The muppety one
@muppetk.bsky.social
So muppety. So tired. Alleged adult. Disaster Muppet. Big nerd.
Cw: food for the entire account because I am stress baking like whoa for the next few years.
(Queer acupuncturist. Pro vax. V lefty. Long Covid sucks four assed monkey butt.)
Cw: food for the entire account because I am stress baking like whoa for the next few years.
(Queer acupuncturist. Pro vax. V lefty. Long Covid sucks four assed monkey butt.)
Pinned
The muppety one
@muppetk.bsky.social
· Nov 13
I just realized that my entire online presence can be summed up as screaming PLEASE FFS BE KIND into the void.
Y’all this is what it’s like inside my head all the time when not cosmical level down or anxious
January 21, 2026 at 5:51 PM
Y’all this is what it’s like inside my head all the time when not cosmical level down or anxious
Me, yesterday: *watches 10 minutes of random Bluey on youtube*
Today:
No one:
Really no one at all:
Me: I OBJECT TO THE SCURRILOUS PORTRAYAL OF BURGER DOG AS “ANNOYING”, IT IS CUTE AND CHARMING AND BESIDES HE LIKES PICKLES AND HE LIKES CHEESE IN THIS ESSAY I WILL
Today:
No one:
Really no one at all:
Me: I OBJECT TO THE SCURRILOUS PORTRAYAL OF BURGER DOG AS “ANNOYING”, IT IS CUTE AND CHARMING AND BESIDES HE LIKES PICKLES AND HE LIKES CHEESE IN THIS ESSAY I WILL
January 21, 2026 at 5:50 PM
Me, yesterday: *watches 10 minutes of random Bluey on youtube*
Today:
No one:
Really no one at all:
Me: I OBJECT TO THE SCURRILOUS PORTRAYAL OF BURGER DOG AS “ANNOYING”, IT IS CUTE AND CHARMING AND BESIDES HE LIKES PICKLES AND HE LIKES CHEESE IN THIS ESSAY I WILL
Today:
No one:
Really no one at all:
Me: I OBJECT TO THE SCURRILOUS PORTRAYAL OF BURGER DOG AS “ANNOYING”, IT IS CUTE AND CHARMING AND BESIDES HE LIKES PICKLES AND HE LIKES CHEESE IN THIS ESSAY I WILL
Oh my god. Oh my goooood.
❤️🤣
❤️🤣
If you are in Seattle, please go patronize this store because this is amazing content/promo 😂 (laughing to keep from crying, and I do kind of low-key want that orange spider plant I have never seen that before)
Source: www.instagram.com/reel/DTQrTqZ...
Source: www.instagram.com/reel/DTQrTqZ...
January 19, 2026 at 5:21 PM
Oh my god. Oh my goooood.
❤️🤣
❤️🤣
I have adulted today. The really yucky kind of adulting. Honestly worse than getting my tax info together, IMO.
I HATE IT. I WOULD LIKE TO STOP BEING A DAMN ADULT NOW.
I HATE IT. I WOULD LIKE TO STOP BEING A DAMN ADULT NOW.
January 18, 2026 at 1:27 AM
I have adulted today. The really yucky kind of adulting. Honestly worse than getting my tax info together, IMO.
I HATE IT. I WOULD LIKE TO STOP BEING A DAMN ADULT NOW.
I HATE IT. I WOULD LIKE TO STOP BEING A DAMN ADULT NOW.
Cat vid: LOOK AT THIS GREAT HECKIN CHONK
me: I LOVE HIM
cat vid: so his breed is called highlander and —
Me: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
me: I LOVE HIM
cat vid: so his breed is called highlander and —
Me: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
January 13, 2026 at 3:23 AM
Cat vid: LOOK AT THIS GREAT HECKIN CHONK
me: I LOVE HIM
cat vid: so his breed is called highlander and —
Me: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
me: I LOVE HIM
cat vid: so his breed is called highlander and —
Me: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
Today in #textMessageTheater, we are talking about John Harvey Kellogg, who created a boring cereal to cure mast*rbation
Friend: I think he's spinning [in his grave] because they added things like sugar & flavor decades ago 😁
Me: so WHY aren’t we harnessing that spin to generate green energy??
