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amiigat.bsky.social
@amiigat.bsky.social
· Nov 11
When you see your old Twitter friends have finally joined Bluesky:
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I lose followers the old fashioned way by blocking people.
December 7, 2025 at 8:20 PM
I lose followers the old fashioned way by blocking people.
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I hate restaurants where they won’t let you bring your own mariachi band.
December 7, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I hate restaurants where they won’t let you bring your own mariachi band.
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I don’t know who needs to hear this but Monday is coming faster than your ex.
December 7, 2025 at 7:13 PM
I don’t know who needs to hear this but Monday is coming faster than your ex.
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someone wished me a magic Christmas so I’ll be sawing myself in half
December 7, 2025 at 4:26 PM
someone wished me a magic Christmas so I’ll be sawing myself in half
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Hate is a strong word. I need a stronger one.
December 7, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Hate is a strong word. I need a stronger one.
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The satanic farmers almanac is calling for ALL HAIL.
December 7, 2025 at 7:15 PM
The satanic farmers almanac is calling for ALL HAIL.
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Soaring down the aisles of Costco kid-free with that big Thelma & Louis energy. Holla at your boy.
December 7, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Soaring down the aisles of Costco kid-free with that big Thelma & Louis energy. Holla at your boy.
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It smells like the Sunday scaries in here.
December 7, 2025 at 6:06 PM
It smells like the Sunday scaries in here.
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Sorry I’m late, I was busy doing fuck all.
December 7, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Sorry I’m late, I was busy doing fuck all.
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I can’t believe that in this day and age, people are still wearing fir.
December 7, 2025 at 2:46 PM
I can’t believe that in this day and age, people are still wearing fir.
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I told my husband I was tired and he said, “You’re always tired.” Sir, that is correct. And thank you for your contribution.
December 6, 2025 at 7:38 PM
I told my husband I was tired and he said, “You’re always tired.” Sir, that is correct. And thank you for your contribution.
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What wine pairs well with shut the fuck up?
December 6, 2025 at 10:08 PM
What wine pairs well with shut the fuck up?
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The bigger the boobs the funnier the skeets or whatever.
March 18, 2025 at 10:18 PM
The bigger the boobs the funnier the skeets or whatever.
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Don't talk to me while I'm listening.
December 6, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Don't talk to me while I'm listening.
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I don’t care about follower count, I just want people to repost my stupid jokes.
December 6, 2025 at 4:56 PM
I don’t care about follower count, I just want people to repost my stupid jokes.
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On the way to pick up my son’s friends for their first chess tournament, I was instructed not to tell any jokes. To cope, I’m only saying serious things but following it up with, “and that’s no joke.” It’s the ultimate loophole.
December 6, 2025 at 5:00 PM
On the way to pick up my son’s friends for their first chess tournament, I was instructed not to tell any jokes. To cope, I’m only saying serious things but following it up with, “and that’s no joke.” It’s the ultimate loophole.
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"Say it!"
"No!"
"Say it, Hans."
"My name's not Hans!"
"I WILL drop you."
“Fine, okay, you win!”
“I need to hear you say it.”
"Die Hard is a Christmas movie!"
"No!"
"Say it, Hans."
"My name's not Hans!"
"I WILL drop you."
“Fine, okay, you win!”
“I need to hear you say it.”
"Die Hard is a Christmas movie!"
December 6, 2025 at 4:37 PM
"Say it!"
"No!"
"Say it, Hans."
"My name's not Hans!"
"I WILL drop you."
“Fine, okay, you win!”
“I need to hear you say it.”
"Die Hard is a Christmas movie!"
"No!"
"Say it, Hans."
"My name's not Hans!"
"I WILL drop you."
“Fine, okay, you win!”
“I need to hear you say it.”
"Die Hard is a Christmas movie!"
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How can we be soulmates if you don’t repost my stupid jokes?
December 6, 2025 at 5:16 PM
How can we be soulmates if you don’t repost my stupid jokes?
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"You're lucky Mom says I can't open my presents until Christmas."
"But I'm not-"
"Tick tock, motherfucker."
"But I'm not-"
"Tick tock, motherfucker."
December 6, 2025 at 2:17 PM
"You're lucky Mom says I can't open my presents until Christmas."
"But I'm not-"
"Tick tock, motherfucker."
"But I'm not-"
"Tick tock, motherfucker."
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Woke up an attention whore again.
December 6, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Woke up an attention whore again.
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Head of lettuce sounds like a big responsibility.
December 6, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Head of lettuce sounds like a big responsibility.
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I have nothing in common with unattractive people.
December 6, 2025 at 3:50 PM
I have nothing in common with unattractive people.
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I’m only here for the attractive people like me.
December 6, 2025 at 4:12 PM
I’m only here for the attractive people like me.