HeyRyan
@heyryanhess.bsky.social
90's Transfer Kid from VA to MN (w/ detours in NC, FL, & TX). Charlotte 49er. Snowball QB. Chose Charmander. Relentlessly optimistic. Prepared to be lucky. Paying it forward in local gov. Dynasty ender of the Hess name.
Views and hot takes are my own.
Views and hot takes are my own.
Pinned
Choosing to let them rest isn't giving up; it's stepping in to take their pain and make it your own. You trade their physical struggle for your emotional heartbreak. That is the final, most selfless act of a guardian.
Good night, Valentino. You were such a good boy.
Good night, Valentino. You were such a good boy.
In another life, I would have been a car color name writer.
There are few joys as stumbing across a ridiculously named color. It's like reading crayons colors (like metalic seaweed) on spec sheets.
There's something so fantastic about the exaggerated names, of anything, really.
There are few joys as stumbing across a ridiculously named color. It's like reading crayons colors (like metalic seaweed) on spec sheets.
There's something so fantastic about the exaggerated names, of anything, really.
February 15, 2026 at 5:19 PM
In another life, I would have been a car color name writer.
There are few joys as stumbing across a ridiculously named color. It's like reading crayons colors (like metalic seaweed) on spec sheets.
There's something so fantastic about the exaggerated names, of anything, really.
There are few joys as stumbing across a ridiculously named color. It's like reading crayons colors (like metalic seaweed) on spec sheets.
There's something so fantastic about the exaggerated names, of anything, really.
two wheels good
update: bike riders against police brutality includes both motorcycles and bicycles
February 14, 2026 at 7:54 PM
two wheels good
Reposted by HeyRyan
I'm pretty proud of this poem I made out of the euphemisms that companies used to describe the ICE occupation in corporate communications. Also read the whole story: racketmn.com/corporate-co...
February 12, 2026 at 9:56 PM
I'm pretty proud of this poem I made out of the euphemisms that companies used to describe the ICE occupation in corporate communications. Also read the whole story: racketmn.com/corporate-co...
Reposted by HeyRyan
I just wanna stomp a goomb
Ride my yoshi
Grab a shroom
Break some bricks
Slide a pole
Jump a pit
Save the goal
Hit a block
Spin a fire
Lose a life
Climb up higher
Chase a star
Kick a shell
Beat bowser
Save the belle
Ride my yoshi
Grab a shroom
Break some bricks
Slide a pole
Jump a pit
Save the goal
Hit a block
Spin a fire
Lose a life
Climb up higher
Chase a star
Kick a shell
Beat bowser
Save the belle
February 13, 2026 at 7:16 AM
I just wanna stomp a goomb
Ride my yoshi
Grab a shroom
Break some bricks
Slide a pole
Jump a pit
Save the goal
Hit a block
Spin a fire
Lose a life
Climb up higher
Chase a star
Kick a shell
Beat bowser
Save the belle
Ride my yoshi
Grab a shroom
Break some bricks
Slide a pole
Jump a pit
Save the goal
Hit a block
Spin a fire
Lose a life
Climb up higher
Chase a star
Kick a shell
Beat bowser
Save the belle
Reposted by HeyRyan
we need to talk about that Ring Super Bowl ad
February 10, 2026 at 8:18 PM
we need to talk about that Ring Super Bowl ad
Reposted by HeyRyan
Thank you to members of the Minneapolis Volunteer Public Works Department. We know you got into this to look cool and meet women, but you're actually making a real difference in people's lives.
Today we cleared the NW corner of 28th and Lyndale (plus bus stop), which required that plus pick axe and took three people two hours (a lot of stuff can be done much more easily/quickly!).
February 10, 2026 at 1:05 AM
Thank you to members of the Minneapolis Volunteer Public Works Department. We know you got into this to look cool and meet women, but you're actually making a real difference in people's lives.
Reposted by HeyRyan
Sam Darnold winning a Super Bowl the second you let him go ... unfathomable runout
February 9, 2026 at 5:22 AM
Sam Darnold winning a Super Bowl the second you let him go ... unfathomable runout
Reposted by HeyRyan
What an amazing matchup this us. This is going to be a FIGHT
February 8, 2026 at 11:37 PM
What an amazing matchup this us. This is going to be a FIGHT
Reposted by HeyRyan
Every single SUV.
EVERY single vehicle with out of town plates..
EVERY single vehicle with out of town plates..
a cartoon character named luigi is driving a toy car on a race track
ALT: a cartoon character named luigi is driving a toy car on a race track
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2026 at 3:23 AM
Every single SUV.
EVERY single vehicle with out of town plates..
EVERY single vehicle with out of town plates..
Reposted by HeyRyan
Very well delivered
Ossoff: "You're seeing what I'm seeing, right? The president posting about the Obamas like a Klansman."
February 8, 2026 at 1:30 PM
Very well delivered
Choosing to let them rest isn't giving up; it's stepping in to take their pain and make it your own. You trade their physical struggle for your emotional heartbreak. That is the final, most selfless act of a guardian.
Good night, Valentino. You were such a good boy.
Good night, Valentino. You were such a good boy.
February 8, 2026 at 2:32 PM
Choosing to let them rest isn't giving up; it's stepping in to take their pain and make it your own. You trade their physical struggle for your emotional heartbreak. That is the final, most selfless act of a guardian.
Good night, Valentino. You were such a good boy.
Good night, Valentino. You were such a good boy.
