They keep sending Sigourney Weaver to space to prevent me from wooing her.
December 5, 2025 at 3:23 PM
They keep sending Sigourney Weaver to space to prevent me from wooing her.
Siri how do I teach my cats the shame of sin
December 4, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Siri how do I teach my cats the shame of sin
Reposted by Bone Dog
Chicken fingers? Chicken tenders? Let’s just make it easy and call them tender fingers
December 1, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Chicken fingers? Chicken tenders? Let’s just make it easy and call them tender fingers
Reposted by Bone Dog
Cracking the window just the right amount, settling in between freshly cleaned sheets, turning out the light and laying back on my favorite pillow: now I’m ready to imagine the exact layout of The Maze
August 23, 2025 at 10:11 AM
Cracking the window just the right amount, settling in between freshly cleaned sheets, turning out the light and laying back on my favorite pillow: now I’m ready to imagine the exact layout of The Maze
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE: To you your father should be as a god/ One that composed your beauties, yea, and one/ To whom you are but as a form in wax/ By him imprinted and within his power/ To leave the figure or disfigure it
HAMNET SHAKESPEARE: That shit is dog water and your collar is cheeks
HAMNET SHAKESPEARE: That shit is dog water and your collar is cheeks
November 30, 2025 at 1:11 AM
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE: To you your father should be as a god/ One that composed your beauties, yea, and one/ To whom you are but as a form in wax/ By him imprinted and within his power/ To leave the figure or disfigure it
HAMNET SHAKESPEARE: That shit is dog water and your collar is cheeks
HAMNET SHAKESPEARE: That shit is dog water and your collar is cheeks
Ah the famous jackoff guy is in the news again. Surely this time because he’s been killed…
November 29, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Ah the famous jackoff guy is in the news again. Surely this time because he’s been killed…
Reposted by Bone Dog
I wish all International Organizations Attempting to Arrest Pete Hegseth for Murder a very He Was Killed While Attempting Escape.
November 29, 2025 at 4:06 PM
I wish all International Organizations Attempting to Arrest Pete Hegseth for Murder a very He Was Killed While Attempting Escape.
Reposted by Bone Dog
i cant believe its been almost 3 years since we lost our beautiful "Diamond"! Damn her big and precious HEART for giving out!
November 29, 2025 at 12:33 AM
i cant believe its been almost 3 years since we lost our beautiful "Diamond"! Damn her big and precious HEART for giving out!
If you’re an American with an Irish flag tattoo you better be eating unseasoned boiled vegetables ONLY today
November 27, 2025 at 5:56 PM
If you’re an American with an Irish flag tattoo you better be eating unseasoned boiled vegetables ONLY today
ME: I am incapable of separating the art from the artist.
ALSO ME AND ALSO MY LYFT DRIVER RIGHT NOW: Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy diggy
ALSO ME AND ALSO MY LYFT DRIVER RIGHT NOW: Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy diggy
November 27, 2025 at 7:44 AM
ME: I am incapable of separating the art from the artist.
ALSO ME AND ALSO MY LYFT DRIVER RIGHT NOW: Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy diggy
ALSO ME AND ALSO MY LYFT DRIVER RIGHT NOW: Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy diggy
Hi I’m Hamnet Shakespeare, welcome to Jackass
November 26, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Hi I’m Hamnet Shakespeare, welcome to Jackass
Reposted by Bone Dog
me when i’m asked who marvin the martian is:
November 25, 2025 at 6:59 PM
me when i’m asked who marvin the martian is:
Reposted by Bone Dog
Investigated by the FBI at the personal behest of the president because I repeatedly referred to the director of Rush Hour as "Bert Ratner" on a podcast.
November 25, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Investigated by the FBI at the personal behest of the president because I repeatedly referred to the director of Rush Hour as "Bert Ratner" on a podcast.
