Secretions
@secretions.bsky.social
70 followers 150 following 390 posts
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I know it was an onion article, but I think it's finally Apple's time to do the Macbook Wheel for real.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BnL...
> "Our parents aren't having children."

Yeah, they probably learned their lesson.
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Knowing that this guy is hunting around in the ocean depths looking like a fed during a shutdown warms my chilled heart.
His name is Jeff.
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> It is 2025 BC. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis

> It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis
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He doesn't know how to use the shells
All right, y'all, help me out. This is a bidet, right? (It's in my airbnb.) So, the idea is, you poop in the toilet and then...crab walk a few feet to your left, with your pants down? And stick your butt down in this thing? There's no seat, as such, so you're just...hovering your butt down into it?
Also, very appropriate recommendation here.
I ran into some slop channel that steals @kylekulinskishow.bsky.social videos and overlays just his face over totally random and unrelated stock footage. Don't support this of course, but the result is weirdly hilarious.
Escape from Portland where Snake Plissken grants his captors plenary authority to kiss his ass while resisting arrest before being sent on a mission to the city to save a podcaster's daughter. They drop him off in the parking lot where Wilsonville Fry's used to be—as far as the military dares to go.
I wish we could all just go back to usenet somehow.
Based FDR 80 years beyond the grave
I'm not sure parents today would take their under-10 kids to see Jacob's Ladder, but they should because it's not just about the p—
It's time to get badong.
My assumption continues to hold.

bsky.app/profile/did:...
I'm assuming his career is actually some sort of Andy Kaufmann-style performance art.
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Engraving two bullets with "this bullet only lies" and "this bullet only tells the truth" to really stump the FBI
"What if Pony Island was a captcha?" someone asked, hating the world.
The second best time is n—wait, what?
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If they're going to try and retcon Charlie Kirk, then we should try to retcon him too.
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NYT: gone. WaPo: gone. LA Times: gone. CBS: gone. CNN: gone. MSNBC: going.

Plus almost all local newspapers & local TV news stations.

Plus almost all of social media.

The information environment is utterly dominated by the right & everything else is downstream of that.
The Washington Post was the paper of my teen dreams -- whose courage helped convince me to chose a life in journalism. Monday's firing of the Post's moral beacon, Karen Attiah, proved that a newsroom I'd believed in is now dead to me

Why I finally ditched the Post www.inquirer.com/columnists/a...
The Washington Post has broken my heart | Will Bunch Newsletter
Plus, the best Democrat in America right now.
www.inquirer.com
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Sinclair is demanding that Kimmel apologize to the family (?) and also "make a meaningful personal donation to the Kirk Family and Turning Point USA"

Are you fucking kidding me? It's not enough they got him fired, they want him to grovel and send money to these anti-free speech grifters?
#BREAKING: Sinclair says it will air a one-hour tribute to Charlie Kirk on its ABC-affiliated stations in the time slot that is usually occupied for "Jimmy Kimmel Live." The special will air on Friday, per a Sinclair spokesperson.
Can Australia and Mexico trade places so I can get an easy D and not miss anything at all?
For the rest of your life, you can only eat food from one of these regions. Which do you choose?

For more maps: brilliantmaps.beehiiv.com/s...
Or perhaps this is the cassette release of Sam Harris's late '80's adult contemporary album.