Root Beer Man
@linusr.bsky.social
root beer man knows his purpose
Reposted by Root Beer Man
Reposted by Root Beer Man
oh my god you have to read this until the end www.telos.news/p/part-1-how...
Part 1: How I Found Out
Olivia had just returned from a reporting trip—at least that’s what she told me it was—and her Herschel backpack, the one with the flap that never quite closed properly, was tossed beside our bed, its...
www.telos.news
November 18, 2025 at 1:00 AM
oh my god you have to read this until the end www.telos.news/p/part-1-how...
Reposted by Root Beer Man
so uh, what was Merrick Garland doing
November 12, 2025 at 2:59 PM
so uh, what was Merrick Garland doing
Reposted by Root Beer Man
might be one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen
October 26, 2025 at 7:27 PM
might be one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen
Reposted by Root Beer Man
Reposted by Root Beer Man
Fresh Track with the band!
timheidecker.bandcamp.com/track/im-pro...
timheidecker.bandcamp.com/track/im-pro...
(I'm Proud of My) National Guard, by Tim Heidecker
track by Tim Heidecker
timheidecker.bandcamp.com
October 16, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Fresh Track with the band!
timheidecker.bandcamp.com/track/im-pro...
timheidecker.bandcamp.com/track/im-pro...
for my part, i encourage as many people as possible to attend the Oct 18 protests
October 4, 2025 at 11:05 PM
for my part, i encourage as many people as possible to attend the Oct 18 protests
Reposted by Root Beer Man
I think the most useful political activity most of us can engage in rn is to encourage as many people as possible to attend the Oct 18 protests.
October 4, 2025 at 10:49 PM
I think the most useful political activity most of us can engage in rn is to encourage as many people as possible to attend the Oct 18 protests.
Reposted by Root Beer Man
if they arrest will we are required to fuss about it and anyone who does not is a traitor
honestly, kudos to him for this
September 18, 2025 at 10:17 PM
if they arrest will we are required to fuss about it and anyone who does not is a traitor
Reposted by Root Beer Man
root beer man knows his purpose
July 28, 2025 at 3:27 PM
root beer man knows his purpose
Now that Messr. DAN BONGINO hath joinèd the RESISTANCE, by leaking day after day the NEFARITIES of Messr. TRUMP and his erstwhile Chum, Messr. EPSTEIN, how long till the vile PELOSI demands I, the ROOT BEER MAN, issue a Publick Apologie, for my longtime MOCKERY (Japes, &c.), of DAN’S BALD HEADE?!!!!
July 24, 2025 at 7:34 AM
Now that Messr. DAN BONGINO hath joinèd the RESISTANCE, by leaking day after day the NEFARITIES of Messr. TRUMP and his erstwhile Chum, Messr. EPSTEIN, how long till the vile PELOSI demands I, the ROOT BEER MAN, issue a Publick Apologie, for my longtime MOCKERY (Japes, &c.), of DAN’S BALD HEADE?!!!!
Every One seemeth to be PRAISINGE that vile OAF, viz., Messr. HUNTER BIDEN, utterly IGNORING the Fact that, were it not for him, TRUMP would not be Præsident; for as is knowne, HUNTER did CONSUME, & SELFISHLY, such an enourmous Quantity of EGGS, as to drive their Price thru’ the very ROOF, and thus,
July 22, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Every One seemeth to be PRAISINGE that vile OAF, viz., Messr. HUNTER BIDEN, utterly IGNORING the Fact that, were it not for him, TRUMP would not be Præsident; for as is knowne, HUNTER did CONSUME, & SELFISHLY, such an enourmous Quantity of EGGS, as to drive their Price thru’ the very ROOF, and thus,
Reposted by Root Beer Man
KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
July 17, 2023 at 3:57 AM
KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
It is Harde to gainsaye that JESUS, for His Parte, moste likeley Existes, ‘floatinge arounde’ in the Sky, lookinge at us, & Voiceing His Opiniones in the Ears of His Zealots—& So What!? I do not Respeckt Him, and do deny Him my Worshippe. ZEUS, on the other Hand, moste likeley doth not even Existe!!
