Listen to me very carefully: I will never, *never*, "ask Gemini."

Happy birthday! (And how cute are Eddie and Mank?) 😂

This Simon and Simon reboot looks awful.

shout out to feminism for making the wnba commissioner just as shitty as any men’s league

Sad to see the Mercury loss but a well-earned WNBA championship for Vegas. 👏👏👏👏

I was 21 years in Canada's parliament and I have 2 simple questions:
1. Who the fuck is @vgasparro.bsky.social ?
2. Why did @mark-carney.bsky.social let him ban the Irish group @kneecapceol.bsky.social?
If there is a fund to sue for damages, count me in.
Seriously.

WNBA REFS proving everybody's point during the FUCKING FINALS

Kneecap live stream! Still pissed we cant see them next week.

Wow, the production value of the Kneecap livestream is so good! As someone in a smaller city that they’re never going to visit, I would have been happy with a basic stream of a club show. But this is amazing!

OUR ANNUAL HALLOWEEN CONTEST IS BACK!

Show your your best Graham Linehan costume for your chance to win 20 free hours of divorce attorney services and an X Premium subscription.

Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile debuts tonight on The Onion's YouTube channel at 7 p.m. ET.

Finally somebody will release some dang Epstein Files if you know what I'm sayin'!!!

I’m learning GarageBand so I remixed the original #cbc banger, the Danger Bay theme song.

Inside you, there are two wolves. Outside of you, there are like millions of wolves. Good luck with those odds.

Eat arbys

A lot of my neighbors and delivery drivers speak Arabic, so for the sign I put out on my porch with Halloween candy, I ran the phrase "Free candy for all drivers and neighbors!" through Google Translate. My FedEx guy just told me it says "Zero money for men in sweetie cars." 🫣

This is my Friday night plan too! except I’m cheap so I’m watching WNBA on a Twitch stream. 😂

Kahleah Copper…that’s all. #WNBAFinals #WNBA

A quick note about money and comedy and power.

www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/st...

Trump Asks JD Vance To Research Whether President Allowed To Kill Vice President https://theonion.com/trump-asks-jd-vance-to-research-whether-president-allowed-to-kill-vice-president/

The conversation between Klein and Coates showed me that a lot of people who screech about “infighting” on the left aren’t aware of the fact that marginalized people have been forced to learn how to regulate their emotions during conflict, and so, are better able to hear what’s actually being said.

This is the biggest, toughest article I’ve done about so-called “AI psychosis.” It’s the story of a man who committed a horrific crime in his youth but served his time and against all odds found love and a new life—one that completely unraveled after he started talking to Google’s Gemini chatbot.

Marry someone who says:
- I love you
- I’m proud of you
- yes we can go take the ferry
- no taking three round trips on the ferry isn’t too much
- yes we can take the ferry again
- no I don’t mind ruining my good hair day with sea spray
- yes I’ll buy you pretzel from the galley

remember, bun:

It is Season 16 eve.