Ryan
@ryansimmons.bsky.social
Writer/director at Secret Base - youtube.com/SecretBaseSBN
Twitch - twitch.tv/ryansimmons6ft6
Twitch - twitch.tv/ryansimmons6ft6
Nodding along and glancing at everyone else as the credits roll on another Yorgos Lanthimos film. “Yep. absolutely,” I say to nobody and a little too loudly
December 1, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Nodding along and glancing at everyone else as the credits roll on another Yorgos Lanthimos film. “Yep. absolutely,” I say to nobody and a little too loudly
I’m a Republican congressperson or cabinet member and I just cooked dinner for my family. Here’s the picture of it I’ve chosen to share on the Internet. Bon appetit!
November 29, 2025 at 9:47 PM
I’m a Republican congressperson or cabinet member and I just cooked dinner for my family. Here’s the picture of it I’ve chosen to share on the Internet. Bon appetit!
Reposted by Ryan
Little known fact: when quarterbacks are looking at the card on their wrists in a high-pressure situation they are reading a little note that says “JUST BE YOURSELF. :)”
October 27, 2024 at 12:17 AM
Little known fact: when quarterbacks are looking at the card on their wrists in a high-pressure situation they are reading a little note that says “JUST BE YOURSELF. :)”
Reposted by Ryan
the Chiefs trading Alex Smith to make room for Patrick Mahomes seems like an obvious move in hindsight
at the time, it was a biiiiig big deal
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-lE...
at the time, it was a biiiiig big deal
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-lE...
How the Chiefs altered the NFL with one move
YouTube video by Secret Base
www.youtube.com
November 26, 2025 at 6:33 PM
the Chiefs trading Alex Smith to make room for Patrick Mahomes seems like an obvious move in hindsight
at the time, it was a biiiiig big deal
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-lE...
at the time, it was a biiiiig big deal
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-lE...
Reposted by Ryan
I think plenty of it speaks to the state of the media, but an obvious one is that Vox and Vanity Fair barely investigated her and that she managed to commit an unforgivable journalistic crime before getting a book deal and walking into another prestige job, while plenty of others are being laid off
you know, what if they aren't actually a commentary on journalism or the state of media. what if these people are just extremely weird
November 27, 2025 at 3:13 AM
I think plenty of it speaks to the state of the media, but an obvious one is that Vox and Vanity Fair barely investigated her and that she managed to commit an unforgivable journalistic crime before getting a book deal and walking into another prestige job, while plenty of others are being laid off
Proud to announce that this Thanksgiving my family has partnered with Draft Kings™️ where you can place bets on:
- will uncle dave be racist (-210)
- over/under on how long it takes it to get to Charlie Kirk (32.5 minutes)
- prop bets on who cries and why (Mom; too much wine/"all this fighting")
- will uncle dave be racist (-210)
- over/under on how long it takes it to get to Charlie Kirk (32.5 minutes)
- prop bets on who cries and why (Mom; too much wine/"all this fighting")
November 27, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Proud to announce that this Thanksgiving my family has partnered with Draft Kings™️ where you can place bets on:
- will uncle dave be racist (-210)
- over/under on how long it takes it to get to Charlie Kirk (32.5 minutes)
- prop bets on who cries and why (Mom; too much wine/"all this fighting")
- will uncle dave be racist (-210)
- over/under on how long it takes it to get to Charlie Kirk (32.5 minutes)
- prop bets on who cries and why (Mom; too much wine/"all this fighting")
Oh, the crinkly little tin foil under the plastic lid? The one with the caked on bits of old dried sour cream that's made to be thrown away immediately? Why, of course I keep it on. Keeps things fresher, obviously
November 26, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Oh, the crinkly little tin foil under the plastic lid? The one with the caked on bits of old dried sour cream that's made to be thrown away immediately? Why, of course I keep it on. Keeps things fresher, obviously
Reposted by Ryan
I got so stoned at a Mets game once I compared the Jumbotron to the top screen of a Nintendo DS bc it had “a bunch of useful contextual information” and the field to the bottom screen bc “it’s where the game is actually played”
November 24, 2025 at 2:04 PM
I got so stoned at a Mets game once I compared the Jumbotron to the top screen of a Nintendo DS bc it had “a bunch of useful contextual information” and the field to the bottom screen bc “it’s where the game is actually played”
Daaamn, Aladdin had my guy down so bad he straight up started a small business
November 22, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Daaamn, Aladdin had my guy down so bad he straight up started a small business
This only ranks as Funny Detail #842 but I gotta admire starting a sext with “I mean to-“ like an old homesteader talking about his chores for the day
November 22, 2025 at 3:33 PM
This only ranks as Funny Detail #842 but I gotta admire starting a sext with “I mean to-“ like an old homesteader talking about his chores for the day
Reposted by Ryan
a little besides the point but I kinda like that the ny times is going for the "police interrogation" video podcast look
November 21, 2025 at 7:36 PM
a little besides the point but I kinda like that the ny times is going for the "police interrogation" video podcast look
Reposted by Ryan
The excellent James Brolin 1980 NYC crime thriller Night of the Juggler came out on Blu-ray a few months ago, and beyond the extremely sick chase sequence that makes up the first 25% of the movie, my favorite part is this NYPD Lt. learning what frozen yogurt is for the first time.
