Scissors
@rningscissors.bsky.social
#I’llFigureItOut
pfp: @moxiest.art
pfp: @moxiest.art
Pinned
sometimes you gotta melt a string cheese in a tortilla
make a lil roll-up before bed
make a lil roll-up before bed
February 16, 2026 at 4:47 AM
sometimes you gotta melt a string cheese in a tortilla
make a lil roll-up before bed
make a lil roll-up before bed
Reposted by Scissors
My husband: I am definitely not autistic
*5 min later*
Me: don’t trip over that wire!
My husband: it’s a cord. A cord is a bundle of wires.
*5 min later*
Me: don’t trip over that wire!
My husband: it’s a cord. A cord is a bundle of wires.
February 16, 2026 at 1:01 AM
My husband: I am definitely not autistic
*5 min later*
Me: don’t trip over that wire!
My husband: it’s a cord. A cord is a bundle of wires.
*5 min later*
Me: don’t trip over that wire!
My husband: it’s a cord. A cord is a bundle of wires.
Reposted by Scissors
me back on my bullshit
February 15, 2026 at 2:36 PM
me back on my bullshit
Reposted by Scissors
February 16, 2026 at 1:18 AM
Reposted by Scissors
Takin my meds downtown
With a glass
Of some juice
And I'm dosed now
With a glass
Of some juice
And I'm dosed now
February 16, 2026 at 12:11 AM
Takin my meds downtown
With a glass
Of some juice
And I'm dosed now
With a glass
Of some juice
And I'm dosed now
no longer interested in doing anything that ends in -thon
February 15, 2026 at 11:27 PM
no longer interested in doing anything that ends in -thon
can i come over and score your sourdough?
February 15, 2026 at 9:42 PM
can i come over and score your sourdough?
this is not the mood i requested for the day
time to reboot the system*
*drink something with caffeine
time to reboot the system*
*drink something with caffeine
February 15, 2026 at 9:13 PM
this is not the mood i requested for the day
time to reboot the system*
*drink something with caffeine
time to reboot the system*
*drink something with caffeine
Reposted by Scissors
the periodic table of the elephants is this anything
February 15, 2026 at 8:42 PM
the periodic table of the elephants is this anything
Reposted by Scissors
oh no
i just read a second thing that has made me realize quitting electricity won’t be enough for some of us
some of us will have to experience dysentery:
survivors stand a chance for rehabilitation
those who perish will get a memorial plaque in the style of a monochrome monitor
i just read a second thing that has made me realize quitting electricity won’t be enough for some of us
some of us will have to experience dysentery:
survivors stand a chance for rehabilitation
those who perish will get a memorial plaque in the style of a monochrome monitor
February 15, 2026 at 8:02 PM
oh no
i just read a second thing that has made me realize quitting electricity won’t be enough for some of us
some of us will have to experience dysentery:
survivors stand a chance for rehabilitation
those who perish will get a memorial plaque in the style of a monochrome monitor
i just read a second thing that has made me realize quitting electricity won’t be enough for some of us
some of us will have to experience dysentery:
survivors stand a chance for rehabilitation
those who perish will get a memorial plaque in the style of a monochrome monitor
Reposted by Scissors
i would like some Austrian pancakes please
February 15, 2026 at 6:34 PM
i would like some Austrian pancakes please
i just read something that has made me realize touching grass isn’t enough to save some of us
some of us are gonna have to quit electricity entirely
some of us are gonna have to quit electricity entirely
February 15, 2026 at 7:33 PM
i just read something that has made me realize touching grass isn’t enough to save some of us
some of us are gonna have to quit electricity entirely
some of us are gonna have to quit electricity entirely
Reposted by Scissors
need to make everyone in San Francisco watch this video every morning and every night
February 15, 2026 at 6:52 PM
need to make everyone in San Francisco watch this video every morning and every night
Reposted by Scissors
WHY AM I JUST NOW LEARNING MY LE CREUSET POT CAN GO IN THE DISHWASHER?????
February 15, 2026 at 1:50 AM
WHY AM I JUST NOW LEARNING MY LE CREUSET POT CAN GO IN THE DISHWASHER?????
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It's baby seal time! This little one really wanted its mom to wake up and play, but mom really just wanted to sleep in for once on a Saturday.
#photography #wildlife #mammals
#photography #wildlife #mammals
February 14, 2026 at 8:32 PM
It's baby seal time! This little one really wanted its mom to wake up and play, but mom really just wanted to sleep in for once on a Saturday.
#photography #wildlife #mammals
#photography #wildlife #mammals
Reposted by Scissors
Shorty had them assplesaucing jeans
February 14, 2026 at 7:02 PM
Shorty had them assplesaucing jeans
Reposted by Scissors
it’s like i’m the only artist on here
February 14, 2026 at 7:00 PM
it’s like i’m the only artist on here
When ur friends with me:
February 14, 2026 at 3:53 AM
When ur friends with me:
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omg petty brilliance
February 14, 2026 at 2:25 AM
omg petty brilliance
a neighbor i lived next door to for 10 months, 8 YEARS AGO, just called to see how I was doing and then proceeded to grill me about my health and why i couldn’t work as a nurse at the bedside anymore
WHY ARE PEOPLE?
WHY ARE PEOPLE?
February 14, 2026 at 2:01 AM
a neighbor i lived next door to for 10 months, 8 YEARS AGO, just called to see how I was doing and then proceeded to grill me about my health and why i couldn’t work as a nurse at the bedside anymore
WHY ARE PEOPLE?
WHY ARE PEOPLE?
Reposted by Scissors
m.youtube.com/watch?v=zPOa...
To hear an entire stadium of grown ass middle aged adults singing about not growing up was just so fucking joyful.
If you need a dose of hope and energy @frankturner.bsky.social’s show is The Fucking Medicine.
To hear an entire stadium of grown ass middle aged adults singing about not growing up was just so fucking joyful.
If you need a dose of hope and energy @frankturner.bsky.social’s show is The Fucking Medicine.
Frank Turner - "Photosynthesis"
YouTube video by Epitaph Records
m.youtube.com
February 14, 2026 at 1:18 AM
m.youtube.com/watch?v=zPOa...
To hear an entire stadium of grown ass middle aged adults singing about not growing up was just so fucking joyful.
If you need a dose of hope and energy @frankturner.bsky.social’s show is The Fucking Medicine.
To hear an entire stadium of grown ass middle aged adults singing about not growing up was just so fucking joyful.
If you need a dose of hope and energy @frankturner.bsky.social’s show is The Fucking Medicine.
Reposted by Scissors
Nothing sadder than Rupert while his chicken is cooking. Sound on.
February 14, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Nothing sadder than Rupert while his chicken is cooking. Sound on.
i know a woman who told her husband she was going to divorce him if he didn’t stop moaning during theirs
a guy who gets dumped in the middle of a couples massage
February 14, 2026 at 12:09 AM
i know a woman who told her husband she was going to divorce him if he didn’t stop moaning during theirs