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@writingdcm.bsky.social

2.4K followers 950 following 11K posts

“The world is your oyster... too bad you're allergic to shellfish.” —Paul Neilan Husband, stay at home dad, shitpoetster My biosphere of thoughts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:636ads6a5bsrew5gikxwowue/feed/aaam2wgae6lry

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 10d

Starting every day with a star date and captain’s log would fix me

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 7h

“What’s that,” I say to the machine as I point to a group of humans in the distance. “That’s a Willpower tower,” the machine spits out, its mouth parts twisting into a crooked smile. “Where there’s a will, there’s a gourmet,” it sputters as sparks fly, simulating spittle. Overhead lighting crashes.

Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 7h

“I’m not tired, you are!” I shout at the disembodied and melting head of George Washington as it floats in and out of the corners of my vision

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Inscription D.C.M. @writingdcm.bsky.social · 13h

“Tough times make tough men” I whisper from the ground after straining my back trying to put on my socks

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 15h

have you tried jumping in a big pile of leaves about it?

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 15h

I found a friend during my post-lunch walk with my colleague! I safely relocated smol friend from the parking lot to an area with its preferred foods

A wooly bear caterpillar crawling on my hand

A wooly bear caterpillar crawling on the sleeve of my hoodie

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Reverie 💀🕯️ @augustreverie.bsky.social · 17h

I’m a little bit more dead inside. Hopefully, it’ll make me funnier

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 14h

Spooky season, but it's just your mom three martinis in telling everyone about her sexcapades as a 1980s Jazzercise instructor.

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Bree Lundberg @breelundberg.com · 16h

I've been seeing my favorite fuzzy friends around! 🍂🐛

Illustration of a wooly (sometimes spelled woolly) bear caterpillar. It's fuzzy and cute and has a happy little smile. There's lines radiating around it and above it says "it's wooly time!" in lowercase hand lettering. The background is a light orange checkered pattern.

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grilled cheese 🧀 @grilldcheese.bsky.social · 22h

i quit pumpkin spice i'm on the patch

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 1d

how many apps do i have to flip through to see god

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Leen McBeans 🦇 @leenmcbeans.bsky.social · 1d

I hate when I’m shitting on liberals and some rando conservative pops up in the comments all excited because they think I’m one of them. Like, oh HELL no, you can get tf outta here even faster Chadley