October 17, 2025 at 4:05 PM
The excellent James Brolin 1980 NYC crime thriller Night of the Juggler came out on Blu-ray a few months ago, and beyond the extremely sick chase sequence that makes up the first 25% of the movie, my favorite part is this NYPD Lt. learning what frozen yogurt is for the first time.
Reposted by Ryan
happy one year anniversary to the time I asked a couple of IRL buddies if they "wanted a few more followers" and then accidentally exposed them to so many people they stopped using the web site entirely
I made a starter pack of people who made a post so good I showed my wife. my wife is normal so I have to physically show her posts on here. I'll update this list every time someone makes a post so good I show it to my wife
November 21, 2025 at 4:01 PM
happy one year anniversary to the time I asked a couple of IRL buddies if they "wanted a few more followers" and then accidentally exposed them to so many people they stopped using the web site entirely
Reposted by Ryan
The smartest streamers alive
November 20, 2025 at 9:23 PM
The smartest streamers alive
never thought i'd live to see my own employer promoting fake news but i guess that's the world we live in!!!
November 20, 2025 at 9:50 PM
never thought i'd live to see my own employer promoting fake news but i guess that's the world we live in!!!
Based on the photo alone I shouted "SORCERER VIDEO GAME" before discovering it is indeed Sorcerer
nitroglycerine! manages to be an immensely competent entry in the burgeoning genre of challenging, physics-based rage games in spite of its unattainable ambitions. tellthemidied.blog/2025/11/18/s...
someone made a video game based on one of the greatest films of all time (and it’s actually pretty good)
pour one out for william friedkin
tellthemidied.blog
November 19, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Based on the photo alone I shouted "SORCERER VIDEO GAME" before discovering it is indeed Sorcerer
Reposted by Ryan
We have an opening for a This Guy over at patreon.com/secretbase
November 19, 2025 at 5:49 PM
We have an opening for a This Guy over at patreon.com/secretbase
this is my pitch deck for a remake of American Beauty
Bill Belichick attended a cheerleading competition in Raleigh, where he supported his girlfriend Jordon, a member of a coed adult cheerleading team. #BillBelichick #CollegeFootball #football
November 19, 2025 at 3:51 PM
this is my pitch deck for a remake of American Beauty
Reposted by Ryan
This shit got me feeling like the Jamaican Bargnani.
messed up a spreadsheet and inadvertently created JAMAICAN ANDREA BARGNANI
November 18, 2025 at 9:25 PM
This shit got me feeling like the Jamaican Bargnani.
this was my fault, small explosion in the lab this morning
messed up a spreadsheet and inadvertently created JAMAICAN ANDREA BARGNANI
November 18, 2025 at 9:14 PM
this was my fault, small explosion in the lab this morning
Reposted by Ryan
apparently this is the one Congressman who voted against releasing the Epstein files??? literally never heard of this guy in my life wtf
November 18, 2025 at 8:55 PM
apparently this is the one Congressman who voted against releasing the Epstein files??? literally never heard of this guy in my life wtf
Reposted by Ryan
Demi overheard a British woman in Japan. From bigsofttitty.png ep 352 - I crave release
November 13, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Demi overheard a British woman in Japan. From bigsofttitty.png ep 352 - I crave release
Reposted by Ryan
Happy 40th birthday to Bill Waterson’s ‘Calvin and Hobbes’. A work of consummate, stubborn, human, and more-than-human art.
November 18, 2025 at 10:38 AM
Happy 40th birthday to Bill Waterson’s ‘Calvin and Hobbes’. A work of consummate, stubborn, human, and more-than-human art.