Max Normal
@jalapenoenema.bsky.social
Prone to mild eccentricity, binge-drinking and casual violence
Pinned
Did Carl Douglas ever explain WHY everyone was Kung Fu fighting?
I don't tell half as many people to fuck off as I'd like to.
November 21, 2025 at 5:04 PM
I don't tell half as many people to fuck off as I'd like to.
Reposted by Max Normal
someone added me to a disparagingly named block list for asking people to please use alt text, so I added him to a list called “keeps spamming people to tell them he sat on his balls”
November 21, 2025 at 3:27 PM
someone added me to a disparagingly named block list for asking people to please use alt text, so I added him to a list called “keeps spamming people to tell them he sat on his balls”
Reposted by Max Normal
Before you sit down, make sure you can reach the remote.
November 18, 2025 at 12:25 PM
Before you sit down, make sure you can reach the remote.
Reposted by Max Normal
*my phone alarm goes off*
Them: Time for medicine?
Me: nope. Reese’s cup
Them: Time for medicine?
Me: nope. Reese’s cup
November 21, 2025 at 9:27 AM
*my phone alarm goes off*
Them: Time for medicine?
Me: nope. Reese’s cup
Them: Time for medicine?
Me: nope. Reese’s cup
I bought a new Bic four-coloured pen yesterday to add to my collection and I'm quite annoyed that I haven't had to write anything yet.
November 21, 2025 at 4:59 PM
I bought a new Bic four-coloured pen yesterday to add to my collection and I'm quite annoyed that I haven't had to write anything yet.
New name, new pfp, same angry dickhead.
November 21, 2025 at 4:55 PM
New name, new pfp, same angry dickhead.
Swishy trousers for the win
November 21, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Swishy trousers for the win
The Brummie accent is sexy and I'm tired of pretending that it isn't.
November 21, 2025 at 1:48 PM
The Brummie accent is sexy and I'm tired of pretending that it isn't.
What's green and smells of pork?
Mouldy sausages.
Mouldy sausages.
November 19, 2025 at 9:38 PM
What's green and smells of pork?
Mouldy sausages.
Mouldy sausages.
Iggy Pop does a bit of painting and decorating on the side.
November 19, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Iggy Pop does a bit of painting and decorating on the side.
Apparently you get more right wing the older you get. My current bedtime reading is the communist manifesto and it's got me wondering, at what age is it supposed to kick in?
November 16, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Apparently you get more right wing the older you get. My current bedtime reading is the communist manifesto and it's got me wondering, at what age is it supposed to kick in?
Reposted by Max Normal
First, they came for the pedophiles, and I did n-- *touching earpiece* oh, they didn't?
November 15, 2025 at 12:37 AM
First, they came for the pedophiles, and I did n-- *touching earpiece* oh, they didn't?
Did Carl Douglas ever explain WHY everyone was Kung Fu fighting?
November 16, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Did Carl Douglas ever explain WHY everyone was Kung Fu fighting?
Reposted by Max Normal
Maybe she's born with it.
Maybe it's functional alcoholism.
Maybe it's functional alcoholism.
June 12, 2025 at 12:22 PM
Maybe she's born with it.
Maybe it's functional alcoholism.
Maybe it's functional alcoholism.
After almost 15 years of awkward, stunted conversation, I've finally bonded with my BiL, we popped in to see my Outlaws and he was visiting and had put Interstellar on the TV. Now we're best friends. Thank you Christopher Nolan.
November 15, 2025 at 6:22 PM
After almost 15 years of awkward, stunted conversation, I've finally bonded with my BiL, we popped in to see my Outlaws and he was visiting and had put Interstellar on the TV. Now we're best friends. Thank you Christopher Nolan.
My only fear about dying is that my mum will choose my burial outfit and I'll have to spend the afterlife dressed like a twat.
November 15, 2025 at 5:37 PM
My only fear about dying is that my mum will choose my burial outfit and I'll have to spend the afterlife dressed like a twat.
Reposted by Max Normal
When I’m in a new place sometimes I poke what I’m about to sit on. Have to make sure it’s not Daniel Day Lewis, John Malkovich, or Gary Oldman.
November 15, 2025 at 5:29 PM
When I’m in a new place sometimes I poke what I’m about to sit on. Have to make sure it’s not Daniel Day Lewis, John Malkovich, or Gary Oldman.
Post your favourite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only
November 15, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Post your favourite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only
Reposted by Max Normal
Your honor, permission to do the jerk-off motion
November 14, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Your honor, permission to do the jerk-off motion
I must have missed the memo, when did looking where you're going become optional in public places?
November 15, 2025 at 5:31 PM
I must have missed the memo, when did looking where you're going become optional in public places?
American Psycho, and chill?
November 15, 2025 at 1:22 AM
American Psycho, and chill?
"Anyone else with an execution fetish?" Is not a sentence I ever imagined reading but here we are.
November 15, 2025 at 1:17 AM
"Anyone else with an execution fetish?" Is not a sentence I ever imagined reading but here we are.