Michelle Milliken
@michelleym.bsky.social
Auntie. Slow runner. Easily distracted hiker. Writer of rejected submissions. Mourning the Oakland A's. Pretend hockey fan. 2006 AL 2B Gold Glove truther. https://michellemilliken.substack.com/
Pinned
Michelle Milliken
@michelleym.bsky.social
· Jun 16
I Won't Give Up on My 1992 Camry Before He's Old Enough to Run for President
He may be leaky, but he has sensible policies
michellemilliken.substack.com
I have an important announcement: My 1992 Camry is running for president in 2028, if he can just contain his fluids until then. michellemilliken.substack.com/p/i-wont-giv...
Got my Sunday humor post up on Monday because I'm forgetful in my nearly middle-aged brain. michellemilliken.substack.com/p/i-see-you-...
I See You Approaching Middle Age, and I'm Ready
Just let me get some glasses so I can see you more clearly
michellemilliken.substack.com
December 16, 2025 at 4:52 AM
Got my Sunday humor post up on Monday because I'm forgetful in my nearly middle-aged brain. michellemilliken.substack.com/p/i-see-you-...
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Our society only seems to promote people who think the point of art is to hold a finished product, rather than the process of creation. I'm ashamed to admit how much it bothers me that you can be so obviously ignorant and still be taken seriously.
I have creative projects that I've been struggling to finish for *years* that I would rather fling into a fire than let a computer complete them for me.
December 15, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Our society only seems to promote people who think the point of art is to hold a finished product, rather than the process of creation. I'm ashamed to admit how much it bothers me that you can be so obviously ignorant and still be taken seriously.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
President currently feuding with a beloved American comedy icon who was murdered 24 hours ago.
Trump doubles down on his Rob Reiner attack: "I wasn't a fan of his at all. He was a deranged person... He became like a deranged person, Trump Derangement Syndrome. So I was not a fan of Rob Reiner at all in any way, shape or form. I thought he was very bad for our country."
December 15, 2025 at 9:19 PM
President currently feuding with a beloved American comedy icon who was murdered 24 hours ago.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Moments that AI could never replicate.
December 15, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Moments that AI could never replicate.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Point Breeze. Thomas Blvd. Caller said that some random dude walked into their establishment's kitchen and just started chopping vegetables.
December 15, 2025 at 11:52 PM
Point Breeze. Thomas Blvd. Caller said that some random dude walked into their establishment's kitchen and just started chopping vegetables.
I started avidly watching GH in the early aughts because of my mom. She'd even record it for me if there was some exciting storyline that didn't end before school started in the fall. Her fandom started in the Luke and Laura days.
Thanks for entertaining us, Anthony! 💚
people.com/anthony-gear...
Thanks for entertaining us, Anthony! 💚
people.com/anthony-gear...
Anthony Geary, 'General Hospital' Legend Who Played Luke Spencer, Dies at 78
Anthony Geary has died at the age of 78. He played Luke on 'General Hospital,' who, together with Genie Francis's Laura, became one of daytime's most-beloved couples.
people.com
December 16, 2025 at 12:16 AM
I started avidly watching GH in the early aughts because of my mom. She'd even record it for me if there was some exciting storyline that didn't end before school started in the fall. Her fandom started in the Luke and Laura days.
Thanks for entertaining us, Anthony! 💚
people.com/anthony-gear...
Thanks for entertaining us, Anthony! 💚
people.com/anthony-gear...
The #SeaKraken are so bad, but I'm not sure an Optimistic Seattle Kraken Report is doable.
1) No fans have ever been as lighthearted about horrible play as Oakland A's fans.
2) I know, like, three things about hockey.
3) "Jamie Oleksiak is still handsome" probably only makes me happy.
1) No fans have ever been as lighthearted about horrible play as Oakland A's fans.
2) I know, like, three things about hockey.
3) "Jamie Oleksiak is still handsome" probably only makes me happy.
December 15, 2025 at 7:29 AM
The #SeaKraken are so bad, but I'm not sure an Optimistic Seattle Kraken Report is doable.
1) No fans have ever been as lighthearted about horrible play as Oakland A's fans.
2) I know, like, three things about hockey.
3) "Jamie Oleksiak is still handsome" probably only makes me happy.
1) No fans have ever been as lighthearted about horrible play as Oakland A's fans.
2) I know, like, three things about hockey.
3) "Jamie Oleksiak is still handsome" probably only makes me happy.
Proof from The Bad Place
December 15, 2025 at 7:06 AM
Proof from The Bad Place
December 15, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Scott Hatteberg is randomly at this #SeaKraken game? Why are my sports ghosts haunting me at my new home?
#Athletics
#Athletics
December 15, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Scott Hatteberg is randomly at this #SeaKraken game? Why are my sports ghosts haunting me at my new home?
#Athletics
#Athletics
I'm actually wearing #SeaKraken apparel at a game! ...And a Mister Rogers cardigan.
December 15, 2025 at 12:28 AM
I'm actually wearing #SeaKraken apparel at a game! ...And a Mister Rogers cardigan.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
A guy yelling “Nuh uh, bitch!” when the little girl came out of the tv in The Ring.
Raising the always fun question: What are your most memorable theater-going experiences?