Reposted by HeyRyan
Reminder about "They're here ILLEGALLY"
Being undocumented is a civil offense, not a criminal one. That's why they're not entitled to a court-appointed lawyer, why it's "civil detention" not a jail, why it's not in the criminal code, etc. Other civil infractions are things like parking tickets.
Being undocumented is a civil offense, not a criminal one. That's why they're not entitled to a court-appointed lawyer, why it's "civil detention" not a jail, why it's not in the criminal code, etc. Other civil infractions are things like parking tickets.
February 1, 2026 at 5:36 PM
Reminder about "They're here ILLEGALLY"
Being undocumented is a civil offense, not a criminal one. That's why they're not entitled to a court-appointed lawyer, why it's "civil detention" not a jail, why it's not in the criminal code, etc. Other civil infractions are things like parking tickets.
Being undocumented is a civil offense, not a criminal one. That's why they're not entitled to a court-appointed lawyer, why it's "civil detention" not a jail, why it's not in the criminal code, etc. Other civil infractions are things like parking tickets.
Reposted by HeyRyan
Trevor Noah: "If things keep getting worse in America, can I come live with you?"
Bad Bunny: "I have some news for you, Trevor. Puerto Rico is part of America."
Bad Bunny: "I have some news for you, Trevor. Puerto Rico is part of America."
February 2, 2026 at 2:13 AM
Trevor Noah: "If things keep getting worse in America, can I come live with you?"
Bad Bunny: "I have some news for you, Trevor. Puerto Rico is part of America."
Bad Bunny: "I have some news for you, Trevor. Puerto Rico is part of America."
Reposted by HeyRyan
Bad Bunny at the Grammys: "Before I say thanks to God, I want to say ICE out. We're not savage, we're not animals, we're not aliens, we are humans, and we are Americans."
February 2, 2026 at 2:18 AM
Bad Bunny at the Grammys: "Before I say thanks to God, I want to say ICE out. We're not savage, we're not animals, we're not aliens, we are humans, and we are Americans."
Reposted by HeyRyan
I buy a ton of books because I'm not good at predicting what I'll want to read next, and I like to have options.
February 1, 2026 at 2:19 PM
I buy a ton of books because I'm not good at predicting what I'll want to read next, and I like to have options.
Reposted by HeyRyan
What gives you hope in these awful times?
I’ll tell you my answer: the people of Minneapolis.
I’ll tell you my answer: the people of Minneapolis.
February 1, 2026 at 5:02 PM
What gives you hope in these awful times?
I’ll tell you my answer: the people of Minneapolis.
I’ll tell you my answer: the people of Minneapolis.
this is who runs this account
February 1, 2026 at 5:07 PM
this is who runs this account
Reposted by HeyRyan
The Pro Bowl is & has been lame for many many moons so here's an idea no one's ever had before -
LOSER BOWL: The two worst teams play each other, winner gets the 1st overall pick
LOSER BOWL: The two worst teams play each other, winner gets the 1st overall pick
February 1, 2026 at 12:02 AM
The Pro Bowl is & has been lame for many many moons so here's an idea no one's ever had before -
LOSER BOWL: The two worst teams play each other, winner gets the 1st overall pick
LOSER BOWL: The two worst teams play each other, winner gets the 1st overall pick
Reposted by HeyRyan
Dems should demand a full ICE withdrawal from Minneapolis as a condition for any deal. Please, just give us this. Get them out
February 1, 2026 at 3:09 AM
Dems should demand a full ICE withdrawal from Minneapolis as a condition for any deal. Please, just give us this. Get them out
Reposted by HeyRyan
Alt texted so everyone can enjoy your post.
🙂
🙂
December 12, 2024 at 3:51 AM
Alt texted so everyone can enjoy your post.
🙂
🙂
Reposted by HeyRyan
Lawyers can't reach clients in ICE detention. I've heard it anecdotally, but scale of issue is horrifying.
Bloomberg Law is a legal trade pub so many may miss this. Screenshot from their CA newsletter summarizes "bleak" situation for justice and rule of law.
news.bloomberglaw.com/litigation/l...
Bloomberg Law is a legal trade pub so many may miss this. Screenshot from their CA newsletter summarizes "bleak" situation for justice and rule of law.
news.bloomberglaw.com/litigation/l...
January 31, 2026 at 9:15 PM
Lawyers can't reach clients in ICE detention. I've heard it anecdotally, but scale of issue is horrifying.
Bloomberg Law is a legal trade pub so many may miss this. Screenshot from their CA newsletter summarizes "bleak" situation for justice and rule of law.
news.bloomberglaw.com/litigation/l...
Bloomberg Law is a legal trade pub so many may miss this. Screenshot from their CA newsletter summarizes "bleak" situation for justice and rule of law.
news.bloomberglaw.com/litigation/l...
Reposted by HeyRyan
Personally, I think that anyone who was sending friendly emails back and forth with Jeffrey Epstein or attending events with him post-2008 should be thrown into an active volcano.
January 31, 2026 at 10:52 PM
Personally, I think that anyone who was sending friendly emails back and forth with Jeffrey Epstein or attending events with him post-2008 should be thrown into an active volcano.
One helpful add-on to this? Yell "SEE YA DOG" as you unsubscribe. Remarkable results.
January 31, 2026 at 11:12 PM
One helpful add-on to this? Yell "SEE YA DOG" as you unsubscribe. Remarkable results.