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@ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social
my mom says i’m handsome. you’re probably gonna see my dogs a lot. kansas jayhawks. kansas city: chiefs, current, royals, sporting. don’t forget to add alt text.

header: photo of the Kansas City skyline, lightning bolts striking behind it.
Pinned
Have you met Alice?
Today’s the day.
January 24, 2026 at 8:06 AM
[cues up the nihilistic penguin scene from Werner Herzog’s “Encounters at the End of the World”]
January 24, 2026 at 5:17 AM
Alexa, play the penguin scene from Werner Herzog’s “Encounters at the End of the World.”
“I couldn’t have been with Epstein that weekend,” said Mr. Trump. “I have proof. I had gone to Greenland to see the penguins.”

Encyclopedia Brown flipped to a page in his notebook, then slowly stood up.
January 24, 2026 at 5:13 AM
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To all the homies who live in my phone,
January 24, 2026 at 4:01 AM
Alice imitates Michelangelo’s “Creation of Adam” with Nala and Mowgli in the background at their shrine.

Play Massive Attack “Angel,” starting at 3m:14s.
January 24, 2026 at 3:27 AM
Have you met Alice?
January 24, 2026 at 2:12 AM
Ok, good practice with the electric blanket for the weekend.
January 23, 2026 at 1:01 AM
Meet Princess Alice of Battenberg, queen of her new home. 😍🥹
January 22, 2026 at 5:35 AM
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Now that it’s been a couple of days:

I’m glad Miami fans can get back to their regular passion - making Kalshi bets about the outcome of HR complaints leveled against them
January 21, 2026 at 1:07 PM
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January 20, 2026 at 11:51 PM
What a fun lil slumber party this has been on here tonight. Truly the real Sports App™️ 😊
January 21, 2026 at 5:33 AM
Gonna be honest, I’m not sure Polymarket or Kalshi have death betting pools. That’d basically be just short of being a tontine.
January 21, 2026 at 5:27 AM
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nantz: and so the broncos turn to jarrett stidham for this one, and the patriots are bringing the house, all-out blitz on the first snap of the game

romo: uh oh jim,
Looks like the backup is in the air
January 21, 2026 at 5:12 AM
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for what its worth, neither Kalshi nor Polymarket have bets on Trump eating it today, so if his inner circle isn't doing insider trading on him dying, he's probably still with us
January 21, 2026 at 4:48 AM
Can’t wait for my new hairstyle to grow in. Gonna be a lil party in the back
January 21, 2026 at 5:08 AM
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I’m hearing from sources he shit and pissed himself then changed his clothes and he shit and pissed himself again and then he did it a third time to prove a point so they had to turn the plane around and then he unfortunately he passed away, RIP Mr. President.
Is this real? I don’t know how to look up Air Force One on flightradar
January 21, 2026 at 3:43 AM
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This has been a test of The Funny Thing Happened Broadcast Service, and you all did great. See you next time
January 21, 2026 at 3:53 AM
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Live view of the Air Force One pilot.
January 21, 2026 at 4:11 AM
Tomorrow’s a big day. Better get some sleep.
January 21, 2026 at 5:05 AM
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There's an old saying from Ron Paul - I know it's in Lenin, probably in Ron Paul - that says there are decades where weeks...uh... and there are weeks where, uh...it's happening
January 21, 2026 at 4:51 AM
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I want to emphasize that at this time the unconfirmed reports that President Trump has both arms stuck "elbow deep" in the airplane toilet are just that. We will be monitoring this story. Please be responsible about spreading news that both his arms are "as far as they can go" into the toilet hole.
January 21, 2026 at 4:07 AM
What the fuck
Trump Announces 200% Tariff on French Wine and Champagne; Says Macron Will Join Board of Peace
January 20, 2026 at 5:07 AM
January 20, 2026 at 5:06 AM