Coffee Porter Jr.
@unlox.bsky.social
“From the number of imaginable cities we must exclude those whose elements are assembled without a connecting thread, an inner rule, a perspective, a discourse.” -Italo Calvino, Invisible Cities (transl. William Weaver)
header by MV, quoting Waikiki Wanda
header by MV, quoting Waikiki Wanda
Pinned
Coffee Porter Jr.
@unlox.bsky.social
· Nov 14
seems there’s someone else using the counterfax handle on here. here’s a verification jones to demonstrate I’m cfax from twitter
Reposted by Coffee Porter Jr.
I arrive at the thanksgiving dinner table holding a chocolate pie with the carefully-crafted message “THE LAST JEDI WAS GOOD” written on it in whipped cream. “This counts as a side,” I say. Under the pie I’ve written on the tin “THIS IS A BAD HOLIDAY / ALSO BUILD MORE HOUSING”
November 25, 2025 at 10:19 PM
I arrive at the thanksgiving dinner table holding a chocolate pie with the carefully-crafted message “THE LAST JEDI WAS GOOD” written on it in whipped cream. “This counts as a side,” I say. Under the pie I’ve written on the tin “THIS IS A BAD HOLIDAY / ALSO BUILD MORE HOUSING”
seeing some takes about how the mayors of NYC, Boston, and DC interact with Donald Trump, and you’re not gonna believe this, but there’s gender happening
November 25, 2025 at 9:01 PM
seeing some takes about how the mayors of NYC, Boston, and DC interact with Donald Trump, and you’re not gonna believe this, but there’s gender happening
this is the worst opinion I’ve ever seen from a regular Pat McAfee Show guest
Apple pie is bad. This is not really debatable. So is key lime pie, while we’re on the topic. Pecan pie is the 🐐 tho.
November 25, 2025 at 7:45 PM
this is the worst opinion I’ve ever seen from a regular Pat McAfee Show guest
Ben Collins vindicated
Adolescence lasts into 30s - new study shows four pivotal ages for your brain
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cgl6klez226o?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=rss
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cgl6klez226o?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=rss
November 25, 2025 at 7:36 PM
Ben Collins vindicated
GUIL: You can’t not be hungry.
ROS: I’ve frequently not been hungry.
GUIL: No no no, what you’ve been is not hungry.
ROS: I’ve frequently not been hungry.
GUIL: No no no, what you’ve been is not hungry.
I saw some horrible copy on a Chili's menu tonight:
HUNGRY? Get ready not to be
HUNGRY? Get ready not to be
November 25, 2025 at 7:28 PM
GUIL: You can’t not be hungry.
ROS: I’ve frequently not been hungry.
GUIL: No no no, what you’ve been is not hungry.
ROS: I’ve frequently not been hungry.
GUIL: No no no, what you’ve been is not hungry.
TWENTY YEARS AGO WE HAD BOB HOPE, STEVE JOBS, AND KASH PATEL
KASH PATEL ON FIRING WATCH, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, REPEAT KASH PATEL ON FIRING WATCH
President Trump may have had enough of Kash Patel, according to sources
The president is weighing whether to oust the FBI director after scrutiny of Patel's stewardship of bureau resources, including his girlfriend’s security detail and use of a government jet.
www.ms.now
November 25, 2025 at 7:03 PM
TWENTY YEARS AGO WE HAD BOB HOPE, STEVE JOBS, AND KASH PATEL
too many people throwing out mildly problematic franchises without elaboration. it’s Woke 2, people! give me American Pie movies about radical self-love, make Harold & Kumar vegan, get MGM to recasting so we can have Theymes Bond, *something*
what stale hollywood franchise should the next dem president bring back
November 25, 2025 at 5:39 PM
too many people throwing out mildly problematic franchises without elaboration. it’s Woke 2, people! give me American Pie movies about radical self-love, make Harold & Kumar vegan, get MGM to recasting so we can have Theymes Bond, *something*
oh that’s why people are posting 2005 primary polling. should’ve known
November 25, 2025 at 4:18 PM
oh that’s why people are posting 2005 primary polling. should’ve known
what do you *mean* I got covid less than two weeks after getting vaccinated. I’m calling Olivia Nuzzi
I’m in bed with a cold rn but I’m glad you all are having fun getting brock sturdy
November 25, 2025 at 12:20 PM
what do you *mean* I got covid less than two weeks after getting vaccinated. I’m calling Olivia Nuzzi
I’m in bed with a cold rn but I’m glad you all are having fun getting brock sturdy
November 25, 2025 at 2:06 AM
I’m in bed with a cold rn but I’m glad you all are having fun getting brock sturdy
fun hack for anyone trying to get a good grade in therapy: I described this post today and it *killed*
[most viscerally personally unpleasant person you've ever met] i'm going to lead a mass movement of the workers
November 25, 2025 at 12:13 AM
fun hack for anyone trying to get a good grade in therapy: I described this post today and it *killed*
20 million Americans going “well flights are more expensive, on time less, explode more often, and aren’t affordable for me, but look how nice everyone’s dressed in this Fox News b-roll!”
