Scissors
@rningscissors.bsky.social
nurse, patient, goober
i eat window cheese & popsicles while trying to learn tech stuff
something probably made me cry today because animals exist
pfp: @moxiest.art
i eat window cheese & popsicles while trying to learn tech stuff
something probably made me cry today because animals exist
pfp: @moxiest.art
Pinned
Reposted by Scissors
If love were audible it would
snore like the dog, snuggled
against my leg in this bed, taking
more than her fair share
of space, except
her fair share is everywhere and
everything. She gives
me her affection and her
attention. She is waiting
at the door for me
when I come home. She is
perfect.
snore like the dog, snuggled
against my leg in this bed, taking
more than her fair share
of space, except
her fair share is everywhere and
everything. She gives
me her affection and her
attention. She is waiting
at the door for me
when I come home. She is
perfect.
If love were audible
November 26, 2025 at 4:17 AM
If love were audible it would
snore like the dog, snuggled
against my leg in this bed, taking
more than her fair share
of space, except
her fair share is everywhere and
everything. She gives
me her affection and her
attention. She is waiting
at the door for me
when I come home. She is
perfect.
snore like the dog, snuggled
against my leg in this bed, taking
more than her fair share
of space, except
her fair share is everywhere and
everything. She gives
me her affection and her
attention. She is waiting
at the door for me
when I come home. She is
perfect.
Reposted by Scissors
And I heard as it were
the noise of thunder
the noise of thunder
Chili Cheese Turkey | Reynolds Brands
This recipe takes its inspiration from one of the nation's most indulgent hot dog styles for a juicy, flavorful turkey.
www.reynoldsbrands.com
November 25, 2025 at 9:25 PM
And I heard as it were
the noise of thunder
the noise of thunder
OH MY GOD HE’S TRYING TO EAT THE SPOT 😭😭😭
November 26, 2025 at 3:30 AM
OH MY GOD HE’S TRYING TO EAT THE SPOT 😭😭😭
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do you say “bruschetta” like a normal person or are you an asshole?
November 26, 2025 at 1:15 AM
do you say “bruschetta” like a normal person or are you an asshole?
Wow…
One thing about millennials… y’all love an ellipses. Just say what you gotta say man! 😩
November 26, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Wow…
Not an exaggeration.
Here’s the proof:
Here’s the proof:
November 26, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Not an exaggeration.
Here’s the proof:
Here’s the proof:
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Went to get my nails done to celebrate two months of not biting them. The nail art was so good I rolled my ankle and almost fell into a ditch in the rain admiring them.
November 26, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Went to get my nails done to celebrate two months of not biting them. The nail art was so good I rolled my ankle and almost fell into a ditch in the rain admiring them.
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Here for the quatrafried beans!
November 25, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Here for the quatrafried beans!
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ReFried ReBeans
November 25, 2025 at 6:29 PM
ReFried ReBeans
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You only get to do this once more before you open a portal to hell where all the beans are infinitely refried
November 25, 2025 at 6:24 PM
You only get to do this once more before you open a portal to hell where all the beans are infinitely refried
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thrice-fried beanes
November 25, 2025 at 6:17 PM
thrice-fried beanes
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I just re-heated refried beans
Am i eating rerefried beans?!?
Am i eating rerefried beans?!?
November 25, 2025 at 6:16 PM
I just re-heated refried beans
Am i eating rerefried beans?!?
Am i eating rerefried beans?!?
i love whoever made fried beans and was like…better fry ‘em again
November 25, 2025 at 6:15 PM
i love whoever made fried beans and was like…better fry ‘em again
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You should be able call out of work "hmm, not feeling it"
November 25, 2025 at 4:59 PM
You should be able call out of work "hmm, not feeling it"
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Reselling 50 cent ramen as 50 dollar savory bath bombs is my new grift.
I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.
November 25, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Reselling 50 cent ramen as 50 dollar savory bath bombs is my new grift.
Reposted by Scissors
I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.
November 25, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.
I’ve just been informed that my posts are funnier if you read them, knowing what my accent (New Orleans-adjacent) sounds like:
so, just imagine listening to a New Yorker who’s been given a sedative
so, just imagine listening to a New Yorker who’s been given a sedative
November 25, 2025 at 4:23 PM
I’ve just been informed that my posts are funnier if you read them, knowing what my accent (New Orleans-adjacent) sounds like:
so, just imagine listening to a New Yorker who’s been given a sedative
so, just imagine listening to a New Yorker who’s been given a sedative
Y’all think the editor of the Costco Connection gets super stressed?
November 25, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Y’all think the editor of the Costco Connection gets super stressed?
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point blank staring into my neighbor's window asking them what they hell theyre doing in there until they give me a straight answer
November 25, 2025 at 3:50 PM
point blank staring into my neighbor's window asking them what they hell theyre doing in there until they give me a straight answer
This has nothing to do with people
Do not turn this into one of those weird vegetable or scotch tape analogies or whatever they were teaching y’all 😒
Do not turn this into one of those weird vegetable or scotch tape analogies or whatever they were teaching y’all 😒
It’s a well-known fact:
once you sleep in a shirt, you don’t respect it as much
once you sleep in a shirt, you don’t respect it as much
November 25, 2025 at 3:22 PM
This has nothing to do with people
Do not turn this into one of those weird vegetable or scotch tape analogies or whatever they were teaching y’all 😒
Do not turn this into one of those weird vegetable or scotch tape analogies or whatever they were teaching y’all 😒
Reposted by Scissors
let me be perfectly clear:
NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED TO DISRESPECT THE COMFY SLEEP SHIRT
mom: want me to throw away this shirt? It’s basically clear
me: don’t talk about my daughter like that
NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED TO DISRESPECT THE COMFY SLEEP SHIRT
mom: want me to throw away this shirt? It’s basically clear
me: don’t talk about my daughter like that
November 25, 2025 at 3:16 PM
let me be perfectly clear:
NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED TO DISRESPECT THE COMFY SLEEP SHIRT
mom: want me to throw away this shirt? It’s basically clear
me: don’t talk about my daughter like that
NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED TO DISRESPECT THE COMFY SLEEP SHIRT
mom: want me to throw away this shirt? It’s basically clear
me: don’t talk about my daughter like that
Reposted by Scissors
when I tell you, the number of times *this* line of thinking is what gets me to take off a good shirt
Like…this shirt still deserves to have the washing instructions followed. I can’t sleep in it yet
Like…this shirt still deserves to have the washing instructions followed. I can’t sleep in it yet
November 25, 2025 at 3:14 PM
when I tell you, the number of times *this* line of thinking is what gets me to take off a good shirt
Like…this shirt still deserves to have the washing instructions followed. I can’t sleep in it yet
Like…this shirt still deserves to have the washing instructions followed. I can’t sleep in it yet
Reposted by Scissors
It’s a well-known fact:
once you sleep in a shirt, you don’t respect it as much
once you sleep in a shirt, you don’t respect it as much
November 25, 2025 at 5:21 AM
It’s a well-known fact:
once you sleep in a shirt, you don’t respect it as much
once you sleep in a shirt, you don’t respect it as much
Reposted by Scissors
everybody smooch your dog and flip their ears inside out for me
November 25, 2025 at 2:44 PM
everybody smooch your dog and flip their ears inside out for me
I told you
BABY CORGIS ALL DAY
BABY CORGIS ALL DAY
November 25, 2025 at 3:10 PM
I told you
BABY CORGIS ALL DAY
BABY CORGIS ALL DAY