activist, trans/nonbinary, furry/nonhuman, robot/coyote, etc. 🔐Chubi 💙Hale Art: #kittybotart #art #noAI #artist #nsfw farorenightclaw@FA/Patreon. 🔞 Minors DNI

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · Nov 5

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Hi, I'm kittybot! I've been drawing furry art for a living since 2006 with a focus on NSFW and fetish art. You can find me other places:
farorenightclaw.com
patreon.com/farorenightc...
furaffinity.net/user/faroren...
My public Discord server, DM for a link!
My art tag: #kittybotart

💙💙💙

A digital flat-colored image in the style of a Telegram sticker featuring a blue, white, and silver anthropomorphic tiger robot with a pink, blue, and blonde gradient long mohawk flopped to one side. It has little antenna, glowing blue eyes, a glowing keyhole shape on a metal 'collar' that is part of its chest, and many piercings. It is smiling and waving.

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

-and can cause panic attacks, overwhelming emotions or overstimulation, shutting down such as going nonverbal or heavily dissociating or ceasing to respond to outside input, and other extreme responses. It's not 'I don't like that'. It's 'that thing causes me to have a mental health emergency'.

kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

As an addendum, I really loathe that the term 'triggered' has come to be either a joke to cruel people or meaning 'uncomfortable' to people misunderstanding the term, willfully or not. Being triggered in a PTSD or CPTSD sense means something that causes a flashback, which incapacitates the person-

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

-aggression. Again, happy to answer questions about all this! Do you have anything you want to share about your experiences with mental illness? Perhaps you have a stigmatized or poorly understood situation you'd like people to know more about? Feel free to reply here or QRP any of these posts.

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

-though survivors of violent events in which they had to defend themselves with extreme measures, such as fighting in a war, can cause aggressive reflexes when triggered. People who were abused and so forth are much more likely to respond with panic, fear, or overwhelming emotions than outward-

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

- they are. Heightened alertness, fawning or freezing, permeable or rigid boundaries, repeated abusive relationships, and avoidance of certain things or situations to extreme measures are all common. The 'C' in CPTSD stands for 'complex'. People with PTSD or CPTSD also are not typically dangerous-

kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

-and other things that might affect someone over time. It typically features 'emotional flashbacks' over the intense hallucination-like event replays of traditional PTSD, where the person experiences all the same emotions as if the trauma was happening again, while being aware of where and when -

kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

-the left and right sides of my body, some things need to be done a certain number of times, etc) as well as obsessive thinking sometimes (mostly a fear of death). CPTSD results from long-term trauma such as abuse, a long terminal illness in someone close to you, ongoing military deployment -

kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

Anxiety is something I think a lot of people already understand, and while OCD and PTSD aren't as well understood as they could be, I can explain them more briefly by saying I experience 'just right' style OCD (things having to be arranged just so, I have to do things the same number of times on-

kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

-by judicious use of emergency medication and support from my found family, typically preventing them before they can get too bad. But again, I haven't really had any acute episodes for months! Hoping it stays this way. But I'm also happy to answer questions about bipolar or schizospec experiences!

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

Basically, not fun! It's extremely unlikely that any of you would interact with me during an acute episode, as I tend to take myself offline as soon as one starts and only interact with my partners. There are certain tells that let me know something is coming and I've learned to 'surf the episodes'-

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

-of having a ton of energy but no way to use it to the point of physical discomfort or even pain, tremor, cold sweats, and frustrating feelings of never being able to accomplish enough in one day or an intensified fear of death, a feeling that my 'time is running out' and I'm not using it properly.

kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

- hallucinations both visually as well as the internal voice becoming aggressive towards me (never towards others), and confused thoughts. When I'm manic it can also include racing thoughts, pressured speech (if you've ever heard an autistic person infodump, imagine that but much worse), a feeling-

kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

-once recently when I accidentally stopped taking lamotrigine for a few days (rearranged the medicine cabinet, I take all my pills in a specific order) AND missed a dose of Auvelity at the same time, oops. Acute episodes typically involve extreme fear, sobbing, delusional paranoia, intense -

kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

- but these are completely manageable symptoms and rarely impede my ability to function. I do sometimes have acute psychotic episodes that rarely last more than a few hours but have sometimes lasted weeks, unfortunately. I have not had one since starting my current regimen of medication, other than-

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

- symptoms are a constant: mild hallucinations such as crawling patterns or walls breathing or tracers, hearing an (internal, that's an option!) voice that narrates everything I'm doing, anxiety and sometimes mild paranoia that people secretly dislike me or are judging me or fear of the dark -

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

- but a psychotic person is much more likely to be a danger to themselves (through accident or self-harm while misunderstanding things happening to them) than they are to others. It rarely causes aggression, instead much more frequently causing fear and extreme anxiety. For my, low-level psychotic -

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

Back to schizoaffective disorder - psychosis is a very poorly misunderstood state, with the media characterizing it as dangerous or completely incapacitating. Hallucinations of all sorts, delusions, paranoia, disordered speech, flight of ideas, and intense fear can all be signs of psychosis -

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

- rather than the dopamine system, and additionally have tried cariprazine (Vraylar) and lumateperone (Caplyta), and while they didn't work out for me personally, I think the novel antipsychotics show a lot of promise.

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

-I was misdiagnosed with ADHD (oops, all autism) and given methylphenidate (Ritalin) and, very briefly, dextroamphetamine (Dexedrine). I'm happy to answer questions about any of these to the best of my ability. I'm a huge fan of any of the newer antipsychotics that treat the glutamate system -

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

-regimen consists of Auvelity, gabapentin, lamotrigine (Lamictal), prazosin (Minipress), and additionally lorazepam (Ativan) as needed. In the past I've been on lithium, sertraline (Zoloft), escitalopram (Lexapro), quetiapine (Seroquel), aripiprazole (Abilify), risperdione (Risperdal), and as a kid-

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

I was previously misdiagnosed with bipolar I, and before that bipolar II, and before that unipolar depression. Mismanagement of medication based on these misdiagnoses meant that I've spent the last 15 years or so on a medication merry-go-round trying to find the ones that worked best. My current-

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

Schizoaffective disorder: this is kind of the halfway point between schizophrenia disorder and bipolar disorder. It means you have bipolar mood symptoms but experience psychosis both in and out of manic or depressive episodes. This is a relatively new diagnosis for me, it's just about a year old.

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

-because it's so highly stigmatized and poorly understood, especially online. However, if you're curious, feel free to send me a DM or hmu on Telegram (same handle as here). Some facts related to my diagnoses:

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 17h

In honor of #WorldMentalHealth day, I'd like to share some of my knowledge, and make it clear that I'm open for questions about or guidance with just about anything I have experience with! I personally feature schizoaffective disorder, GAD, OCD, CTPSD, & a new diagnosis I'm a bit hesitant to share-

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kittybot // Peze @farorenightclaw.bsky.social · 22h

The way you draw fur has always been so appealing to me.