ThePatrick (Patrick Coffman)
hatoriki.bsky.social
ThePatrick (Patrick Coffman)
@hatoriki.bsky.social
160 followers 120 following 650 posts
Hey there, I'm still ThePatrick who wrote stupid guides on GameFAQs eons ago I'm a mailman now, so I'm just tired all the time 日本語が分かんないから~という海外の龍が如くファン為に攻略を作造ということで何時間も無駄にした安保な親父です~ 宜しくお願いしま~す
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"It's-a me!!! Mike Yanagita!"

"Dear Mike

Please don't come to the castle.
Why don't you sit over there? I prefer that.

--Princess Toadstool *PEACH!*"
I wish someone would ever be able to actually get people to understand that the whole "well. *I'm* gen (advo gobbledegook)" shit is just that

Shit

All shit from our advo monster overlords

Never been real

Just fake-ass bullshit to fuck the masses
That poor turtle

Every one of us of a huge age bracket bounced on that kid for like 90 hours

And laughed

We saw "Mario x ... Wtf I dunno, ocean block and a null space???? How can I express this?" from the console

And we sat and laughed and waved 'em into the air

And we did it just like that
Hint: it turns out, they hate women

They say they love and protect them*, but they literally just hate them and want them to be resources

Objects

Things to fulfill a function

*--already a sexist idea tbh
Hey I guess nobody will see this or reply but I missed the actual reveal of whoever-the-heck had a Nazi tattoo and I see all these jokes and no context

I guess I'm saying, I'm old and stuff and dunno who we're dunking on
Reposted by ThePatrick (Patrick Coffman)
I'd also like to say I pretty much only enjoy the short stories of Stephen King or Phillip K Dick and not so much their full novels

Sometimes, short stories are better, is all I'm saying, I guess
(I mention "a treat FOR the dead" because that's what it seems the narrator is doing, rotating the corpses for study and not letting them lie all tangled-together in a tank)
I mean there still is a problem with my faulty translation

Japanese isn't as specific as our language and good writers know how to exploit this

"死者の奢り" could also mean "giving a treat to the dead"

Which happens in the ... I don't wanna give anything away but ... Maybe hard to translate
Same goes for fellow Japanese Nobel laureate, Ōe Kenzaburō

I think his best were 死者の奢り (kinda hard to translate unless you're stupidly word-for-word literal; it's kinda like a "special sneak preview from the dead" or something) and 飼育 (animal husbandry)
Every one by Kawabata (palm-of-hand short stories 掌の小説) but especially "A Sunny Place 日向"
Reposted by ThePatrick (Patrick Coffman)
My point is that Arnold Schwarzenegger needs to play an Irishman
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The Louvre thieves caught on camera!
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Wake up, babe, the least subtle visual metaphor in history just dropped
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It’d be so funny if he dies and the white house just looks like this from now on
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it's cool how we have a government that 4chans constantly on twitter and shows off videos of the president shitting on americans while also being like, "make sure nobody sees us destroying the white house"

this is super normal stuff for highly stable nations
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The newspaper that mainstreamed Chris Rufo, Ben Shapiro, Bari Weiss, and Charlie Kirk renews its calls to meet fascists halfway:
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dont understand all the hype around The Brothers Karamazov. there's no progression system at all. who am i supposed to identify with if none of the characters is improving their stats and acquiring better equipment
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Oh yeah, that's an alternate universe or something

Hey! I could write for Marvel!
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Let’s not jump to any conclusions here. Limp Bizkit sucks so badly they could have written this
Sad news: it seems like Limp Bizkit almost certainly wrote this eulogy for their dead bassist with ChatGPT. This is no way at all to memorialize a bandmate. If I was Sam’s family, I would tell the band to take this message and stick it up their yeah.