Author | Lightnews

Mum

@vikatoyah.bsky.social

58 followers 71 following 87 posts

Socially medium. Not funny, annoying. Been offline a while. Missed you.

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Mum @vikatoyah.bsky.social · Nov 16

Just finished the build your own dog kit I got for Christmas

Image of jumping dog seems to have giant front legs and tiny rear legs. Also pulling a goofy face. Looks like a dog drawn by someone who has never met a dog.

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Lwo tew a @levisatyrane.bsky.social · May 8

Oh yeah nice one kid hook that hope for humanity right into my veins

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Mum @vikatoyah.bsky.social · May 7

Ask their mum to look. She’ll find them together in the sock drawer.

Steve Herman @newsguy.bsky.social · May 7

CNN - Another F/A-18 Super Hornet fighter jet from the USS Harry S. Truman aircraft carrier has been lost in the Red Sea, the second jet lost from the carrier in just over a week. https://www.cnn.com/2025/05/06/politics/second-us-navy-jet-is-lost-at-sea

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Cheryl Rosbak @csrosbak.bsky.social · May 6

Who knew a fish could express "What the fuck was that?" with such ease.

でんか @k-hermit.com · May 6

🐡

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Paul Bassett Davies @thewritertype.bsky.social · May 7

Black smoke from the Vatican chimney means they haven't chosen a new pope yet. White smoke means they've finally decided. If the entire place burns down, it means Trump is pope.

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Spoon & Tamago @spoon-tamago.bsky.social · May 5

This wrapping paper turns everything into bread 🥖

Created by Japanese designer Ippei Tsujio

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Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · Apr 17

What’s the matter? You’ve barely touched your Easter potato.

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Mum @vikatoyah.bsky.social · Apr 18

Oldest declared it would be lame and youngest is too young. I have never been more grateful.

Mum @vikatoyah.bsky.social · Apr 16

Ah disappointing!

Mum @vikatoyah.bsky.social · Apr 16

Ooh I got The Dark Knight Rises. Turns out my mum used to take me to feed the ducks at Wayne Manor.

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Max Dubler 🏳️‍🌈 @maxdubler.com · Apr 3

Tapping the sign.

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Channel 4 @channel4.bsky.social · Apr 3

As retaliation for the Tariffs we will now be showing any American made TV show without the last five minutes. Good luck finding out how Frasier got out of that one.

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Mum @vikatoyah.bsky.social · Apr 2

Breaking: Trump to apply tariffs to Skull, Treasure and Barry Island.

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Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · Apr 1

if there's one thing Evangelical Christians know it's that having the state execute a beloved dissident always stops that dissident's message from spreading so yeah seeking the death penalty for Luigi Mangione seems smart

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Simon Threadgold @dimwittedly.bsky.social · Apr 1

She died in binary. That’s dedication. RIP.

Unofficial BBCNews (UK) Bot @bbcnews-uk-rss.bsky.social · Apr 1

Bletchley Park code breaker Betty Webb dies aged 101

Betty Webb MBE worked at Bletchley Park during World War Two intercepting enemy messages.

www.bbc.com

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Mum @vikatoyah.bsky.social · Apr 1

Get your injuries checked out dearies x

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After Dinner Conversation® @afterdinnerconversation.com · Apr 1

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Mum @vikatoyah.bsky.social · Apr 1

No YOU broke your wrist 2 weeks ago, just thought it was bruised and decided to get an X-ray today because your thumb is a bit weak and turns out that bone has blood supply and if it doesn’t heal right or breaks again you could lose feeling in your thumb or kill it off completely.

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fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · Mar 30

My girlfriend tells me not to put pans in the dishwasher. When she goes out to work I put those bad boys go straight in the dishwasher for a minimum 3 hour boil wash and then back out on the drainer, like they've just been washed by hand, just like she told me. Makes me so happy.

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Gaby Hinsliff @gabyhinsliff.bsky.social · Mar 30

From a Sunday Telegraph story about people who have inherited houses while already owning one, complaining that having to pay double council tax on this second home (if they keep it) is ‘extortion’ and I just…cannot

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fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · Mar 28

Cunt in a van cut me off to get in a petrol station. Sitting behind him fuming, I noticed his g/f or wife was with him. He gave her his phone to hold. I texted the number on the van: "The sex was amazing. Same time next week?" The yelling began as soon as he got back in the van.

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Mum @vikatoyah.bsky.social · Mar 28

I’m bringing sweaty back
Hot flushes, mood swings
Don’t overreact

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Dubious Genius @dubiousgenius.bsky.social · Feb 18

Love isn't blind, it's just willing to turn a blind eye.

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Mum @vikatoyah.bsky.social · Feb 5

This club definitely has sticky floors

Sign in a hospital pointing to the Discharge Lounge.

Mum @vikatoyah.bsky.social · Jan 24

Yeah I’m kind of a big deal. This one time I got 10 upvotes on Reddit.

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☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · Jan 24

"You're so funny" Thanks, I am a twisted abomination molded by years of trauma unable to find any reasonable way to express myself beyond making people maybe crack a smile once or twice with some clever turn of phrase.

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