July 19, 2025 at 5:54 PM
It is Harde to gainsaye that JESUS, for His Parte, moste likeley Existes, ‘floatinge arounde’ in the Sky, lookinge at us, & Voiceing His Opiniones in the Ears of His Zealots—& So What!? I do not Respeckt Him, and do deny Him my Worshippe. ZEUS, on the other Hand, moste likeley doth not even Existe!!
Reposted by Root Beer Man
“Superman sacrifices, protects, and never complains. He’s respectful, reserved, and doesn’t seek thanks…He finds Lois Lane’s success appealing, rather than emasculating. He lifts people up instead of demanding they bow down.”
- @nicholasgrossman.bsky.social
www.arcdigital.media/p/why-maga-h...
- @nicholasgrossman.bsky.social
www.arcdigital.media/p/why-maga-h...
Why MAGA Hates Superman
He stands for truth, justice, and an American way that Trump is tearing down
www.arcdigital.media
July 9, 2025 at 2:32 PM
“Superman sacrifices, protects, and never complains. He’s respectful, reserved, and doesn’t seek thanks…He finds Lois Lane’s success appealing, rather than emasculating. He lifts people up instead of demanding they bow down.”
- @nicholasgrossman.bsky.social
www.arcdigital.media/p/why-maga-h...
- @nicholasgrossman.bsky.social
www.arcdigital.media/p/why-maga-h...
*Is criticized for my “Rudeness” and lack of “Civility” by a worshipper at the Throne of Moloch*
“Ah, my Apologies, good Sir!!”
[Some few hours later, I let out a Gasp of Realization:]
What could be more profoundly RUDE than worshipping at the Throne of MOLOCH!?
“Ah, my Apologies, good Sir!!”
[Some few hours later, I let out a Gasp of Realization:]
What could be more profoundly RUDE than worshipping at the Throne of MOLOCH!?
July 1, 2025 at 2:23 AM
*Is criticized for my “Rudeness” and lack of “Civility” by a worshipper at the Throne of Moloch*
“Ah, my Apologies, good Sir!!”
[Some few hours later, I let out a Gasp of Realization:]
What could be more profoundly RUDE than worshipping at the Throne of MOLOCH!?
“Ah, my Apologies, good Sir!!”
[Some few hours later, I let out a Gasp of Realization:]
What could be more profoundly RUDE than worshipping at the Throne of MOLOCH!?
The PEOPLE, have ascended to such HEIGHTS of RUDENESS, in describeing what was Once called, and for All I know may still be called, the “G.O.P.”!! My God… to call them Tyrannicall, & e’en “RACISTE”—have you not Consider’d, that these Words are among the Leaste POLITE, that have e’er been invented!?
June 29, 2025 at 6:05 PM
The PEOPLE, have ascended to such HEIGHTS of RUDENESS, in describeing what was Once called, and for All I know may still be called, the “G.O.P.”!! My God… to call them Tyrannicall, & e’en “RACISTE”—have you not Consider’d, that these Words are among the Leaste POLITE, that have e’er been invented!?
The Instante HAROLD & KUMAR went on Aeroplane, I Knew—in a Flash—they’d be suspeckted of Terrorisme, upon doinge “Bong” in the W.C. Thus, clearly,I am a Man of some Wisdom. Yet Now, my so-call’d Brother REFUSETH to let me Name his CHILD? What is Wronge, pray, with the Name TULKU GHYÖNGSAT RIMPOCHE?!
June 29, 2025 at 1:33 AM
The Instante HAROLD & KUMAR went on Aeroplane, I Knew—in a Flash—they’d be suspeckted of Terrorisme, upon doinge “Bong” in the W.C. Thus, clearly,I am a Man of some Wisdom. Yet Now, my so-call’d Brother REFUSETH to let me Name his CHILD? What is Wronge, pray, with the Name TULKU GHYÖNGSAT RIMPOCHE?!
Debated To-day: JOHN ROBERTS: is he a GOOD STEWARD of LAW, or a DIRTY DOG of a MAN? Well, ask not for My Vote: For (1) the Citizens of this Republique lack any Vote vis-à-vis Our JURISTICALL GODS; & (2) I would have None any-way, having lost all Votinge Right, upon My CONVICTION FOR DOUBLE-MURDER!!