Friend: I think he's spinning [in his grave] because they added things like sugar & flavor decades ago 😁
Me: so WHY aren’t we harnessing that spin to generate green energy??
January 11, 2026 at 7:11 PM
Today in #textMessageTheater, we are talking about John Harvey Kellogg, who created a boring cereal to cure mast*rbation
Friend: I think he's spinning [in his grave] because they added things like sugar & flavor decades ago 😁
Me: so WHY aren’t we harnessing that spin to generate green energy??
Friend: I think he's spinning [in his grave] because they added things like sugar & flavor decades ago 😁
Me: so WHY aren’t we harnessing that spin to generate green energy??
Dammit. Cheese recall. Looks like it’s primarily Romano.
January 11, 2026 at 6:58 PM
Dammit. Cheese recall. Looks like it’s primarily Romano.
Mad science baking question —
I was talking to a friend who complained about the missing depth of flavor in a butter free cake
Me: I wonder if a squirt of tomato paste would replace some of that missing umami
Friend: 🤣
—
But seriously, has anyone tried this? I feel like it would work.
I was talking to a friend who complained about the missing depth of flavor in a butter free cake
Me: I wonder if a squirt of tomato paste would replace some of that missing umami
Friend: 🤣
—
But seriously, has anyone tried this? I feel like it would work.
January 11, 2026 at 6:21 PM
Mad science baking question —
I was talking to a friend who complained about the missing depth of flavor in a butter free cake
Me: I wonder if a squirt of tomato paste would replace some of that missing umami
Friend: 🤣
—
But seriously, has anyone tried this? I feel like it would work.
I was talking to a friend who complained about the missing depth of flavor in a butter free cake
Me: I wonder if a squirt of tomato paste would replace some of that missing umami
Friend: 🤣
—
But seriously, has anyone tried this? I feel like it would work.
#yearOfPudding pudding number 2.5
Why 2 and a half? Because it’s not reaaaallly new, just a little. Chocolate cookie pudding. A cross between my chocolate pudding that I already know rules and a sort of freezer cake.
Because sibling requested a cookie cake for her birthday, but >>>
Why 2 and a half? Because it’s not reaaaallly new, just a little. Chocolate cookie pudding. A cross between my chocolate pudding that I already know rules and a sort of freezer cake.
Because sibling requested a cookie cake for her birthday, but >>>
January 10, 2026 at 7:25 PM
#yearOfPudding pudding number 2.5
Why 2 and a half? Because it’s not reaaaallly new, just a little. Chocolate cookie pudding. A cross between my chocolate pudding that I already know rules and a sort of freezer cake.
Because sibling requested a cookie cake for her birthday, but >>>
Why 2 and a half? Because it’s not reaaaallly new, just a little. Chocolate cookie pudding. A cross between my chocolate pudding that I already know rules and a sort of freezer cake.
Because sibling requested a cookie cake for her birthday, but >>>
Does anyone need something wholesome?
How about Mr Rogers meeting Koko the Gorilla.
This is… really really wholesome.
https://youtu.be/gLoXpOxwKwY?si=bKLCVCJjBdUQevYx
How about Mr Rogers meeting Koko the Gorilla.
This is… really really wholesome.
https://youtu.be/gLoXpOxwKwY?si=bKLCVCJjBdUQevYx
KoKo the Gorilla Meets Fred Rogers
YouTube video by Swift Fox Media
youtu.be
January 9, 2026 at 12:45 AM
Does anyone need something wholesome?
How about Mr Rogers meeting Koko the Gorilla.
This is… really really wholesome.
https://youtu.be/gLoXpOxwKwY?si=bKLCVCJjBdUQevYx
How about Mr Rogers meeting Koko the Gorilla.
This is… really really wholesome.
https://youtu.be/gLoXpOxwKwY?si=bKLCVCJjBdUQevYx
Reposted by The muppety one
The Ides of March could hurry up and get here.
January 7, 2026 at 7:06 AM
The Ides of March could hurry up and get here.
