MrsFitz
@mrsfitz.bsky.social
Pinned
MrsFitz
@mrsfitz.bsky.social
· Jan 20
Sorry I said your boyfriend looks like Baron Harkonnen. It was childish & wrong. He's floating right behind me, isn't he?
Reposted by MrsFitz
I banged my head on a hanging lamp, and now I'm in the temporary-amnesia episode.
November 23, 2025 at 8:26 PM
I banged my head on a hanging lamp, and now I'm in the temporary-amnesia episode.
Reposted by MrsFitz
Sinister bitches are waiting for the right time to school you, my friend.
November 24, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Sinister bitches are waiting for the right time to school you, my friend.
Reposted by MrsFitz
I'm saving over 300/month on food shopping by just eating whatever comes floating down the creek
November 23, 2025 at 9:09 PM
I'm saving over 300/month on food shopping by just eating whatever comes floating down the creek
Reposted by MrsFitz
Someone is stealing my hair ties in an effort to drive me insane.
November 24, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Someone is stealing my hair ties in an effort to drive me insane.
Reposted by MrsFitz
i enjoy watching people hula hoop, but i still try not to stare. what if they can’t help it?
November 23, 2025 at 11:23 PM
i enjoy watching people hula hoop, but i still try not to stare. what if they can’t help it?
Reposted by MrsFitz
ME: please pass the salt, zebra
HER: it's debra
HER: it's debra
November 23, 2025 at 7:55 PM
ME: please pass the salt, zebra
HER: it's debra
HER: it's debra
Reposted by MrsFitz
Sometimes you have to talk to yourself out loud because your brain won't listen to your inside voice
November 24, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Sometimes you have to talk to yourself out loud because your brain won't listen to your inside voice
Reposted by MrsFitz
Don’t mean to brag, but my watch just informed me that I have stood up every day this week.
November 24, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Don’t mean to brag, but my watch just informed me that I have stood up every day this week.
Reposted by MrsFitz
I’m happy to share my grandmother’s favorite sweet potato recipe
[throws a dozen sweet potatoes one by one into the river]
[throws a dozen sweet potatoes one by one into the river]
November 23, 2025 at 8:41 PM
I’m happy to share my grandmother’s favorite sweet potato recipe
[throws a dozen sweet potatoes one by one into the river]
[throws a dozen sweet potatoes one by one into the river]
Reposted by MrsFitz
Me: I want my pills wrapped in cheese like my dogs.
Pharmacist:
Pharmacist:
November 23, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Me: I want my pills wrapped in cheese like my dogs.
Pharmacist:
Pharmacist:
Reposted by MrsFitz
In my mind, a lot of you are slipping on stilettos, a loose fitting jersey dress, a huge fur hat, & Elsa Peretti cuffs so you can go out & buy a sandwich from a cart conveniently near a department store.
November 23, 2025 at 4:30 PM
In my mind, a lot of you are slipping on stilettos, a loose fitting jersey dress, a huge fur hat, & Elsa Peretti cuffs so you can go out & buy a sandwich from a cart conveniently near a department store.
Reposted by MrsFitz
What I ordered:
A pink sweater and cream colored hat.
What they sent:
Children’s ski gloves and men’s driving gloves in brown.
A pink sweater and cream colored hat.
What they sent:
Children’s ski gloves and men’s driving gloves in brown.
November 23, 2025 at 4:14 PM
What I ordered:
A pink sweater and cream colored hat.
What they sent:
Children’s ski gloves and men’s driving gloves in brown.
A pink sweater and cream colored hat.
What they sent:
Children’s ski gloves and men’s driving gloves in brown.
Reposted by MrsFitz
This pie was “rucked up beyond all recognition, boo.” They stared at each other for a moment before realizing Gary couldn’t spell rhubarb.
November 23, 2025 at 3:16 PM
This pie was “rucked up beyond all recognition, boo.” They stared at each other for a moment before realizing Gary couldn’t spell rhubarb.
Reposted by MrsFitz
Coffee isn't enough I stare directly at the sun for 30 seconds
November 23, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Coffee isn't enough I stare directly at the sun for 30 seconds
Reposted by MrsFitz
I don’t know about you, but I pronounce it gyro.
November 22, 2025 at 7:32 PM
I don’t know about you, but I pronounce it gyro.
Reposted by MrsFitz
Taking care of elderly parents is like parenting a toddler with a driver's license and a checking account.
November 23, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Taking care of elderly parents is like parenting a toddler with a driver's license and a checking account.
Reposted by MrsFitz
Do you remember when you were a little kid and no one paid any attention to what you had to say? It will happen again…
November 17, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Do you remember when you were a little kid and no one paid any attention to what you had to say? It will happen again…
Reposted by MrsFitz
You know that episode of Space Ghost CtoC where Zorak kicks off the show by announcing "I'm coppin' an attitude!"
I need that on my phone so I can just play it for anyone who tries to talk to me.
I need that on my phone so I can just play it for anyone who tries to talk to me.
November 22, 2025 at 11:34 PM
You know that episode of Space Ghost CtoC where Zorak kicks off the show by announcing "I'm coppin' an attitude!"
I need that on my phone so I can just play it for anyone who tries to talk to me.
I need that on my phone so I can just play it for anyone who tries to talk to me.
Reposted by MrsFitz
oh sorry, can’t, the holidays are my busy time *continues to stare at the wall*
November 22, 2025 at 9:29 PM
oh sorry, can’t, the holidays are my busy time *continues to stare at the wall*
Reposted by MrsFitz
RFK Jr looks like if you microwaved a salad
November 22, 2025 at 9:20 PM
RFK Jr looks like if you microwaved a salad
Reposted by MrsFitz
Enjoy the weekend, because starting Monday, for an entire week we will be governed by Bird Law.
November 22, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Enjoy the weekend, because starting Monday, for an entire week we will be governed by Bird Law.
I never use profanity unless severely provoked.
November 22, 2025 at 10:17 PM
I never use profanity unless severely provoked.
Reposted by MrsFitz
Never be afraid to avoid new things.
November 22, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Never be afraid to avoid new things.