June 28, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Debated To-day: JOHN ROBERTS: is he a GOOD STEWARD of LAW, or a DIRTY DOG of a MAN? Well, ask not for My Vote: For (1) the Citizens of this Republique lack any Vote vis-à-vis Our JURISTICALL GODS; & (2) I would have None any-way, having lost all Votinge Right, upon My CONVICTION FOR DOUBLE-MURDER!!
Reposted by Root Beer Man
Ew shoe profound insyts that must not be ignórd. The tym thae spend wershiping Devilspel thae coud aem at hyer thinns. Ew mae be clósser to the Nythoud than ew think!
June 26, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Ew shoe profound insyts that must not be ignórd. The tym thae spend wershiping Devilspel thae coud aem at hyer thinns. Ew mae be clósser to the Nythoud than ew think!
Nowe One can REPOSTE One’s OWNE “Tweets”!!? (Not the approved Term, alas—yet none better hath been discouvered.) As Scripture sayeth: “Like the Dog returninge to his Vomitte,” (… I recall not the Endinge of this Verse, yet I believe it can justly be compleated:) “… the ROOT BEER MAN is a Geniouse!!”
June 26, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Nowe One can REPOSTE One’s OWNE “Tweets”!!? (Not the approved Term, alas—yet none better hath been discouvered.) As Scripture sayeth: “Like the Dog returninge to his Vomitte,” (… I recall not the Endinge of this Verse, yet I believe it can justly be compleated:) “… the ROOT BEER MAN is a Geniouse!!”
Who could fail to fear the Famouse “AI Machine”? For doth it not seem as tho’ It shall soon out-think the Thinkers, and with such Pouer, and Gusto, as to win the Spelling Bee EVERY Yeare??, yea, such that not even a veritable ROCKY BALBOA of Spellinge, could ev’r vanquish it in fair Conteste??
June 26, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Who could fail to fear the Famouse “AI Machine”? For doth it not seem as tho’ It shall soon out-think the Thinkers, and with such Pouer, and Gusto, as to win the Spelling Bee EVERY Yeare??, yea, such that not even a veritable ROCKY BALBOA of Spellinge, could ev’r vanquish it in fair Conteste??
PENSÈES WHEN LISTENING TO THE “LOTUS SUTRA”: Yea, ‘tis all intriguing, no Doubt. Yette being, as it is, shortly after One O’Clock, I daresay I do not much WANT this famouse “NIRVAÑA”, nay, not even half so much, as I want a Big TURKEY SANDWICH!!!!
June 26, 2025 at 6:12 PM
PENSÈES WHEN LISTENING TO THE “LOTUS SUTRA”: Yea, ‘tis all intriguing, no Doubt. Yette being, as it is, shortly after One O’Clock, I daresay I do not much WANT this famouse “NIRVAÑA”, nay, not even half so much, as I want a Big TURKEY SANDWICH!!!!
Havinge so SLASHINGLY attacked (“TROLL’D”[?]) Messrs. Yglesias & Stancil,, I worry this Expenditure of FIREPOWER INTELLECTUALLE, has left me withoutte the Energies requisite to “take on” those greater LEVIATHANS, viz., Messrs. John Ganz and Hamilton Nolan—alas! Am I then doomed to be… their LUNCH!?
June 26, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Havinge so SLASHINGLY attacked (“TROLL’D”[?]) Messrs. Yglesias & Stancil,, I worry this Expenditure of FIREPOWER INTELLECTUALLE, has left me withoutte the Energies requisite to “take on” those greater LEVIATHANS, viz., Messrs. John Ganz and Hamilton Nolan—alas! Am I then doomed to be… their LUNCH!?
Methinks I am Wise enough to be a Blue Sky WISDOM Poaster, i.e., of Aphoristick & Learnèd NONSENSE, re: Felicity and the Like. Yet I desire to avoid accumulating BAYING Fans; for this would rob me of Time for nobler Pursuits—in particular, finding all the “SHRINES,” in this accursèd Zelda Gayme!!
June 26, 2025 at 6:33 AM
Methinks I am Wise enough to be a Blue Sky WISDOM Poaster, i.e., of Aphoristick & Learnèd NONSENSE, re: Felicity and the Like. Yet I desire to avoid accumulating BAYING Fans; for this would rob me of Time for nobler Pursuits—in particular, finding all the “SHRINES,” in this accursèd Zelda Gayme!!