Jon Schwartz
@jonlschwartz.bsky.social
Tweets are mine. Deputy editor for @yanksmagazine. Bylines at @yankees, @spin, @njmonthly, etc. he/him/his [email protected]
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
it certainly does not mean I secretly like the roaches and want them to carry on infesting my house
if I were happy with the roaches infesting my house I wouldn’t be mad at my shitty exterminator
if I were happy with the roaches infesting my house I wouldn’t be mad at my shitty exterminator
January 3, 2026 at 9:51 PM
it certainly does not mean I secretly like the roaches and want them to carry on infesting my house
if I were happy with the roaches infesting my house I wouldn’t be mad at my shitty exterminator
if I were happy with the roaches infesting my house I wouldn’t be mad at my shitty exterminator
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
if I hire an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he instead presents me with a list of reasons he is incapable of doing so while asking for more money so that he can maybe handle it later, I am not angrier at the roaches, I am in the market for a better exterminator
January 3, 2026 at 9:25 PM
if I hire an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he instead presents me with a list of reasons he is incapable of doing so while asking for more money so that he can maybe handle it later, I am not angrier at the roaches, I am in the market for a better exterminator
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
I expect evil people to do evil things
I also expect people selling themselves as a bulwark against those evil people to fight tooth and nail against the evil things evil people do
only one of these groups is currently performing according to expectations
I also expect people selling themselves as a bulwark against those evil people to fight tooth and nail against the evil things evil people do
only one of these groups is currently performing according to expectations
January 3, 2026 at 9:22 PM
I expect evil people to do evil things
I also expect people selling themselves as a bulwark against those evil people to fight tooth and nail against the evil things evil people do
only one of these groups is currently performing according to expectations
I also expect people selling themselves as a bulwark against those evil people to fight tooth and nail against the evil things evil people do
only one of these groups is currently performing according to expectations
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
the reason people sometimes act madder at democrats than republicans when republicans do impossibly evil shit is the same reason why, if you hired an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he showed up to feed and play with them instead, your first instinct wouldn’t be to yell at the roaches
January 3, 2026 at 9:19 PM
the reason people sometimes act madder at democrats than republicans when republicans do impossibly evil shit is the same reason why, if you hired an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he showed up to feed and play with them instead, your first instinct wouldn’t be to yell at the roaches
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
THE PITT 🤝 INDUSTRY
Me somehow understanding everything despite not following 98% of the jargon.
Me somehow understanding everything despite not following 98% of the jargon.
January 4, 2026 at 5:05 AM
THE PITT 🤝 INDUSTRY
Me somehow understanding everything despite not following 98% of the jargon.
Me somehow understanding everything despite not following 98% of the jargon.
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
Well, it was either all this or another black person in a Star Wars movie
January 3, 2026 at 5:01 PM
Well, it was either all this or another black person in a Star Wars movie
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
it's time to play America's favorite new game, 'what the fuck am I waking up to now'
January 3, 2026 at 10:22 AM
it's time to play America's favorite new game, 'what the fuck am I waking up to now'
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
Talk about the decline of American industry. We don’t even manufacture consent anymore. :(
January 3, 2026 at 1:42 PM
Talk about the decline of American industry. We don’t even manufacture consent anymore. :(
Just felt that earthquake in Mexico City from the 16th floor of our hotel. That’s new.
January 2, 2026 at 2:11 PM
Just felt that earthquake in Mexico City from the 16th floor of our hotel. That’s new.
Happy new year, what the fuck is Chelsea doing? (Conversations heard from English soccer fans in 2026 or American tabloid journalists in 1998)
January 1, 2026 at 12:31 PM
Happy new year, what the fuck is Chelsea doing? (Conversations heard from English soccer fans in 2026 or American tabloid journalists in 1998)
People in the mountain time zone aren’t going to believe what happens to Ohio State at the end of 2025
January 1, 2026 at 5:57 AM
People in the mountain time zone aren’t going to believe what happens to Ohio State at the end of 2025
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
Everyone remember when Ohio State lost?
