Vallejo Crime Desk
@buzzfeedchris.bsky.social
A just universe wouldn't tolerate my existence.
We Are The World's Economy and The Roll is On!
Retired @Buzzfeed co-founder. Cattle rancher.
We Are The World's Economy and The Roll is On!
Retired @Buzzfeed co-founder. Cattle rancher.
Reposted by Vallejo Crime Desk
We were dead and now we're the hottest country in the world, the first country—quite frankly the only country—where a box of breakfast cereal costs $11. We're saying Merry Christmas, and also the r-slur, and we're getting back to saying "gay" so it means "stupid" again. Grown-ups are doing it now,
December 18, 2025 at 5:19 AM
We were dead and now we're the hottest country in the world, the first country—quite frankly the only country—where a box of breakfast cereal costs $11. We're saying Merry Christmas, and also the r-slur, and we're getting back to saying "gay" so it means "stupid" again. Grown-ups are doing it now,
Earth might be worse than hell.
December 16, 2025 at 1:29 PM
Earth might be worse than hell.
The dave portnoy thing is a good reminder: don't count your chickens before you've sex-crimed them.
December 14, 2025 at 10:29 PM
The dave portnoy thing is a good reminder: don't count your chickens before you've sex-crimed them.
They want to blame a rise in autism on tylenol like there haven't been 300 episodes of bob's burgers
December 13, 2025 at 3:57 PM
They want to blame a rise in autism on tylenol like there haven't been 300 episodes of bob's burgers
the woke calibri mindvirus
December 11, 2025 at 2:45 PM
the woke calibri mindvirus
we deserve to be nuked
December 7, 2025 at 7:37 PM
we deserve to be nuked
"Go Bills" is Western NY Assalamualaikum
December 3, 2025 at 11:57 PM
"Go Bills" is Western NY Assalamualaikum
Reposted by Vallejo Crime Desk
Imagine posing for a photographer friend who sells your image to iStock and a year later, you see this is what The Washington Post has done with the image of you walking on a beautiful fall day
November 29, 2025 at 6:02 AM
Imagine posing for a photographer friend who sells your image to iStock and a year later, you see this is what The Washington Post has done with the image of you walking on a beautiful fall day
Happy Coach Prime Retirement Day to those who celebrate
November 29, 2025 at 10:46 AM
Happy Coach Prime Retirement Day to those who celebrate
Trump is definitely taking Blake Lively's side on whatever stupid shit she is involved with.
November 28, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Trump is definitely taking Blake Lively's side on whatever stupid shit she is involved with.
I honestly believe they false flag this stuff just so trump can go back to his stump speech, the anti-immigrant stuff is the only thing he can semi-coherently recall.
November 28, 2025 at 2:50 PM
I honestly believe they false flag this stuff just so trump can go back to his stump speech, the anti-immigrant stuff is the only thing he can semi-coherently recall.
Quiet? Erika Kirk won't shut up about it!
I’m firing my wife tonight before she can do this to me
November 27, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Quiet? Erika Kirk won't shut up about it!
Reposted by Vallejo Crime Desk
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
November 27, 2025 at 4:24 PM
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Reposted by Vallejo Crime Desk
You are cherry picking data. Now show us when somebody in Israel was googling UVU and the nearest hospital 2 months before it went down.
November 27, 2025 at 3:23 PM
You are cherry picking data. Now show us when somebody in Israel was googling UVU and the nearest hospital 2 months before it went down.
Reposted by Vallejo Crime Desk
Reposted by Vallejo Crime Desk
Being a producer for the Macy’s Day Parade must be so disorienting. What do you mean we’re going to have Shaggy do a medley of his biggest hits right after the Labubu float?
November 27, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Being a producer for the Macy’s Day Parade must be so disorienting. What do you mean we’re going to have Shaggy do a medley of his biggest hits right after the Labubu float?
Reposted by Vallejo Crime Desk
This guy's account, but just him reacting to Israeli war crimes
November 9, 2025 at 11:11 PM
This guy's account, but just him reacting to Israeli war crimes
Imagine if Zohran shows up to his meeting in a "Trump Skis in Jeans" ballcap, that'll really show Donnie he means business.
November 21, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Imagine if Zohran shows up to his meeting in a "Trump Skis in Jeans" ballcap, that'll really show Donnie he means business.
I am curating your shame experience.
November 20, 2025 at 2:20 PM
I am curating your shame experience.
Reposted by Vallejo Crime Desk
if you feed a labubu after midnight it turns into a teletubbie
November 15, 2025 at 2:09 AM
if you feed a labubu after midnight it turns into a teletubbie
Reposted by Vallejo Crime Desk
Nuzzi's fawning coverage of the sociopathic conspiracy crank she was having an affair with aided his rise to political power, which he is using to perpetrate the worst intentional public health catastrophe of our unnecessarily shortened lifetimes, and THAT is the STORY.
November 15, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Nuzzi's fawning coverage of the sociopathic conspiracy crank she was having an affair with aided his rise to political power, which he is using to perpetrate the worst intentional public health catastrophe of our unnecessarily shortened lifetimes, and THAT is the STORY.
You'll never guess which biographical tidbit TMZ left out of its last writeup about Elon's dad.
November 14, 2025 at 6:20 PM
You'll never guess which biographical tidbit TMZ left out of its last writeup about Elon's dad.
Reposted by Vallejo Crime Desk
They should invent a government that isn’t senile pedophile adolf hitler
November 14, 2025 at 4:59 AM
They should invent a government that isn’t senile pedophile adolf hitler
Reposted by Vallejo Crime Desk
Again, Nuzzi didn't make a mistake. She sought this out. It was well known. Back when @dicknixon.bsky.social was anonymous & there were rumors he was important, she - drunk - solicited him to come see her in New York. He declined, quit using her as a source, & kept her at arm's length.
November 14, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Again, Nuzzi didn't make a mistake. She sought this out. It was well known. Back when @dicknixon.bsky.social was anonymous & there were rumors he was important, she - drunk - solicited him to come see her in New York. He declined, quit using her as a source, & kept her at arm's length.