Ooooh. This looks like something to try
Before I announce #RecipeOfTheDay I want to thank you all for your birthday wishes yesterday. Sorry not to do so individually: I’m overwhelmed by your loveliness! As for today, I have some smokily beguiling (and #glutenfree) Triple Chocolate Buckwheat Cookies for you www.nigella.com/recipes/trip...
Triple Chocolate Buckwheat Cookies
For those of you not yet familiar with the term procrastibaking, this is a prime example of the genre, and while I have certainly pioneered the practice, the brilliant coinage is one Aya Reina’s — I f...
www.nigella.com
January 8, 2026 at 9:39 PM
Ooooh. This looks like something to try
I’m honestly trying to remember if I ever said this in college. Seems possible.
January 8, 2026 at 9:33 PM
I’m honestly trying to remember if I ever said this in college. Seems possible.
Reposted by The muppety one
May everyone associated with CVS/Caremark experience the same symptoms as every person for whom they've denied medicine.
January 7, 2026 at 5:52 PM
May everyone associated with CVS/Caremark experience the same symptoms as every person for whom they've denied medicine.
😆
Nephew A asked me to read something and give feedback.
A: It's very rough draft! No need to edit, this will all change.
Me: I am putting in these commas for ME, because it hurts me that they're not there.
A, nodding: Self-care is important. Comma away.
A: It's very rough draft! No need to edit, this will all change.
Me: I am putting in these commas for ME, because it hurts me that they're not there.
A, nodding: Self-care is important. Comma away.
January 8, 2026 at 9:21 PM
😆
Who me? Just the usual, about to ruin myself for a television show by putting a hold on the book from a library.
January 8, 2026 at 8:21 PM
Who me? Just the usual, about to ruin myself for a television show by putting a hold on the book from a library.
Reposted by The muppety one
The Time Knife, we’ve all seen it Henrietta
January 8, 2026 at 2:40 PM
The Time Knife, we’ve all seen it Henrietta
Watching a vid for creamy mashed potatoes.
Recipe guy: we’re weighing the potatoes so that everyone’s comes out the same
Me: ok
Recipe guy: now we’re using half the weight in butter *pokes at the butter*
Me: 😮
Me: HOLY FUCK
Me: I don’t think even I would do that
Me: …IN THIS ECONOMY?????
Recipe guy: we’re weighing the potatoes so that everyone’s comes out the same
Me: ok
Recipe guy: now we’re using half the weight in butter *pokes at the butter*
Me: 😮
Me: HOLY FUCK
Me: I don’t think even I would do that
Me: …IN THIS ECONOMY?????
January 8, 2026 at 2:51 PM
Watching a vid for creamy mashed potatoes.
Recipe guy: we’re weighing the potatoes so that everyone’s comes out the same
Me: ok
Recipe guy: now we’re using half the weight in butter *pokes at the butter*
Me: 😮
Me: HOLY FUCK
Me: I don’t think even I would do that
Me: …IN THIS ECONOMY?????
Recipe guy: we’re weighing the potatoes so that everyone’s comes out the same
Me: ok
Recipe guy: now we’re using half the weight in butter *pokes at the butter*
Me: 😮
Me: HOLY FUCK
Me: I don’t think even I would do that
Me: …IN THIS ECONOMY?????
Speaking of hopepunk*. If anyone hasn’t read NK Jemisin’s novelette Emergency Skin, I cannot recommend it enough. I know, this is the same person who destroyed you emotionally with the Broken Earth trilogy, but this is wonderful and completely *not* devastating.
*this one might be solar-punk?
*this one might be solar-punk?
I think you’re after hopepunk. ;)
January 5, 2026 at 6:05 PM
Speaking of hopepunk*. If anyone hasn’t read NK Jemisin’s novelette Emergency Skin, I cannot recommend it enough. I know, this is the same person who destroyed you emotionally with the Broken Earth trilogy, but this is wonderful and completely *not* devastating.
*this one might be solar-punk?
*this one might be solar-punk?
Oh wow. I just noticed that one of the good place episodes is titled, “Help is Other People.” Which is super clever and so wonderfully solar punk. (Yes yes, I’m probably misusing the term, but the feeling is there.)
