Chris Johnson
@captainslim.lol
Retired airline pilot, cryptography (not to be confused with cryptocurrency) enthusiast.
Signal DMs: https://signal.captainslim.lol
Signal DMs: https://signal.captainslim.lol
Gotta love watching your own flight land from the tail camera.
November 20, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Gotta love watching your own flight land from the tail camera.
I tried using my new Apple Digital ID, the one you derive from your passport, at a Miami airport TSA checkpoint today. My phone didn’t react at all when I held it by the NFC reader, as if the reader wasn’t even turned on. 🤷🏼♂️
November 18, 2025 at 10:37 PM
I tried using my new Apple Digital ID, the one you derive from your passport, at a Miami airport TSA checkpoint today. My phone didn’t react at all when I held it by the NFC reader, as if the reader wasn’t even turned on. 🤷🏼♂️
Reposted by Chris Johnson
You can now add your U.S. Passport to Apple Wallet on iPhone and Watch for use at airports! Just tap the + icon in wallet and add Digital ID at the top:
November 12, 2025 at 7:29 PM
You can now add your U.S. Passport to Apple Wallet on iPhone and Watch for use at airports! Just tap the + icon in wallet and add Digital ID at the top:
Reposted by Chris Johnson
well done sir no one suspects a thing
November 12, 2025 at 7:38 PM
well done sir no one suspects a thing
Reposted by Chris Johnson
Trump: "Nobody knows what magnets are."
November 10, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Trump: "Nobody knows what magnets are."
Reposted by Chris Johnson
sure, you might not be able to eat or go to the doctor, but check out how nice Trump's new marble shitter is
October 31, 2025 at 5:04 PM
sure, you might not be able to eat or go to the doctor, but check out how nice Trump's new marble shitter is
Reposted by Chris Johnson
October 20, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Reposted by Chris Johnson
When college kids publicly say "Israel's war on Gaza is bad" that is full-blown anti-Semitism that requires the federal government to crack down on all colleges.
When Young Republicans in their 20s and 30s privately praise Hitler and "joke" about the Holocaust, well, that's just freedom baby.
When Young Republicans in their 20s and 30s privately praise Hitler and "joke" about the Holocaust, well, that's just freedom baby.
October 15, 2025 at 6:53 PM
When college kids publicly say "Israel's war on Gaza is bad" that is full-blown anti-Semitism that requires the federal government to crack down on all colleges.
When Young Republicans in their 20s and 30s privately praise Hitler and "joke" about the Holocaust, well, that's just freedom baby.
When Young Republicans in their 20s and 30s privately praise Hitler and "joke" about the Holocaust, well, that's just freedom baby.
Reposted by Chris Johnson
Weeks before his death, you say?
Julius Caesar was the first Roman to put his own living face on coins, weeks before his death. It is one of the deepest cultural signifiers of something autocracies do and republics do not.
“Render unto Caesar.” A practice so notoriously arrogant Jesus himself dunked on it with snarky wordplay.
“Render unto Caesar.” A practice so notoriously arrogant Jesus himself dunked on it with snarky wordplay.
Treasury Department Has Plans To Mint Dollar Coin Featuring Donald Trump's Likeness | Defector
The United States Department of the Treasury has developed, to the brink of production, a dollar coin that features the face and likeness of President Donald Trump, according to a source within the Tr...
defector.com
October 3, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Weeks before his death, you say?
Took the Shinkansen back to Tokyo, was able to see Mt. Fuji again.
September 30, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Took the Shinkansen back to Tokyo, was able to see Mt. Fuji again.
Donald Trump, scientist
Trump: "It's too much liquid. Too many different things are going into that baby at too big a number. The size of this thing when you look at it. It's like 80 different vaccines and beyond vaccines."
September 22, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Donald Trump, scientist
On the Shinkansen (Japanese bullet train) from Tokyo to Kyoto.
September 21, 2025 at 4:28 AM
On the Shinkansen (Japanese bullet train) from Tokyo to Kyoto.
Reposted by Chris Johnson
I still can't believe a large segment of Red America looks at this pampered crybaby, slathered in orange makeup with his cotton candy combover, doing his little dances to the Village People and going on endlessly about his passion for interior decorating, and thinks "now *that* is an Alpha Male"
September 18, 2025 at 11:34 PM
I still can't believe a large segment of Red America looks at this pampered crybaby, slathered in orange makeup with his cotton candy combover, doing his little dances to the Village People and going on endlessly about his passion for interior decorating, and thinks "now *that* is an Alpha Male"
Reposted by Chris Johnson
one of the clearest signs you're dealing with a strong and principled political movement is when they want to make it illegal to make fun of them
September 15, 2025 at 3:54 PM
one of the clearest signs you're dealing with a strong and principled political movement is when they want to make it illegal to make fun of them
Reposted by Chris Johnson
I, too, wish that the president of the United States was a completely different person
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/12/o...