Genuinely wonder how the hell an economy killer administration comes to “dress up to travel” as their winning messaging.
November 24, 2025 at 10:37 PM
20 million Americans going “well flights are more expensive, on time less, explode more often, and aren’t affordable for me, but look how nice everyone’s dressed in this Fox News b-roll!”
People are still arguing star war because of Pritzker, I say we uno-reverse the discourse. Andor characters by who they want to be the 2028 Dem nominee
Cassian: Van Hollen
Bix: Beshear
Luthen: Gallego
Kleya: Pritzker
Vel: AOC
Dedra: doesn’t care, is all in on Vance
Syril: Newsom
Cassian: Van Hollen
Bix: Beshear
Luthen: Gallego
Kleya: Pritzker
Vel: AOC
Dedra: doesn’t care, is all in on Vance
Syril: Newsom
November 24, 2025 at 9:58 PM
People are still arguing star war because of Pritzker, I say we uno-reverse the discourse. Andor characters by who they want to be the 2028 Dem nominee
Cassian: Van Hollen
Bix: Beshear
Luthen: Gallego
Kleya: Pritzker
Vel: AOC
Dedra: doesn’t care, is all in on Vance
Syril: Newsom
Cassian: Van Hollen
Bix: Beshear
Luthen: Gallego
Kleya: Pritzker
Vel: AOC
Dedra: doesn’t care, is all in on Vance
Syril: Newsom
Reposted by Coffee Porter Jr.
the "cancelling on your friends is self-care" to "inaccurately left-coded hyper-individualism" pipeline
November 24, 2025 at 12:11 PM
the "cancelling on your friends is self-care" to "inaccurately left-coded hyper-individualism" pipeline
rodgler trying to play against the bears:
i am absolutely not doing fucking bedtime discourse, i am 45 years old, if you lecture me about what time i should be going to bed and waking up i will cram you into a cannon and shoot you into the sun myself
November 24, 2025 at 8:26 PM
rodgler trying to play against the bears:
we are going to win
November 24, 2025 at 5:02 PM
we are going to win
me last year about the “fire mike tomlin” guy
November 24, 2025 at 4:33 AM
me last year about the “fire mike tomlin” guy
DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO CARES WHAT THE GREAT PUMPKIN THINKS
It is not hands that call us, it is desire, Charlie Brown.
Nobody trusts anyone anymore, Charlie Brown
November 24, 2025 at 3:46 AM
DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO CARES WHAT THE GREAT PUMPKIN THINKS
absolutely I want my drinkware’s aesthetic to be “los alamos demon core”
Cocktail Set, Model 326, by Russel Wright
American, 1904–1976
1930
More info: https://www.artic.edu/artworks/202820
American, 1904–1976
1930
More info: https://www.artic.edu/artworks/202820
November 24, 2025 at 2:26 AM
absolutely I want my drinkware’s aesthetic to be “los alamos demon core”
I remember when you were just a little boy, how much time you’d spend playing that Xbox with a Mountain Dew at your side. You barely had to be told to drink your verification can! Do you remember me like I remember you
I’ve been thinking so much about this. A class I was in last year did an exercise applying a Black Mirror episode to surveillance capitalism tech, and my contribution was “what if the chatbot with your dearly departed grandpa starts casually mentioning how much he enjoyed a cold Pepsi on a hot day”
November 24, 2025 at 2:00 AM
I remember when you were just a little boy, how much time you’d spend playing that Xbox with a Mountain Dew at your side. You barely had to be told to drink your verification can! Do you remember me like I remember you
🎵Football alone can make my song take flight / It’s over now, the wait for Sunday night🎵
The Phantom of the Opera should do one of the Football Night songs
November 24, 2025 at 1:26 AM
🎵Football alone can make my song take flight / It’s over now, the wait for Sunday night🎵
I’d petsit for free but if you go out and buy beers specifically for me it’d be rude not to drink them
November 24, 2025 at 1:11 AM
I’d petsit for free but if you go out and buy beers specifically for me it’d be rude not to drink them
huge Sunday for Priors
November 24, 2025 at 12:48 AM
huge Sunday for Priors
[star wars voice] kedon slovis
November 23, 2025 at 11:25 PM
[star wars voice] kedon slovis