January 5, 2026 at 2:56 PM
Oh wow. I just noticed that one of the good place episodes is titled, “Help is Other People.” Which is super clever and so wonderfully solar punk. (Yes yes, I’m probably misusing the term, but the feeling is there.)
Me, watching a vid about Farscape: huh, I think they gave Crais the same hair cut as Javert from Les Mis
Me, a few min later: I mean, the dudes temperament sure has a lot in common with Javert
10 minutes later…
Me, a few min later: I mean, the dudes temperament sure has a lot in common with Javert
10 minutes later…
January 3, 2026 at 10:16 PM
Me, watching a vid about Farscape: huh, I think they gave Crais the same hair cut as Javert from Les Mis
Me, a few min later: I mean, the dudes temperament sure has a lot in common with Javert
10 minutes later…
Me, a few min later: I mean, the dudes temperament sure has a lot in common with Javert
10 minutes later…
PSA: leftover purple sweet potato pudding is an excellent breakfast
(yes it’s 11:30 in my time zone. I got distracted.)
(yes it’s 11:30 in my time zone. I got distracted.)
January 2, 2026 at 4:31 PM
PSA: leftover purple sweet potato pudding is an excellent breakfast
(yes it’s 11:30 in my time zone. I got distracted.)
(yes it’s 11:30 in my time zone. I got distracted.)
No one:
Absolutely no one:
Me: HOW DARE. SCROOGE INVITED THE CRATCHETS OVER TO A TURKEY DINNER WHEN THE TURKEY HAS HAD ZERO CHANCE TO BE COOKED YET. YOU HAVE INVITED PIGGY OVER TO BE FREE LABOR FOR SEVERAL HOURS. SHAME ON YOU GONZO, BAD WRITER. NO BISCUIT.
Absolutely no one:
Me: HOW DARE. SCROOGE INVITED THE CRATCHETS OVER TO A TURKEY DINNER WHEN THE TURKEY HAS HAD ZERO CHANCE TO BE COOKED YET. YOU HAVE INVITED PIGGY OVER TO BE FREE LABOR FOR SEVERAL HOURS. SHAME ON YOU GONZO, BAD WRITER. NO BISCUIT.
January 2, 2026 at 1:41 AM
No one:
Absolutely no one:
Me: HOW DARE. SCROOGE INVITED THE CRATCHETS OVER TO A TURKEY DINNER WHEN THE TURKEY HAS HAD ZERO CHANCE TO BE COOKED YET. YOU HAVE INVITED PIGGY OVER TO BE FREE LABOR FOR SEVERAL HOURS. SHAME ON YOU GONZO, BAD WRITER. NO BISCUIT.
Absolutely no one:
Me: HOW DARE. SCROOGE INVITED THE CRATCHETS OVER TO A TURKEY DINNER WHEN THE TURKEY HAS HAD ZERO CHANCE TO BE COOKED YET. YOU HAVE INVITED PIGGY OVER TO BE FREE LABOR FOR SEVERAL HOURS. SHAME ON YOU GONZO, BAD WRITER. NO BISCUIT.
#YearOfPudding
Pudding 2: purple sweet potato
much more successful than the last one! PRETTY COLOR IS PRETTY! I would tweak the amount of corn starch slightly next time, but totes worth eating.
Pudding 2: purple sweet potato
much more successful than the last one! PRETTY COLOR IS PRETTY! I would tweak the amount of corn starch slightly next time, but totes worth eating.
January 1, 2026 at 8:35 PM
#YearOfPudding
Pudding 2: purple sweet potato
much more successful than the last one! PRETTY COLOR IS PRETTY! I would tweak the amount of corn starch slightly next time, but totes worth eating.
Pudding 2: purple sweet potato
much more successful than the last one! PRETTY COLOR IS PRETTY! I would tweak the amount of corn starch slightly next time, but totes worth eating.
🤔 methinks all those people who were looking forward to hearing about pudding yesterday are regretting it now. 🤣
December 30, 2025 at 4:27 PM
🤔 methinks all those people who were looking forward to hearing about pudding yesterday are regretting it now. 🤣