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@writingdcm.bsky.social
2.4K followers 950 following 11K posts
“The world is your oyster... too bad you're allergic to shellfish.” —Paul Neilan Husband, stay at home dad, shitpoetster My biosphere of thoughts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:636ads6a5bsrew5gikxwowue/feed/aaam2wgae6lry
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writingdcm.bsky.social
Starting every day with a star date and captain’s log would fix me
writingdcm.bsky.social
“What’s that,” I say to the machine as I point to a group of humans in the distance. “That’s a Willpower tower,” the machine spits out, its mouth parts twisting into a crooked smile. “Where there’s a will, there’s a gourmet,” it sputters as sparks fly, simulating spittle. Overhead lighting crashes.
writingdcm.bsky.social
“I’m not tired, you are!” I shout at the disembodied and melting head of George Washington as it floats in and out of the corners of my vision
writingdcm.bsky.social
“Tough times make tough men” I whisper from the ground after straining my back trying to put on my socks
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daddyjew.bsky.social
have you tried jumping in a big pile of leaves about it?
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ficklenuts.bsky.social
I found a friend during my post-lunch walk with my colleague! I safely relocated smol friend from the parking lot to an area with its preferred foods
A wooly bear caterpillar crawling on my hand A wooly bear caterpillar crawling on the sleeve of my hoodie
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augustreverie.bsky.social
I’m a little bit more dead inside. Hopefully, it’ll make me funnier
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octopithy.bsky.social
Spooky season, but it's just your mom three martinis in telling everyone about her sexcapades as a 1980s Jazzercise instructor.
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breelundberg.com
I've been seeing my favorite fuzzy friends around! 🍂🐛
Illustration of a wooly (sometimes spelled woolly) bear caterpillar. It's fuzzy and cute and has a happy little smile. There's lines radiating around it and above it says "it's wooly time!" in lowercase hand lettering. The background is a light orange checkered pattern.
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grilldcheese.bsky.social
i quit pumpkin spice i'm on the patch
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blairloudly.bsky.social
how many apps do i have to flip through to see god
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leenmcbeans.bsky.social
I hate when I’m shitting on liberals and some rando conservative pops up in the comments all excited because they think I’m one of them. Like, oh HELL no, you can get tf outta here even faster Chadley
writingdcm.bsky.social
When I grow up I want to be an ent so that I can say “I put the ent in consistent” as I’m plowing your mom
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blobstar.bsky.social
How many ghost peppers must I eat before I can walk through walls?
writingdcm.bsky.social
It would be the best seminar ever, especially given the guest speaker, Seminant
writingdcm.bsky.social
Got lost on my way to the orgy and ended up at the oreogy
writingdcm.bsky.social
My daughter: *army crawls*

Me, a pacifist: dear god no
writingdcm.bsky.social
Dr. Frankenstein was inspired by Dr. Frankfurtenstein and his experimented to reanimate sausage links
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writingdcm.bsky.social
Few things have disillusioned me more than learning that anthology isn’t the study of holographic ants
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girlawhirl.bsky.social
I haven’t been the same since I found out that owning your own home was the adult equivalent to being grounded.
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demandavoider.bsky.social
The h in chode is silent. The e is not.
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demandavoider.bsky.social
waiting until November 1st to do a spooky handle and pfp is a real power move.
writingdcm.bsky.social
Me: I want John Cena

Mom: we have John Cena at home

John Cena at home:
NFL Ref looking like John Cena and doing the false start sign