crappystuffforjerks
@somecleverthing.bsky.social
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somecleverthing.bsky.social
Your Joke is Factually Incorrect: A Guide to Dying Alone
somecleverthing.bsky.social
Clowns are unsettling because they’re always smiling.

No one who smiles constantly is ok.
somecleverthing.bsky.social
When a baseball game hits 14 innings they should just release a tiger onto the field and whomever is mauled first loses.

What I’m trying to say is 14 innings is too many.
somecleverthing.bsky.social
Gotta take the wins where they come.
somecleverthing.bsky.social
Everything is exhausting and all of it hurts.
somecleverthing.bsky.social
I was STARVING after work.
My boyfriend very kindly set about making me some eggs.
He set the plate down in front of me.
I just.
Look. I think most of us see scrambled eggs and we KNOW what they’re going to taste like, and it’s not honey.
It’s never one time been honey.
Tonight it was honey.
https://like.it’s
somecleverthing.bsky.social
This level of stupidity genuinely frightens me.
somecleverthing.bsky.social
(Did I eat a gummy? The world may never know.)
somecleverthing.bsky.social
I genuinely think that if you examined the rise of pay-to-watch sports in relation to the width of the divide between liberals and conservatives you would at the very least find some correlations worth exploring.
somecleverthing.bsky.social
(Ok. Two colons in one sentence is completely unhinged, and I apologize.)
somecleverthing.bsky.social
All of those things used to be accessible to ANYONE with a television - which, yes: still a privilege, but please: just give me this- and that made them a unifying force.

At the very least, they were a topic of discussion in which most people were able to participate. 🧵
somecleverthing.bsky.social
The way people in this bar were ready to riot because they couldn’t watch the first inning of the Brewers game…

Blacking sports out in local markets- making them accessible only through sites or channels you have to pay for- is absolute garbage.

Baseball. Football. Basketball… 🧵

#mlb
Reposted by crappystuffforjerks
elleisanisland.bsky.social
I'm happy to be alive but it's the worst thing that's ever happened to me
somecleverthing.bsky.social
Imagine being angry that an artist you love made a record that celebrated their happiness.
Especially if you’ve been a fan of theirs for long enough that you’ve been a witness to their heartache.
Sorry that you want everyone to be miserable forever: feels like that’s on you.
somecleverthing.bsky.social
It’s legitimately one of the most unhinged things I’ve ever had the displeasure of hearing.
somecleverthing.bsky.social
Boil some water, love.
Turn on the grill.
It’ll take less time.
somecleverthing.bsky.social
My boyfriend just asked me how long he should microwave corn… it took me a second to realize this man meant RAW corn.
On the cob.
somecleverthing.bsky.social
Jokes aside, WHY IS SHE SHAVING STRAIGHT DOWN??? Is this a thing people do????
somecleverthing.bsky.social
Also wtf. Leave me and my razor alone. I’m not going into the kitchen for a damn egg, man.
somecleverthing.bsky.social
The way I was the definition of furrowed brow the entire time I was watching this 🤣
somecleverthing.bsky.social
Is a hot dog a sandwich?
Is cereal soup?