crappystuffforjerks
@somecleverthing.bsky.social
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Your Joke is Factually Incorrect: A Guide to Dying Alone
The word you’re looking for is “woman.” Furthermore: eat shit.
December 7, 2025 at 6:18 AM
The word you’re looking for is “woman.” Furthermore: eat shit.
Wild that you can just be walking around, living your life and BAM!! Out of nowhere someone else’s shift in mood ruins it all.
If you’re not the kind of person who feels that I love you tell me your secrets.
If you’re not the kind of person who feels that I love you tell me your secrets.
December 7, 2025 at 6:10 AM
Wild that you can just be walking around, living your life and BAM!! Out of nowhere someone else’s shift in mood ruins it all.
If you’re not the kind of person who feels that I love you tell me your secrets.
If you’re not the kind of person who feels that I love you tell me your secrets.
To the ladies who pretend to be your friend be they wanna get close to your boyfriend: we see you. We don’t say anything because it’s not worth it.
But when it’s someone you thought might actually be cool? And it turns out you’re just being used? Girls. That sucks. Let’s be better.
But when it’s someone you thought might actually be cool? And it turns out you’re just being used? Girls. That sucks. Let’s be better.
December 5, 2025 at 3:30 AM
To the ladies who pretend to be your friend be they wanna get close to your boyfriend: we see you. We don’t say anything because it’s not worth it.
But when it’s someone you thought might actually be cool? And it turns out you’re just being used? Girls. That sucks. Let’s be better.
But when it’s someone you thought might actually be cool? And it turns out you’re just being used? Girls. That sucks. Let’s be better.
Bought THE most basic Christmas tree stand.
Assembly should be easy…
When I tell you I’ve assembled ENTIRE BOOKSHELVES with less frustration.
Of course there are no instructions. (it’s EASY) but I found a QR code.
I think I’m saved.
FRIENDS
IT LINKS TO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STAND.
Assembly should be easy…
When I tell you I’ve assembled ENTIRE BOOKSHELVES with less frustration.
Of course there are no instructions. (it’s EASY) but I found a QR code.
I think I’m saved.
FRIENDS
IT LINKS TO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STAND.
December 4, 2025 at 8:27 AM
Bought THE most basic Christmas tree stand.
Assembly should be easy…
When I tell you I’ve assembled ENTIRE BOOKSHELVES with less frustration.
Of course there are no instructions. (it’s EASY) but I found a QR code.
I think I’m saved.
FRIENDS
IT LINKS TO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STAND.
Assembly should be easy…
When I tell you I’ve assembled ENTIRE BOOKSHELVES with less frustration.
Of course there are no instructions. (it’s EASY) but I found a QR code.
I think I’m saved.
FRIENDS
IT LINKS TO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STAND.
I can’t handle that the biggest point differential in an NFL game was when the Bears TROUNCED the Redskins 73-0 and the officials had to ask the Bears not to kick any more extra points because they only had one ball left.
December 2, 2025 at 7:45 AM
I can’t handle that the biggest point differential in an NFL game was when the Bears TROUNCED the Redskins 73-0 and the officials had to ask the Bears not to kick any more extra points because they only had one ball left.
This Bucks Wizards game is embarrassing.
December 2, 2025 at 2:09 AM
This Bucks Wizards game is embarrassing.
Reposted by crappystuffforjerks
My niece is drawing everyone's picture, one by one revealing our deepest insecurities like a she's in a Stephen King book
November 27, 2025 at 7:15 PM
My niece is drawing everyone's picture, one by one revealing our deepest insecurities like a she's in a Stephen King book
My dad put this on so many road trip mixed tapes… I listened to it today for the first time in a minute, and it’s a banger. Seriously.
music.apple.com/us/album/hoo...
music.apple.com/us/album/hoo...
Hooked On Classics (Pts. 1 & 2) by Royal Philharmonic Orchestra on Apple Music
Song · 1981 · Duration 5:06
music.apple.com
November 20, 2025 at 8:50 AM
My dad put this on so many road trip mixed tapes… I listened to it today for the first time in a minute, and it’s a banger. Seriously.
music.apple.com/us/album/hoo...
music.apple.com/us/album/hoo...
I can only assume that everyone read this and didn’t reply because they were too busy sending good vibes in the direction of the Knicks. It worked!
Good job, team.
Good job, team.
Can we all just root for the Knicks?
14 lead changes and 10 ties is insane.
14 lead changes and 10 ties is insane.
November 20, 2025 at 6:12 AM
I can only assume that everyone read this and didn’t reply because they were too busy sending good vibes in the direction of the Knicks. It worked!
Good job, team.
Good job, team.
Can we all just root for the Knicks?
14 lead changes and 10 ties is insane.
14 lead changes and 10 ties is insane.
November 20, 2025 at 4:40 AM
Can we all just root for the Knicks?
14 lead changes and 10 ties is insane.
14 lead changes and 10 ties is insane.
The Nets (who are 2-11) are currently beating the Celtics and I’m hard pressed to think of a sports thing that could make me happier in this moment.
