Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
@hormonella.bsky.social
My body is not my temple
It’s more like my bar and grill
It’s more like my bar and grill
Pinned
Tips for Managing Stress:
1. Eat healthy regular meals
2. Fresh air and exercise
3. Caffeine, lots of caffeine
4. Sleep two to three hours a night
5. Sob inconsolably
1. Eat healthy regular meals
2. Fresh air and exercise
3. Caffeine, lots of caffeine
4. Sleep two to three hours a night
5. Sob inconsolably
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
A waiting list for the kids table.
November 27, 2025 at 6:37 PM
A waiting list for the kids table.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
hug your pets and set them places at the table; put your family in crates
(if they cannot behave)
🧡🦃
(if they cannot behave)
🧡🦃
November 27, 2025 at 12:31 PM
hug your pets and set them places at the table; put your family in crates
(if they cannot behave)
🧡🦃
(if they cannot behave)
🧡🦃
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
i showed you my casserole please respond
November 27, 2025 at 5:37 PM
i showed you my casserole please respond
turkey’s in the oven, table’s set
time to load the medicine cabinet with pingpong balls
time to load the medicine cabinet with pingpong balls
November 27, 2025 at 6:10 PM
turkey’s in the oven, table’s set
time to load the medicine cabinet with pingpong balls
time to load the medicine cabinet with pingpong balls
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Working on my annual Thanksgiving poem to read at the table today what rhymes with ingrates
November 27, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Working on my annual Thanksgiving poem to read at the table today what rhymes with ingrates
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
This year for our Thanksgiving gathering, I'm bringing what I brought last year, shame upon the family.
November 27, 2025 at 1:03 AM
This year for our Thanksgiving gathering, I'm bringing what I brought last year, shame upon the family.
Happy Thanksgiving from our home to yours!
November 27, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Happy Thanksgiving from our home to yours!
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Fine. I will share my nana’s creamed corn recipe but I shan’t be responsible for anyone’s boner
November 27, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Fine. I will share my nana’s creamed corn recipe but I shan’t be responsible for anyone’s boner
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
You guys wanna do gravy shots?
November 26, 2025 at 11:12 PM
You guys wanna do gravy shots?
What the fuck are you all so stressed about?
November 27, 2025 at 12:36 AM
What the fuck are you all so stressed about?
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Jesus didn't die for you to eat fake potatoes
November 26, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Jesus didn't die for you to eat fake potatoes
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
A dating app that only shows their latest Spotify playlist and bank account balance.
November 26, 2025 at 11:30 AM
A dating app that only shows their latest Spotify playlist and bank account balance.
Subtlety is not a canine trait.
I started cooking and the dog went under my bed.
I started cooking and the dog went under my bed.
November 26, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Subtlety is not a canine trait.
I started cooking and the dog went under my bed.
I started cooking and the dog went under my bed.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
At least now I have the opportunity to try and blame my bankruptcy and poverty on him, and not my own deeply personal bad decisions.
November 25, 2025 at 9:26 PM
At least now I have the opportunity to try and blame my bankruptcy and poverty on him, and not my own deeply personal bad decisions.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
My dog looks at me with such profound betrayal when I open the door now.
We’ve had the "it's wet out there" talk six times today. He thinks I control the weather and I'm just being a jerk.
We’ve had the "it's wet out there" talk six times today. He thinks I control the weather and I'm just being a jerk.
November 24, 2025 at 4:39 AM
My dog looks at me with such profound betrayal when I open the door now.
We’ve had the "it's wet out there" talk six times today. He thinks I control the weather and I'm just being a jerk.
We’ve had the "it's wet out there" talk six times today. He thinks I control the weather and I'm just being a jerk.
When you wake up angry and confused and disappointed, know that you are not alone.
Many among us hoped to learn of his demise this morning.
Many among us hoped to learn of his demise this morning.
November 25, 2025 at 1:56 PM
When you wake up angry and confused and disappointed, know that you are not alone.
Many among us hoped to learn of his demise this morning.
Many among us hoped to learn of his demise this morning.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
rfk jr cancelling headphones
November 25, 2025 at 1:23 AM
rfk jr cancelling headphones
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
The arbiters of morality make me glad to be a degenerate
November 24, 2025 at 11:08 PM
The arbiters of morality make me glad to be a degenerate
Some nights I throw all of my coats on the bed in the guest room so it looks like I’m having a big party.
November 25, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Some nights I throw all of my coats on the bed in the guest room so it looks like I’m having a big party.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
I opened the fridge door once again looking for enlightenment.
Nope. I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.
Nope. I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.
November 23, 2025 at 8:33 PM
I opened the fridge door once again looking for enlightenment.
Nope. I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.
Nope. I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Me: My dog really looks up to me.
Coworker: Aw how cute!
Me: Why? He’s just way shorter than I am.
Coworker: Aw how cute!
Me: Why? He’s just way shorter than I am.
November 17, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Me: My dog really looks up to me.
Coworker: Aw how cute!
Me: Why? He’s just way shorter than I am.
Coworker: Aw how cute!
Me: Why? He’s just way shorter than I am.
Ladies, when a man sends flowers to you at work, he's just marking his territory.
Think of it as lifting his leg on your desk.
Think of it as lifting his leg on your desk.
November 24, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Ladies, when a man sends flowers to you at work, he's just marking his territory.
Think of it as lifting his leg on your desk.
Think of it as lifting his leg on your desk.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
It’s hard to lose a loved one during the holidays.
I lost my Mom during Toyotathon.
I lost my Mom during Toyotathon.
November 24, 2025 at 3:05 AM
It’s hard to lose a loved one during the holidays.
I lost my Mom during Toyotathon.
I lost my Mom during Toyotathon.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
I'm always surprised to open a can of evaporated milk and find anything there.
November 23, 2025 at 3:41 PM
I'm always surprised to open a can of evaporated milk and find anything there.
can’t, I’m pregaming *
* eating mashed potatoes
* eating mashed potatoes
November 23, 2025 at 8:06 PM
can’t, I’m pregaming *
* eating mashed potatoes
* eating mashed potatoes