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/12/o...
September 13, 2025 at 6:35 AM
I, too, wish that the president of the United States was a completely different person
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/12/o...
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/12/o...
Reposted by Chris Johnson
Kirk didn't serve in the military or hold office. The war hero treatment -- half-mast flags, military guard, Air Force Two escort, calls for a statue at the Capitol or to lie in the Rotunda -- shows that for MAGA, service to Trump has become the highest, most honorable form of service.
September 12, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Kirk didn't serve in the military or hold office. The war hero treatment -- half-mast flags, military guard, Air Force Two escort, calls for a statue at the Capitol or to lie in the Rotunda -- shows that for MAGA, service to Trump has become the highest, most honorable form of service.
Reposted by Chris Johnson
Me, into the Abyss: AAAAAHHHH
Abyss, back at me: No shit
Abyss, back at me: No shit
September 10, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Me, into the Abyss: AAAAAHHHH
Abyss, back at me: No shit
Abyss, back at me: No shit
Reposted by Chris Johnson
One day after the Supreme Court lifted the ban on racial profiling, federal agents swarmed a car in Van Nuys.
Four masked agents with guns drawn yanked people out, slammed them to the ground, and pointed a weapon at a pregnant woman.
There is no justification for this. None.
Four masked agents with guns drawn yanked people out, slammed them to the ground, and pointed a weapon at a pregnant woman.
There is no justification for this. None.
September 10, 2025 at 5:34 AM
One day after the Supreme Court lifted the ban on racial profiling, federal agents swarmed a car in Van Nuys.
Four masked agents with guns drawn yanked people out, slammed them to the ground, and pointed a weapon at a pregnant woman.
There is no justification for this. None.
Four masked agents with guns drawn yanked people out, slammed them to the ground, and pointed a weapon at a pregnant woman.
There is no justification for this. None.
Reposted by Chris Johnson
DEFINITIVE PROOF THE “SPACE FORCE” ANNOUNCEMENT WAS PRE RECORDED!
If you look closely at the video, it features Donald Trump in the right side of the frame, and if you zoom in you can clearly tell that he is alive, which is impossible because he is dead.
If you look closely at the video, it features Donald Trump in the right side of the frame, and if you zoom in you can clearly tell that he is alive, which is impossible because he is dead.
September 2, 2025 at 6:59 PM
DEFINITIVE PROOF THE “SPACE FORCE” ANNOUNCEMENT WAS PRE RECORDED!
If you look closely at the video, it features Donald Trump in the right side of the frame, and if you zoom in you can clearly tell that he is alive, which is impossible because he is dead.
If you look closely at the video, it features Donald Trump in the right side of the frame, and if you zoom in you can clearly tell that he is alive, which is impossible because he is dead.
Now he’s capitalizing the first letter of every word? That’s new. He’s really gone around the bend.
Trump declares intention to issue an Executive Order mandating Voter ID for all votes, restricts mail-in voting to exceptions, and insists on paper ballots only.
August 31, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Now he’s capitalizing the first letter of every word? That’s new. He’s really gone around the bend.
It was objectively funny.
August 28, 2025 at 8:31 PM
It was objectively funny.
Reposted by Chris Johnson
Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up https://theonion.com/guy-in-philosophy-class-needs-to-shut-the-fuck-up-1819568055/
August 25, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up https://theonion.com/guy-in-philosophy-class-needs-to-shut-the-fuck-up-1819568055/
Reposted by Chris Johnson
we see very clearly in public polling that people in california and D.C. hate the deployments and that americans broadly disapprove of them, but here we have an assertion that the smart strategy is to avoid any discussion of the situation in favor of a pivot to, you guessed it, kitchen table issues.
If you’re mad about Dems avoiding talking about DC, you can blame the Democratic quants, as demonstrated in this memo from David Shor’s Blue Rose Research
August 24, 2025 at 6:43 PM
we see very clearly in public polling that people in california and D.C. hate the deployments and that americans broadly disapprove of them, but here we have an assertion that the smart strategy is to avoid any discussion of the situation in favor of a pivot to, you guessed it, kitchen table issues.
Reposted by Chris Johnson
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
Because you smell like bread
Because you smell like bread
August 2, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
Because you smell like bread
Because you smell like bread
Again with the two weeks.
Howard Lutnick says many amazing trade deals are coming in 2 weeks: “The next two weeks are going to be weeks for the record books!”
July 20, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Again with the two weeks.