Movie idea 11 angry men & I know what you’re thinking that’s one less man but these men are twice as angry & all day they’ve been making popsicles out of monster energy drinks & dipping them in room temp monster energy drinks & there might have even been a 12th guy at one point but he is long dead
November 25, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Movie idea 11 angry men & I know what you’re thinking that’s one less man but these men are twice as angry & all day they’ve been making popsicles out of monster energy drinks & dipping them in room temp monster energy drinks & there might have even been a 12th guy at one point but he is long dead
LEFTIST GUY WHO LOVES TO FUCK PAPER TOWELS: While you can hate the overall stance of a newspaper the editorial page is there to express a wide range of beliefs…
November 25, 2025 at 3:10 PM
LEFTIST GUY WHO LOVES TO FUCK PAPER TOWELS: While you can hate the overall stance of a newspaper the editorial page is there to express a wide range of beliefs…
Movie idea it’s the day of the big game and the coach is giving a speech and he says let’s win this one for our player who died in a horrible car wreck and the team captain says coach that was all of us the movie is called Ghost Team
November 25, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Movie idea it’s the day of the big game and the coach is giving a speech and he says let’s win this one for our player who died in a horrible car wreck and the team captain says coach that was all of us the movie is called Ghost Team
None of the shows or movies on Apple TV are real if you are watching an Apple TV original it is because you yourself are in an Apple TV original and you need to call a doctor
November 23, 2025 at 3:57 PM
None of the shows or movies on Apple TV are real if you are watching an Apple TV original it is because you yourself are in an Apple TV original and you need to call a doctor
Reposted by Bone Dog
"Dasha got dropped by Gersh," I say to the elerly woman sitting next to me on the bus. "Can you believe that?" She empties an entire can of mace directly into my face instantly.
November 15, 2025 at 10:54 PM
"Dasha got dropped by Gersh," I say to the elerly woman sitting next to me on the bus. "Can you believe that?" She empties an entire can of mace directly into my face instantly.
If a president wants to suck another president’s dick that’s none of my business. What is my business is how much it’s costing the American taxpayer.
November 15, 2025 at 11:15 PM
If a president wants to suck another president’s dick that’s none of my business. What is my business is how much it’s costing the American taxpayer.
There is nothing braver than sucking Robert Kennedy Jr’s dick it’s like drinking from the Ganges
November 15, 2025 at 6:00 PM
There is nothing braver than sucking Robert Kennedy Jr’s dick it’s like drinking from the Ganges
NYT OPINION COLUMN: Come On, These Guys Were Just Blowing Off Some Steam
November 15, 2025 at 4:30 PM
NYT OPINION COLUMN: Come On, These Guys Were Just Blowing Off Some Steam
The government wanted my sperm to create more white babies but I drank a glass of green food coloring and one of their “breeding hags” gave birth to a weak and annoying Hulk-like creature.
November 14, 2025 at 4:47 AM
The government wanted my sperm to create more white babies but I drank a glass of green food coloring and one of their “breeding hags” gave birth to a weak and annoying Hulk-like creature.
I don’t understand why you aren’t allowed to say that Stephen Miller should be dragged into the street and slaughtered like a hog but you’re still allowed to say that Back to the Future is a good movie.
November 8, 2025 at 7:05 AM
I don’t understand why you aren’t allowed to say that Stephen Miller should be dragged into the street and slaughtered like a hog but you’re still allowed to say that Back to the Future is a good movie.
Got kicked out of r/dragons for saying the Chinese kind of dragon is sexier than the Game of Thrones kind of dragon.
November 8, 2025 at 6:51 AM
Got kicked out of r/dragons for saying the Chinese kind of dragon is sexier than the Game of Thrones kind of dragon.
Reposted by Bone Dog
nearly a century later, the famous Odessa Steps sequence from Battleship Potemkin is still being referenced by clumsy mothers everywhere
October 31, 2025 at 6:04 AM
nearly a century later, the famous Odessa Steps sequence from Battleship Potemkin is still being referenced by clumsy mothers everywhere