☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
@captantagonist.bsky.social
This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here.
Or here: https://shorturl.at/HAomx
Newest: https://shorturl.at/WSYWt
Or here: https://shorturl.at/HAomx
Newest: https://shorturl.at/WSYWt
Pinned
I want to install a speaker system on my lighthouse so when it guides ships to shore it can start playing a siren song at the last minute.
Prevented the collapse of society once again today by reposting some funny words online.
November 26, 2025 at 3:35 AM
Prevented the collapse of society once again today by reposting some funny words online.
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
If I was an elected official, I would simply not do crime
November 26, 2025 at 1:15 AM
If I was an elected official, I would simply not do crime
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
I’ve don’t use Google. I text my friend Randall who used to be a dental assistant
November 26, 2025 at 1:30 AM
I’ve don’t use Google. I text my friend Randall who used to be a dental assistant
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
“Don’t suffer in silence”
Me: that’s the only way I know how
Me: that’s the only way I know how
November 26, 2025 at 1:47 AM
“Don’t suffer in silence”
Me: that’s the only way I know how
Me: that’s the only way I know how
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
the existence of zebras implies the existence of zetitties
November 26, 2025 at 1:50 AM
the existence of zebras implies the existence of zetitties
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
I keep slipping through the multiverse and landing weird
November 26, 2025 at 3:04 AM
I keep slipping through the multiverse and landing weird
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
homestar: come to bsky dot com!
voice offscreen: it's dot app
homestar: come to bsky dot com, it's dot app!
voice offscreen: it's dot app
homestar: come to bsky dot com, it's dot app!
November 26, 2025 at 3:07 AM
homestar: come to bsky dot com!
voice offscreen: it's dot app
homestar: come to bsky dot com, it's dot app!
voice offscreen: it's dot app
homestar: come to bsky dot com, it's dot app!
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
Oh, you can't use your tiny mouthparts to shovel tiny shrimp into your maw?
Sounds like a krill issue.
Sounds like a krill issue.
November 26, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Oh, you can't use your tiny mouthparts to shovel tiny shrimp into your maw?
Sounds like a krill issue.
Sounds like a krill issue.
I'm thankful for the curse of aging. Forgetting things is so much easier than letting go and growing as a person.
November 26, 2025 at 3:30 AM
I'm thankful for the curse of aging. Forgetting things is so much easier than letting go and growing as a person.
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
coheed AND cambria in this economy??
November 26, 2025 at 1:25 AM
coheed AND cambria in this economy??
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
The void is whispering your name Charlie Brown.
November 26, 2025 at 1:41 AM
The void is whispering your name Charlie Brown.
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
[Lawyer in a TV ad voice] Have you had an affair with Olivia Nuzzi? Did she humiliate you by writing about you in pretentious and flowery prose? Has she described your eyes as "blue as the flame"? Or "looking at you like they wanted to devour your soul"? If so, you may be entitled to compensation
November 26, 2025 at 1:42 AM
[Lawyer in a TV ad voice] Have you had an affair with Olivia Nuzzi? Did she humiliate you by writing about you in pretentious and flowery prose? Has she described your eyes as "blue as the flame"? Or "looking at you like they wanted to devour your soul"? If so, you may be entitled to compensation
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate the affordability and that the cost hasn't inflated, but I wish Aldi didn't make you buy a 25¢ cart every single time, I am running out of garage and bakyard space
November 24, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate the affordability and that the cost hasn't inflated, but I wish Aldi didn't make you buy a 25¢ cart every single time, I am running out of garage and bakyard space
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
Okay, I hear y'all loud and clear, I will be running for every open seat and position in government, make sure to vote for me everywhere as many times as you can
November 24, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Okay, I hear y'all loud and clear, I will be running for every open seat and position in government, make sure to vote for me everywhere as many times as you can
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
take this buzzfeed quiz to find out which horseman of the apocalypse you are
November 24, 2025 at 11:28 PM
take this buzzfeed quiz to find out which horseman of the apocalypse you are
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
A “smooth criminal” is just a criminal who is well moisturized.
November 24, 2025 at 11:30 PM
A “smooth criminal” is just a criminal who is well moisturized.
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
Him: "why are you naked?"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
November 24, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Him: "why are you naked?"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
Will I understand the movie Seven if I haven't seen the movies One through Six, and have never felt the warming glow of a woman's loving embrace?
November 25, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Will I understand the movie Seven if I haven't seen the movies One through Six, and have never felt the warming glow of a woman's loving embrace?
Fellas, is it gay to succumb to the ancient pharaoh’s curse while slurping down the ram-headed creator god’s Khnum?
November 25, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Fellas, is it gay to succumb to the ancient pharaoh’s curse while slurping down the ram-headed creator god’s Khnum?
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
poasting from bed to prove I have self discipline
November 25, 2025 at 12:00 AM
poasting from bed to prove I have self discipline
Disengage me like one of your French girls.
November 24, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Disengage me like one of your French girls.
I'm thankful for the pulsating black void where the moon used to be.
November 24, 2025 at 10:42 PM
I'm thankful for the pulsating black void where the moon used to be.
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
together we can conquer the world of warcraft
November 24, 2025 at 7:17 PM
together we can conquer the world of warcraft
Reposted by ☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
MRS. SCHRÖDINGER: hey where did my cat go
November 24, 2025 at 8:26 PM
MRS. SCHRÖDINGER: hey where did my cat go