November 19, 2025 at 1:54 AM
The Nets (who are 2-11) are currently beating the Celtics and I’m hard pressed to think of a sports thing that could make me happier in this moment.
Me, bartending.
Dude: can you turn on the Wisconsin game?
Me: it’ll be on in 15 minutes
Dude: some people probably want to watch this football game
Me: the rerun of the Badgers game from this weekend? It’s gonna be interrupted by the basketball game
Dude: I just want to watch basketball
Me: got it
Dude: can you turn on the Wisconsin game?
Me: it’ll be on in 15 minutes
Dude: some people probably want to watch this football game
Me: the rerun of the Badgers game from this weekend? It’s gonna be interrupted by the basketball game
Dude: I just want to watch basketball
Me: got it
November 18, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Me, bartending.
Dude: can you turn on the Wisconsin game?
Me: it’ll be on in 15 minutes
Dude: some people probably want to watch this football game
Me: the rerun of the Badgers game from this weekend? It’s gonna be interrupted by the basketball game
Dude: I just want to watch basketball
Me: got it
Dude: can you turn on the Wisconsin game?
Me: it’ll be on in 15 minutes
Dude: some people probably want to watch this football game
Me: the rerun of the Badgers game from this weekend? It’s gonna be interrupted by the basketball game
Dude: I just want to watch basketball
Me: got it
I just said “it’s been a long week” out loud.
Friends. It’s Monday.
Friends. It’s Monday.
November 18, 2025 at 12:59 AM
I just said “it’s been a long week” out loud.
Friends. It’s Monday.
Friends. It’s Monday.
I asked a man in the bar this question and he said SQUIRREL. I can’t stop laughing.
November 16, 2025 at 9:07 PM
I asked a man in the bar this question and he said SQUIRREL. I can’t stop laughing.
Goin to a hockey game tomorrow.
That is all.
That is all.
November 14, 2025 at 5:30 AM
Goin to a hockey game tomorrow.
That is all.
That is all.
Say what you want about Aaron Sorkin, but I’ve been crying my way through a third watch of “The Newsroom.” A show that old shouldn’t feel so prescient. But here we are.
November 12, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Say what you want about Aaron Sorkin, but I’ve been crying my way through a third watch of “The Newsroom.” A show that old shouldn’t feel so prescient. But here we are.
He can’t be talking about ACTUAL magnets, she thought to herself stupidly. Spoiler alert: he was indeed talking about magnets.
November 11, 2025 at 7:58 AM
He can’t be talking about ACTUAL magnets, she thought to herself stupidly. Spoiler alert: he was indeed talking about magnets.
The way so many people today tried to talk to me about a new round of “stimulus checks” from “tariff revenues” was genuinely unsettling.
November 11, 2025 at 6:06 AM
The way so many people today tried to talk to me about a new round of “stimulus checks” from “tariff revenues” was genuinely unsettling.
The end of that Packer game was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen.
I say this as a Packer fan.
I say this as a Packer fan.
November 11, 2025 at 4:24 AM
The end of that Packer game was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen.
I say this as a Packer fan.
I say this as a Packer fan.
The end of that Bucks game had me dying. Giannis’ face…
November 11, 2025 at 4:11 AM
The end of that Bucks game had me dying. Giannis’ face…
“Just my opinion. This has been one of the most entertaining scoreless first halves of a football game that I’ve ever watched.” - the only thing Joe Buck has ever said that I found even moderately amusing. (Maybe it was Aikman- doesn’t matter. The song remains the same.)
November 11, 2025 at 2:41 AM
“Just my opinion. This has been one of the most entertaining scoreless first halves of a football game that I’ve ever watched.” - the only thing Joe Buck has ever said that I found even moderately amusing. (Maybe it was Aikman- doesn’t matter. The song remains the same.)
Not some dude who “loves sports” watching the Packers/Eagles pregame and hollerin “who the hell is that bald guy?”
The “bald guy?”
Scott Van Pelt.
There are. No words.
The “bald guy?”
Scott Van Pelt.
There are. No words.
November 11, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Not some dude who “loves sports” watching the Packers/Eagles pregame and hollerin “who the hell is that bald guy?”
The “bald guy?”
Scott Van Pelt.
There are. No words.
The “bald guy?”
Scott Van Pelt.
There are. No words.
Anyone else have a thing where Snapchat randomly adds some “public” person and then sends notifications every time they post stupid shit or is that just me?
November 10, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Anyone else have a thing where Snapchat randomly adds some “public” person and then sends notifications every time they post stupid shit or is that just me?
Reposted by crappystuffforjerks
Senate Democrats are like “with your donation of $25 or more, we will help Donald Trump kill you”
November 10, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Senate Democrats are like “with your donation of $25 or more, we will help Donald Trump kill you”
Reposted by crappystuffforjerks
the universe could do the funniest thing
The procedural vote stands at 59–40, and the Senate is waiting for John Cornyn to get to the Capitol from Dulles
November 10, 2025 at 3:13 AM
the universe could do the funniest thing