January 1, 2026 at 4:00 AM
Everyone remember when Ohio State lost?
Somehow, the last thing to happen in 2025 might be the best?
January 1, 2026 at 3:51 AM
Somehow, the last thing to happen in 2025 might be the best?
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
look we're all making a big bet on AI! and if it pays off as big as we hope, well, it's going to make a handful of people super rich and you're going to lose your job but get to watch mickey mouse fuck geralt from the witcher. if it doesn't pay off well then you get to pay for the bailouts
December 29, 2025 at 2:25 AM
look we're all making a big bet on AI! and if it pays off as big as we hope, well, it's going to make a handful of people super rich and you're going to lose your job but get to watch mickey mouse fuck geralt from the witcher. if it doesn't pay off well then you get to pay for the bailouts
The incredible thing — and somewhat tragic — is that there are going to be tens of thousands of people who pay money to be able to watch today's Raiders-Giants game in person. Perhaps as many as a million more will set time aside during their day to watch it. What are we doing?
December 28, 2025 at 3:44 PM
The incredible thing — and somewhat tragic — is that there are going to be tens of thousands of people who pay money to be able to watch today's Raiders-Giants game in person. Perhaps as many as a million more will set time aside during their day to watch it. What are we doing?
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
Penn State beats Clemson to close the season, just as I predicted at the beginning of the year.
It's the Pinstripe Bowl instead of the national championship game, but that's just semantics.
It's the Pinstripe Bowl instead of the national championship game, but that's just semantics.
December 27, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Penn State beats Clemson to close the season, just as I predicted at the beginning of the year.
It's the Pinstripe Bowl instead of the national championship game, but that's just semantics.
It's the Pinstripe Bowl instead of the national championship game, but that's just semantics.
All Pinstripe Bowl discourse should focus on the fact that Clemson's Brodey Conn is listed as both a long snapper *and* punter, and I can't believe we're talking about anything else.
December 27, 2025 at 6:05 PM
All Pinstripe Bowl discourse should focus on the fact that Clemson's Brodey Conn is listed as both a long snapper *and* punter, and I can't believe we're talking about anything else.
Anyone who can catch a football is requested at Yankee Stadium ASAP to play in the Pinstripe Bowl. No experience required.
December 27, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Anyone who can catch a football is requested at Yankee Stadium ASAP to play in the Pinstripe Bowl. No experience required.
Did everyone except me know that the HVAC National Championships was not only something that existed, but something that would be broadcast on national tv?
December 27, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Did everyone except me know that the HVAC National Championships was not only something that existed, but something that would be broadcast on national tv?
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
It’s very hard to take The Atlantic seriously when they publish this shit.
Gatekeepers in certain industries seem to have favored women or members of racial minorities recently—“but only those equipped with a prix-fixe menu of progressive values and beliefs,” Thomas Chatterton Williams argues.
The Other Way the ‘Super Woke’ Left Discriminates
Race and gender aren’t the only categories that determine who gets special treatment.
bit.ly
December 24, 2025 at 10:26 PM
It’s very hard to take The Atlantic seriously when they publish this shit.
Is the contention here that the only option is CECOT or my home? Anyone I don’t want in my home goes to CECOT? I don’t want Stephen Miller in my home. Can he go to CECOT?
I'd be delighted to have a hairstylist or a youth soccer coach visit for a night
December 24, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Is the contention here that the only option is CECOT or my home? Anyone I don’t want in my home goes to CECOT? I don’t want Stephen Miller in my home. Can he go to CECOT?
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
if bari weiss had tried to do 9/11 there'd be three towers now
December 23, 2025 at 2:36 AM
if bari weiss had tried to do 9/11 there'd be three towers now
Reposted by Jon Schwartz
Sorry but you're lying if you say you're going to miss watching Jeff McNeil slam his helmet after grounding into his third double play in his last five ABs.
December 22, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Sorry but you're lying if you say you're going to miss watching Jeff McNeil slam his helmet after grounding into his third double play in his last five ABs.