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@writingdcm.bsky.social

2.4K followers 950 following 11K posts

“The world is your oyster... too bad you're allergic to shellfish.” —Paul Neilan Husband, stay at home dad, shitpoetster My biosphere of thoughts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:636ads6a5bsrew5gikxwowue/feed/aaam2wgae6lry

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 12d

Starting every day with a star date and captain’s log would fix me

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 3h

Finished my first playthrough of Sekiro and my god what an incredible game. The world was a much more intimate place when we were stabbing each other. My first hour was spent complaining about the deflect mechanic and the last 29 were spent drooling over how perfect it is. 10 rolling heads/10

Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 3h

The winds of change are blowing but I’m inside so check and mate winds of change better luck next time

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 3h

“Beauty is in the eye of the buttholder” I say holding your butt

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 4h

Abraham Lincoln clears his throat and the crowd quiets down expectantly. He takes a deep breath and begins: “Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent deez nuts, conceived in yo mamma, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created skibidi-dibity equal.”

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 7h

Much better than the zorrogy I stumbled into after stuffing myself at the oreogy

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👻 Patrick Johanneson 🚀 🇨🇦 @patrickjohanneson.com · 3d

orogeny

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 7h

💯 cream either way 😅

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VP of The Nation of ANTIFA @run-ron-ron.bsky.social · 3d

But is this not a pleasant surprise in its own right?

Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 3d

Got lost on my way to the orgy and ended up at the oreogy

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 7h

I should’ve said tough turtles because I feel like a turtle on my back that can’t get up 🐢

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babka.bsky.social @babka.bsky.social · 2d

I'm so there.

Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 2d

“Tough times make tough men” I whisper from the ground after straining my back trying to put on my socks

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 7h

😶‍🌫️🚬😎

Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 7h

😆 I’ve yet to expand beyond my Stanley mug but I feel the darkness pulling me to want to put those cute animal stickers on everything!!

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 15h

Parenting is so fun. I told my son that a lowercase q is just a gay p and I’m just cracking up imagining my parents ever saying that sentence

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 1d

The most surprising thing about being a parent is finding out that I’m a sticker slut

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 2d

“What’s that,” I say to the machine as I point to a group of humans in the distance. “That’s a Willpower tower,” the machine spits out, its mouth parts twisting into a crooked smile. “Where there’s a will, there’s a gourmet,” it sputters as sparks fly, simulating spittle. Overhead lighting crashes.

Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 2d

“I’m not tired, you are!” I shout at the disembodied and melting head of George Washington as it floats in and out of the corners of my vision

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 2d

“Tough times make tough men” I whisper from the ground after straining my back trying to put on my socks

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2d

have you tried jumping in a big pile of leaves about it?

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 2d

I found a friend during my post-lunch walk with my colleague! I safely relocated smol friend from the parking lot to an area with its preferred foods

A wooly bear caterpillar crawling on my hand

A wooly bear caterpillar crawling on the sleeve of my hoodie

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Reverie 💀🕯️ @augustreverie.bsky.social · 2d

I’m a little bit more dead inside. Hopefully, it’ll make me funnier

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 2d

Spooky season, but it's just your mom three martinis in telling everyone about her sexcapades as a 1980s Jazzercise instructor.

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Bree Lundberg @breelundberg.com · 2d

I've been seeing my favorite fuzzy friends around! 🍂🐛

Illustration of a wooly (sometimes spelled woolly) bear caterpillar. It's fuzzy and cute and has a happy little smile. There's lines radiating around it and above it says "it's wooly time!" in lowercase hand lettering. The background is a light orange checkered pattern.

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grilled cheese 🧀 @grilldcheese.bsky.social · 2d

i quit pumpkin spice i'm on the patch

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 3d

how many apps do i have to flip through to see god

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Leen McBeans 🦇 @leenmcbeans.bsky.social · 3d

I hate when I’m shitting on liberals and some rando conservative pops up in the comments all excited because they think I’m one of them. Like, oh HELL no, you can get tf outta here even faster Chadley

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