Matt Ufford
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mattufford.bsky.social
Matt Ufford
@mattufford.bsky.social
Yahoo Sports guy, area bird enthusiast
Pinned
my favorite part of parenting is getting my kids ready for school. cajoling, repeating myself, grinding my teeth as I shake with rage — I love starting each day the angriest I’ve ever been
Reposted by Matt Ufford
what's wrong with this guy
November 25, 2025 at 3:15 AM
saw a vanity Cali plate that read BOLTFN2. this implies the existence of a BOLTFN1 and, logically, a BOLTFAN. so when someone tells you the Chargers have no fans, that’s wrong. there are 3.
November 25, 2025 at 12:43 AM
yes it's true that planes are crashing on my watch. and it's because passengers are dishonoring their country with pajama pants. next question.
Duffy on his demand that air travelers not wear slippers or pajamas: "It honors our country ... don't take your shoes off and put your feet on the chair ahead of you"
November 24, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Reposted by Matt Ufford
maybe i am going insane
November 24, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Reposted by Matt Ufford
this is the scariest possible story to tell on the website for 38-year-olds but at least it has a happy ending
got into the car and my lower back exploded in pain. cactus needles jabbing my skin; subcutaneous sparklers of fire. I opened the door and called to my son — “get your mom. something’s wrong.” and that’s when the wasp flew out of my shirt. anyway. happy Friday.
November 21, 2025 at 11:45 PM
got into the car and my lower back exploded in pain. cactus needles jabbing my skin; subcutaneous sparklers of fire. I opened the door and called to my son — “get your mom. something’s wrong.” and that’s when the wasp flew out of my shirt. anyway. happy Friday.
November 21, 2025 at 11:26 PM
I signed up for Defector 5 years ago for the sports blogs but I'd keep the subscription just for the (regular and excellent) art criticism. loved this from @barryp.bsky.social: defector.com/the-eyes-hav...
The Eyes Have It | Defector
The eyes got me. Sir Thomas More by Hans Holbein the Younger isn’t the brightest, or the largest painting in its room—it might be the smallest—but it’s easily the most striking. It called to me from t...
defector.com
November 21, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Reposted by Matt Ufford
He is risen
November 21, 2025 at 5:54 PM
today after drop-off I drove to a parking lot and sat in the car listening to the rain for 20 minutes
my favorite part of parenting is getting my kids ready for school. cajoling, repeating myself, grinding my teeth as I shake with rage — I love starting each day the angriest I’ve ever been
November 21, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Reposted by Matt Ufford
Ohhhhh oh how it cuts right to the very bones
Family Enters Crisis Talks After Learning Restaurant Has 45-Minute Wait http://theonion.com/family-enters-crisis-talks-after-learning-restaurant-ha-1819577952/
November 18, 2025 at 11:08 PM
I love the way every city’s ads reflect the area’s culture. In LA you get TV shows and movies and then you land in Dulles and the billboards are like “Government: It’s the Government.”
November 17, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Sam Darnold interception #1: Darn it, we’ve given the Rams a free score!

Sam Darnold interception #4: let Picasso paint
November 16, 2025 at 11:35 PM
oh baby Sam Darnold is in the Peterman Zone
November 16, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Victor Wembanyama must be SO ANNOYED by Steph Curry
November 15, 2025 at 5:31 AM
periodic reminder that Yahoo Sports is a pretty damn good sports app — it loads quickly, scores are up top, navigation is straightforward, and you will never be served a Pat McAfee video
Also the ESPN app is pretty shitty
November 15, 2025 at 2:19 AM
the Patriots have one large coat. only the worthy may wear it.
November 14, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Reposted by Matt Ufford
Sustainable band lineups include four cool people (Ramones), four dorks (Weezer), or two cool people and two dorks (Cheap Trick). Unsustainable band lineups include one cool person and three dorks (Pixies)
November 12, 2025 at 2:29 AM
DUMONT: trade the fat one
NICO: Luka Doncic? He’s one of the best players in the league. He carried us to the NBA Finals.
DUMONT: get rid of him
NICO: Ok
DUMONT: you’re fired
November 11, 2025 at 4:05 PM
happy 250th birthday to my brothers and sisters in the Marines. here's the time in Kuwait that I finally got the then-new hamburger MRE. it was a huge deal for us. #USMC
November 10, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Reposted by Matt Ufford
Back, and to the left.
Deandre Hunter just did something extremely rude to Josh Giddey

#NBAsky
November 9, 2025 at 4:04 AM
Reposted by Matt Ufford
November 8, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Reposted by Matt Ufford
My narcissism recovery is going so well we made a TV show about it
November 6, 2025 at 2:52 PM
this is me. I'm 7 feet tall and tried to make a layup over Victor Wembanyama. sorry but I tried my best
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
November 6, 2025 at 6:16 AM
Reposted by Matt Ufford
dawg they’re live laugh loving the white house. president homegoods
New sign outside the Oval Office..
November 5, 2025 at 3:55 PM