Going to be one of those men who shares Stewart Lee articles on Bluesky www.thenerve.news/p/stewart-le...

We're ruining (or improving) Bond posters on @b3ta.com this week

If you are confronted with a multitude of human rights abuses and then dismiss them because you think telling a knock knock joke is art, then you are a cunt. At least the other performers were honest and did it for the money.

There are a few tells for me. The one that sticks out currently is to open with a flowery paragraph that's nothing to do with the subject but about a related experience. A review of Pac-Man starts with "Imagine a maze, the human mind endless exploring, the ghosts of our past..." 😂

Asked my wife to pass me a blanket, "Certainly, your highness. Do you need anything else?"

New knees, ankles, back, and wrists. A biscuit, six hours more sleep, the temperature raised by six degrees, sunshine, a lottery win, the world's six most evil people to die. I could go on.

This is not the episode we hoped to deliver this week, but this the episode we are giving you! Please bear with us as we pull an episode out of our arse! It’s packed with impromptu games and gripes aplenty!

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can you do me a solid and buy one (1) of my stickers?
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Today's Hallowmeme is bit of a rush job as we're about to head to the coast so I can throw rocks at the North Sea.

Carrawburgh Mithraeum, Hadrian’s Wall; the shyest member of the contu-baaa-nium
#RomanFortThursday

What a wonderful idea. We can offer it as a £500 upgrade.

It retails for £2,999, so get your pre-orders in. It's sure to be the next big thing in silicon valley.

The best part is, there's no actual AI, it punches you in the face whenever you say something. Anything.

But it DOES come with a bluetooth-enabled app that anyone can use if they see you wearing it. Then a member of the public can punch you in the face even if you haven't opened your shit mouth.

I've invented a marvellous new device. It's a piece of headwear for CEOs and tech-twunts. It's basically a boxing glove on a spring that you strap to your forehead, whenever the cutting-edge AI detects that you've said something stupid, it punches you in the face. I call it the iGoober.

Yes!

The last thing he did of note was the Beetlejuice sequel. I suppose as long as Tim Burton is around he'll have work.

Danny Elfman is another Disney mainstay who keeps getting work despite being quite a disgusting piece of work. He lost a case recently after he was accused of exposing himself and paying a woman a hefty amount to keep it quiet.

Saw it twice in theatres, it's so hokey and daft, but I really enjoy it.

Jimmy Nail

You know what, it’s one of those days, have Cookie Monster kaiju again.

Morning Sheep Time

A full insertion followed by moving the sheep into the bottom field. We have ovine neighbours. I hope nobody tries to jump the fence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNL9-2wyAPU

#Defaidodon #SheepOfMastodon #sheep

New Viz in the shops today. And there's "shy bladder" shenanigans with former president of France General Charles de Gaulle, in 'De Gaulle Bladder"

Since we're all in the mood for taking the piss out of the Tories today, play @mattround.com's excellent game from years ago. It's fun.

My mutant superpower is also being able to make a mug of coffee last for nine hours.

From this day in 2017.