Mine also include The Matrix, Blair Witch, and being way too stoned in Belgium when Fellowship of the Ring was sold out so we sat in the back row for Mulholland Drive instead.
Mine also include The Matrix, Blair Witch, and being way too stoned in Belgium when Fellowship of the Ring was sold out so we sat in the back row for Mulholland Drive instead.
It was hands-down one of the most memorable theater-going experiences I can remember, a collective 30-minute butt-clench/armrest-grab for the final climb. And we knew he lived! Wild.
December 12, 2025 at 11:50 PM
A guy yelling “Nuh uh, bitch!” when the little girl came out of the tv in The Ring.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
for dick van dyke's 100th birthday, let's agree that that is actually how english chimney sweeps sound like, he nailed it, if you're an english chimney sweep and don't sound like that, you're doing it wrong
December 13, 2025 at 4:19 PM
for dick van dyke's 100th birthday, let's agree that that is actually how english chimney sweeps sound like, he nailed it, if you're an english chimney sweep and don't sound like that, you're doing it wrong
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises
December 11, 2025 at 7:57 PM
I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Grandchildren Politely Decline David Cronenberg’s Bedtime Story Offer https://theonion.com/grandchildren-politely-decline-david-cronenbergs-bedtime-story-offer/
December 13, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Grandchildren Politely Decline David Cronenberg’s Bedtime Story Offer https://theonion.com/grandchildren-politely-decline-david-cronenbergs-bedtime-story-offer/
That's right. You have to try three of them to appreciate all the ingredients.
“You don’t have to try every cookie on the holiday table,” wrote Mehmet Oz in an email to all Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services staffers.
Dr. Oz Tells His Federal Employees to Eat Less
“You don’t have to try every cookie on the holiday table,” wrote Mehmet Oz in an email to all Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services staffers.
wrd.cm
December 13, 2025 at 11:45 PM
That's right. You have to try three of them to appreciate all the ingredients.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
strangers are fighting to the death in my menchies over this pretty innocuous take and slinging devastating counterarguments like “what if I had to run away from a murderer” and “I like speeding”
one of my longstanding takes is that car manufacturers should be forced to install mandatory speed limiters in every new vehicle and people react to that like I'm advocating to strip them of their right to free speech
December 13, 2025 at 3:52 AM
strangers are fighting to the death in my menchies over this pretty innocuous take and slinging devastating counterarguments like “what if I had to run away from a murderer” and “I like speeding”
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Babe Ruth hit 405 home runs after Dick Van Dyke was born.
December 13, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Babe Ruth hit 405 home runs after Dick Van Dyke was born.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
That’s Blake Snell
Met Snohomish Regional Fire & Rescue Firefighter Brandon Huber this morning. He's working hard to protect his community. I'm grateful for his efforts, and for all our first responders.
December 13, 2025 at 8:05 PM
That’s Blake Snell
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Dick Van Dyke, seen here with co-star Mary Tyler Moore performing "You Wonderful You" on the Season 1 Episode of "THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW" titled “Oh How We Met on the Night That We Danced” (1961) dir. Robert Butler
📺 CBS Productions
#DickVanDyke100
📺 CBS Productions
#DickVanDyke100
December 13, 2025 at 9:48 AM
Dick Van Dyke, seen here with co-star Mary Tyler Moore performing "You Wonderful You" on the Season 1 Episode of "THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW" titled “Oh How We Met on the Night That We Danced” (1961) dir. Robert Butler
📺 CBS Productions
#DickVanDyke100
📺 CBS Productions
#DickVanDyke100
Happy 100th birthday to one of the most prolific purveyors of giggles!
a man sits on a couch with the words oh boy did i goof
ALT: a man sits on a couch with the words oh boy did i goof
media.tenor.com
December 13, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Happy 100th birthday to one of the most prolific purveyors of giggles!
I'm a "I just hope everyone has fun" type of fan, but I'm pretty sure none of the Krakens is having fun right now.
#SeaKraken
#SeaKraken
December 13, 2025 at 5:36 AM
I'm a "I just hope everyone has fun" type of fan, but I'm pretty sure none of the Krakens is having fun right now.
#SeaKraken
#SeaKraken
One of my favorite #SeaKraken things is how Adam Larsson looks perpetually irritated at his very existence. He was slammed into the boards right in front of me tonight, and his exhausted face said, "Of course. The boards again."
December 11, 2025 at 6:45 AM
One of my favorite #SeaKraken things is how Adam Larsson looks perpetually irritated at his very existence. He was slammed into the boards right in front of me tonight, and his exhausted face said, "Of course. The boards again."
Let this be a lesson to you. If you put bananas in your tacos, you'll commit a penalty that helps the opposing team win the game.
#SeaKraken
#SeaKraken
Adrian Kempe skated right in front of me, and all I could think was, "This man puts bananas in his tacos."
#SeaKraken
#SeaKraken
December 11, 2025 at 6:29 AM
Let this be a lesson to you. If you put bananas in your tacos, you'll commit a penalty that helps the opposing team win the game.
#SeaKraken
#SeaKraken
Adrian Kempe skated right in front of me, and all I could think was, "This man puts bananas in his tacos."
#SeaKraken
#SeaKraken
December 11, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Adrian Kempe skated right in front of me, and all I could think was, "This man puts bananas in his tacos."
#SeaKraken
#SeaKraken